We don’t want to alarm you, but hopes are high for the best man’s speech. It needs to be funny, engaging and a touch sentimental and you need to start it right to captivate everyone.
We’ve come up with some of the funniest ways to begin a best man’s speech to get you started, but if you need more ideas, be sure to read these ways to begin a wedding speech.
“Hi, I’m [NAME] and it’s time for me to do this speech I scribbled down about an hour before the ceremony started.”
“I must admit, I’m not accustomed to public speaking. Up until I was asked to give this speech I thought a toastmaster was a kind of kitchen appliance!”
“Before I begin, I must admit that [NAME] and [NAME] have asked that I remove anything resembling innuendo from this speech – I’ve promised if I come across anything even slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately.”
READ MORE: What does a best man actually do?
“Hi, I’m [NAME] and in the run up to the wedding many people have asked me how I’ll cope now my best friend is married and will spend all his time at home loved up with his wife. Well, I’m thrilled. I’m finally able to talk to women without him cramping my style!”
“Right, I’d just like to start by laying down a couple of rules. Firstly, if you do have a mobile phone… please, leave it switched on; keep yourselves entertained. And secondly, if anyone texts you any good jokes, could you please forward them to me?”
“My name is [NAME] and it’s an honour to stand here as [GROOM’S NAME]’s best man. I’d like to say it’s a pleasure too, but that won’t be the case until I’ve finished this speech…”
“Hello, I’m [NAME] and I’m here to tell you all about [GROOM’S NAME] and how wonderful, handsome and…sorry, mate, I can’t read your writing.”
“Hi, I’m [NAME] and I’m here to give a speech about [GROOM’S NAME] – but what can I say about him that hasn’t already been a topic on the Jeremy Kyle show?”
READ MORE: How to end your best man’s speech
“My name is [NAME] and I’m the best man. It might have taken X amount of years, but [GROOM’S NAME] has finally admitted I’m the best.”
“My name is [NAME] and [GROOM’S NAME] asked me to be his best man a year ago – although I never actually received a formal invitation to the wedding. Let’s hope I haven’t eaten someone else’s meal by mistake – but more likely, it was [GROOM’S NAME] saving himself the cost of a stamp.”
“I’m the best man and I think I got this role by default as [GROOM’S NAME] doesn’t really have any other friends. I didn’t really want to do it, but I thought it might be the only chance I’ll get to have a meal and some drinks paid for by [GROOM’S NAME] so I didn’t risk turning it down.”
READ MORE: Toasts for the best man
“Hi, I’m the best man and can I start by saying what an emotional day it’s been today? Even the cake is in tiers.”
“My name is [NAME] and I’ve known [GROOM] since we were at school – so we’ve both learnt together what a mullet it as that it wasn’t a good look for either of us.”
“My name is [NAME] and I’ve known [GROOM] since we were at school – yes, I knew him when he still had hair!”
“Hi, I’m the best man and for the speech today, the bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about the groom’s mishaps, mistakes, embarrassing moments or ex-girlfriends. So thanks for listening everyone, that’s all from me!”
READ MORE: The very best best man speech jokes
“To start this speech, I Googled ‘the perfect best man speech’ but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m just going to wing it.”
“I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!”
“We all know [BRIDE’S NAME] is a wonderful woman and deserves the perfect man. Unfortunately, you don’t always get what you deserve.”
“[GROOM’S NAME] is a wonderful, handsome, charismatic man. He’d do anything for anyone. He even wrote this speech for me!”
“I did ask for a microphone but they wouldn’t give me one. So the people at the back, the silence from the guys at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.”
“If you could keep the clapping and cheering to a minimum today – I’ve got a terrible hangover. I know you shouldn’t drink heavily before a big event but I couldn’t let [GROOM’S NAME] drink alone, could I?”
If you want to make your best man’s speech even better, we’ve got 18 tried and test best man jokes that will have everyone laughing!
Top image: Chris Barber Photography