A Guide to Being the Best Man: Everything You Need to Know About Your Best Man Duties

Firstly, congratulations on being chosen to be the best man! We’d hazard a guess that you’re feeling pretty happy about it – but now it’s time to talk best man duties.

When it comes to traditional wedding party roles, the best man duties are up there as some of the most important, and the fact you’re reading this means you’re already taking your best man responsibilities pretty seriously.

So, what does the best man do? Well, every couple is different, and their needs will always vary depending on the style and tone of their wedding and the kind of couple they are. Some will assign more best man jobs than others, and some will be OK with a hands-off approach. But whatever they need, we’re here to make sure you’re well-equipped for it all!

Your Guide to Best Man Duties: Tasks, Speech Tips & More

Typically, the best man won’t be involved in much of the wedding planning, but your role does include a lot more than simply planning a stag do and giving a best man speech.

As the groom’s wingman – or woman – you’re expected to be the essence of calmness and capability. So, here’s your game plan…

• What is a Best Man?
• What Are Best Man Duties?
• Best Man Duties Before the Wedding
• Best Man Duties On the Wedding Day
• Best Man Duties After the Wedding
• Best Man Duties Timeline

What is a Best Man?

The role of a best man is usually chosen by the groom – and is typically his closest friend or family member – but this might differ depending on the couple’s dynamics. There’s no set rule as to who the groom should choose to be his best man or woman.

The role of best man is traditionally the equivalent to the bride’s maid of honour. This means they have important duties to uphold on the wedding day and, as a trusted confidante, is there to support the groom throughout the planning process.

Of course, there are no rules that state the groom has to even have a best man if he doesn’t want to. Many couples are choosing to mix things up with best women, bridesmen, bridesmates – or no wedding party at all!

What Are Best Man Duties?

We’ll go into more details on the duties of the best man below, but typically some of the key best man responsibilities include planning a stag do, writing and reading a best man’s speech and helping the groomsmen nail their wedding attire.

The best man is essentially the groom’s right-hand man and may even be involved in some pre-wedding tasks like helping choose the ushers. He’ll also be responsible for coordinating the rest of the groomsmen on the day, ensuring everyone is in the right place and well-informed while providing emotional support to his bestie. No pressure then!

Best Man Duties Before the Wedding

They’ve trusted you to be a key part of their team, so make sure you’ve got your eye on the ball! These are the jobs the best man will need to help with before the big day

Go suit shopping

As the best man, one of your main duties will be going suit shopping with the groom and being present for fittings. You may also need to assist the groom in rounding up the ushers and other members of the wedding party (hello, dads!) for their try-ons and fittings, too.

Traditionally, it’s the couple who pay for the groomsmen’s suits – whether they’re bought or hired – but always gauge whether or not financial contributions from you are required. This should be discussed openly and up front.

Select the squad

The groom may ask you to help choose the ushers. Pick wisely: they’ll help take some of the pressure off on the wedding day! Understanding what an usher’s roles and duties are will also help.

You can make this process fun, too. Invite the couple and the rest of the groomsmen to join you in a little pre-wedding celebration, order in some food and drinks and use it as a chance to bond with anyone you don’t know before the planning commences.

Liaise with the maid of honour

Though this isn’t an official duty, you might also want to chat with the maid of honour (if there is one) to see how you can be of further use on the wedding day – maybe you can be in charge of organising some large umbrellas in case of rain or arranging a special surprise for the couple themselves.

Help the groom with admin

Protocol dictates that the best man isn’t typically involved in much of the wedding planning, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer yourself up! 

Perhaps the groom could do with a hand booking and arranging transport (at the very least have a list of taxi firms close at hand for any last-minute hiccups), managing RSVPs or coordinating schedules. Offering to help set up, move furniture and/or direct suppliers on the morning of the wedding won’t go amiss, either!

Plan the stag do

As tempting as it may be to book that blow-out week in Vegas, it’s important to consider what the groom wants to do. Ask them for a list of people they’d like to attend and think carefully about realistic locations and budgets before you book anything.

The best way to plan a stag do is introduce yourself via a WhatsApp group of all the invitees. Pick two or three dates and do a poll to find out who can attend which dates, before picking the date that the majority can do. It might seem ruthless but it’s the easiest way to organise a large group of people without too much back and forth.

Remember, don’t try and wing anything – even if it’s something like a stag weekend in London. Make sure hotels, pubs and clubs are expecting you. Personalise your plans with stag party games and pranks (but nothing that’ll get him arrested, please!) and make sure you collect any money for hotels, flights and activities as early as possible.

