Every mother of the bride wants to help her daughter have the most amazing wedding day ever, and it’s only natural that your mum will want to get involved and lend a hand as much as possible.
But sometimes that enthusiasm spills over into unwanted comments, suggestions and ideas on everything from wedding invitations to the food. That leaves you to navigate the tricky territory of setting them straight again.
Here are the absolute worst things a mother of the bride can say in the run up to your wedding day.
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1. “No self-respecting bride would get married in a barn”
Weddings have changed a lot since your mum’s wedding day, so some new ideas may seem very odd to her. Don’t be discouraged though – you can get married wherever you want and as soon as she sees it, she’ll love it too.
2. “I’m wearing white too!”
The mother of the bride should never wear white, ivory, champagne or anything that may lead to her upstaging the dress it took you months to find!
3. “I’ve invited Sue and Richard from down the road.”
The mother of the bride should always ask you and your partner before inviting extra guests. It also helps if you make it clear (in the nicest possible way) that it’s not her wedding, but yours and therefore your friends should take priority – although if she’s helping with finances you might need to consider inviting them!
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4. “The groom’s mother hasn’t done much, has she?”
Bad-mouthing the groom or any of his family is a big no-no. Behave woman!
5. “But you can’t wear a strapless dress in a church!”
You can wear whatever you want, as long as you feel fantastic in it.
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6. “I really think your cousin Katie should be a bridesmaid.”
Choosing bridesmaids is a job for the bride and the bride alone. Don’t feel pressured into having anyone you’re not comfortable with as you’ll need them to be calm and supportive on your wedding morning.
7. “So what else do we need to do for our wedding?”
It is not our wedding, mother. The wedding belongs to me and my future husband/wife, and if you forget that then expect some politer reminders! If in doubt point your mum towards these handy phrases…
And 3 Things Every Mother of the Bride Should Say:
1. “You look beautiful.”
2. “What can I help with?”
3. “It’ll all be fine.”
Parents have hugely important roles in your big day, but if they’re divorced then knowing how to seat and involve them can be tricky – don’t miss our guide on wedding etiquette for divorced parents.