It’s recommended you organise the stag to take place between 1-3 months before the wedding.

Write your speech

So, this is the big one. It’s essential to write your speech ahead of the big day and rehearse it so you feel comfortable with it when you have to stand up and speak. If you’re not sure where to start, we’ve got best man speech introductions and toasts to end your speech to inspire you, as well as guides on short speeches for the best man and writing a best man speech for your brother.

Remember, the key to a winning speech is practice, a few laughs with some best man speech jokes (although tread carefully around those ‘hilarious’ tales of the groom’s past and absolutely no swearing or vulgar language), some heartfelt words and brevity – no one likes a rambler!

Consider a gift for the groom

This isn’t compulsory but it might be a nice gesture for you as the best man to present the groom with a sentimental gift from his groomsmen on the morning of the wedding that you can all contribute to. Whether it’s a bottle of vintage scotch or a personalised wedding watch, it's a classy and thoughtful touch.

Check in with the groom

The biggest day of their life is fast approaching, so take some time out to check in with them – as the best man, you are his sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety he might be experiencing.

Stay with the groom the night before

Traditionally, the best man stays with the groom the night before the wedding. Prepare for this with drinks and snacks – but make sure neither of you drink too much alcohol or eat anything that might cause an issue the next day! If you have some time, go over your best man speech again to make sure you’re feeling confident about it.

Best Man Duties On the Wedding Day

There are some really important jobs for the best man on the wedding day itself – a run-through with the groom will calm your nerves and answer any questions about what exactly your role is.

Support the groom getting ready

You should be on hand to help them get ready and deal with any last-minute queries or tasks that come their way. Carry some cash for any emergencies – such as unexpected taxis – and have tissues to hand. Weddings mean tears!

Organise the ushers

Be the person to take delivery of the buttonholes (if you’re having them) and hand them out to the ushers and other groomsmen. The groom will be focusing on themselves (as they should be) so keep an eye on the clock too, to make sure time doesn’t get away from you.

The ushers are there to usher the guests (the clue is in the name), but if the groom isn’t having any, ensure you both get to the venue early, essentially, before the guests so you can do this job.

Keep the rings safe

Perhaps one of the most famous best man duties, you may be asked to be the ring bearer at the wedding – and therefore entrusted to keep the rings safe ahead of the ceremony. Check that your suit has a safe pocket and check, check and check again. You might also be asked to hold the couple’s personal items, such as their phones or bank cards.

Greet the guests (with the groom)

Arrive at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Once there, the best man should stand by the groom’s side to welcome and greet arriving guests. You may know many of them well but be sure to introduce yourself as the best man to any that you don’t, so they know who they can speak to if they have any queries.

Stand alongside the groom at the altar

Before the wedding ceremony starts, take your place on the front right-hand side of the ceremony room at the altar. Make sure you have the rings to hand if you’ve been entrusted with that job, ready for when the couple exchange them. If you aren’t the ring bearer, make sure the right person has them ahead of the vows. 

Escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony

Traditionally, once the vows have been said and people begin to leave the ceremony, the best man is required to escort the maid of honour (if there is one) out of the room ahead of the newlyweds exiting. The couple might not choose to do their ceremony exit this way, so always ask what the plan is in advance. 

Stand in the receiving line

If the newlyweds choose to have a receiving line at the start of the wedding reception, you’ll be expected to be part of it and greet guests as a key member of the wedding party.

The receiving line isn’t as tough a job as it seems: guests move quickly into the venue (it’s where the drinks are, after all!) so it really is a quick, “Hello, great to see you, thanks for coming…”

Organise the photographs

Make sure you’re familiar with key members of the newlywed’s family because the photographer certainly won’t be – and will rely on you to help herd guests away from the bar and into the frame. You’ll also need to be in plenty of shots yourself!

Announce the happy couple

If the couple have forgone a master of ceremonies or toastmaster, and there is no one from the venue who can act as a speaker, you may be asked to announce key elements of the day such as the couple’s arrival, the speeches and the cutting of the cake. You’ll find that many wedding venues do have someone on hand who can do this, so always check ahead of time.

Deliver your speech

You’ll have already gone over it to make sure your best man speech delivery is confident and clear, and now is the moment of truth! The speeches usually take place after the meal but it’s becoming increasingly popular to have them before or in between courses so the speech-givers can relax and enjoy their food. Make sure you’re aware of the timings the couple have decided upon.

When it comes to the wedding speech order, the best man’s speech is usually last, following the father of the bride speech and the groom. This might change however, particularly if there is a maid of honour speech or even a bride speech in the mix.

You’ll likely feel nervous – and that’s OK! Our biggest best-man speech tips are to speak slowly and clearly, don’t hold the microphone too close, be sure to pause for laughter and thank everyone who needs to be thanked before proposing a toast to the happy couple.

Put your best foot forward

After the newlyweds’ first dance, it’s customary for the best man to have the first dance with the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid (if there is one) as well as encourage everyone else on to the dancefloor.

It may be that the couple don’t require you to fulfil this role, in which case, once you have everyone up and partying, your official best man duties are done and dusted for the night! But we would recommend keeping an eye on all the guests – as an important member of the wedding party, it’s your job to ensure everyone is safe and behaving accordingly.

Best Man Duties After the Wedding

There are a few things you might be required to do after the wedding, so always check with the couple if they need help with the following:

Take care of the wedding gifts

Tradition dictates that the best man receives the wedding gifts on the day, but most couples will have organised a table for guests to place them on.

If the couple are heading off on their honeymoon straight away, you may be asked to store them safely until they get back. Even if they’re not jetting off straight away, you may still be tasked with ensuring the gifts, cards and items such as the wedding guest book are collected from the venue and delivered to the couple.

Clean and return your suit

Offer to help out by rounding up and returning any hired items, such as the suits and any decorative details used at the venue.

Best Man Duties Timeline

Want to be the best best man ever? Of course you do! Nail all your best man tasks with our checklist and timeline to help you stay on track

6 months + before the wedding

• Discuss expectations: Meet with the couple to understand their expectations for your role.
• Plan the stag do: Discuss budget, guest list, activities, and dates with the groom and other groomsmen. Consider booking flights and accommodation if needed (the earlier the better for good deals).
• Go suit shopping: Help the groom and groomsmen choose their outfits (suits, tuxedos, accessories) and schedule fittings for around 4-6 months before the big day.
• Organise a gift for the groom: Decide on a gift idea for the groom from all the groomsmen and collect money around 2-3 months before.
• Prepare your speech: Start brainstorming ideas for the best man speech (ongoing).

1-3 months before the wedding

• Attend the stag do: Execute the epic party weekend around 1-2 months before the wedding.
• Attend rehearsal dinner: Attend the rehearsal dinner and/or pre-wedding gathering if the couple are having one.
• Help with any final logistics or admin: And stay with the groom the night before the wedding!

The wedding day

• Get ready with the groom: Assist the groom with getting dressed and ensure all the groomsmen are ready on time. Leave with plenty of time so you arrive to greet the guests.
• Take care of the rings: Safely keep the wedding rings until they’re needed at the ceremony.
• Support the groom: Be a source of support, calm and positive energy throughout the day. Stand beside him at the altar, participate in wedding traditions and help organise the guests for the photos.
• Deliver your best man speech: Keep it simple, include thank-yous, a few decent jokes, some heartfelt words and close on a high with a toast.
• Help fill the dancefloor: Enjoy the rest of the celebration by encouraging others on the dancefloor and celebrate the happy couple!

Post-wedding

• Clean and return your suit: Offer to do this if your suit was hired.
• Take care of the wedding presents: Collect them from the venue and store them safely until the couple are back from honeymoon, if needed.

Best Man Duties FAQ

How do you choose a best man?

The best man should be someone who holds a significant role in the groom's life, such as a brother or best friend. They should be reliable, supportive and should be someone that will be able to fulfil the duties and responsibilities associated with being a best man – it’s more than just about the title.

Being a best man also involves having a degree of confidence, so make sure you ask someone who you know is up to the task – who will happily stand up and talk, greet guests with a smile and can handle all the admin.

How many best men can a groom have?

Traditionally, a groom has only one best man. However, there is no strict rule about the number of best men a groom can have. Some grooms choose to have multiple best men, especially if they have close friends or siblings they want to honour equally.

Does the best man have to be a man?

No, the best man does not have to be a man! It’s becoming increasingly common for modern couples to break away from traditional gender roles. The best man can be anyone the groom chooses, regardless of gender. They may be referred to as a best woman, a bridesman, or any other title the couple prefers.

How do you ask someone to be the best man? 

Asking someone to be the best man is a significant gesture, and it's essential to do so in a thoughtful and personal manner.

You can ask them directly in person or over the phone, or you could go for a more creative approach, such as presenting them with a small gift. However you choose to do it, be sure to express why you value their friendship and why you want them to stand by your side on your wedding day.

Now you know what your best man duties are, why not get clued up on the bridesmaid duties so you know who is responsible for what…