35 Funny Father of the Bride Speech Jokes

Your father of the bride speech is the perfect opportunity to let your daughter know just how much you love her, but a well-placed gag or two is a great way to ensure it's also entertaining. Cue our list of the best father of the bride speech jokes, to help you get off on the right foot…

“Fortunately for the father of the bride, the pressure to be funny usually sits squarely on the best man’s shoulders. That said, a touch of humour is always a good idea,” says Darren Ruddell, comedy writer and director of Stand Up Speeches.

“This could come in the form of a light-hearted anecdote, perhaps about a mildly embarrassing quirk. Mildly being the key word. Anything that begins with, ‘I accidentally walked into her room one day…’ should be avoided at all costs,” he adds.

So, how do you write a funny father of the bride speech, and what are the best jokes to include? While a few decent jokes are essential, it’s worth remembering that this isn’t a stand-up routine. Thankfully, our guide has all you need to ensure your speech is witty, warm and talked about for all the right reasons.

35 Best Father of the Bride Speech Jokes

Whether you want laugh-out-loud toasts, jokes about marriage or something funny to break the ice, these witty one-liners are certain to garner some smiles and cheers from the crowd. Ahead, our pick of the best father of the bride wedding speech jokes:

• Father of the Bride Speech Funny Opening Lines
• Father of the Bride Speech Jokes About the Bride
• Father of the Bride Speech Jokes About the Groom
• Father of the Bride Speech Jokes About Marriage
• Father of the Bride Speech Funny Closing Lines & Toasts
• Tips For Writing & Delivering Father of the Bride Speech Jokes
• FAQ

Father of the Bride Speech Funny Opening Lines

• Welcome, everyone, to my daughter’s wedding. No matter what papers she may have signed today, I’ll always be the most important man in her life.
• Hello everyone, I’m [name]. I hope you know who I am, but if you don’t, well done for sneaking in to such an expensive meal unnoticed!
• I’ve prepared a hilarious wedding speech… but [mother of the bride] is making me read this one instead.
• To start off my speech, I’ll talk about something everyone in the room has in common – all of your cars have been stolen.
• Today is a really special day. You’re about to witness the first and last time anyone ever trusts me to make a speech.
• I’ve been told by [bride] not to have a drink before the speech, so apologies if I seem in a rush to get to the end!
• Brevity is the soul of wit – as you’ll learn on page 10 of my speech.
• Thank you all for coming, it wouldn’t be the same without you all… it would be a lot cheaper though.
• Giving my daughter away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. We all know, I’m not a generous person.
• I’m sure we can all agree how wonderful – and tasteful – this day has been. I’m sorry to have ended it all here with this speech.
• My daughter has asked that I don’t share anything embarrassing. So… that’s my speech over. Goodnight, folks!
• As you can imagine, I’ve had a lot of trouble getting this speech down to a reasonable length. Thankfully I think I’ve cracked it… [produces a comedically long roll or pile of papers]

Father of the Bride Speech Jokes About the Bride

• I want to truly enjoy the next five minutes, which are also in fact the only five minutes of the day that [bride] has had no control over!
• [Bride] has always brightened up our lives… she never did remember to turn off any of the lights.
• Although we love her very much, we definitely won’t miss listening to her sing in the shower every morning. Good luck, [partner]!
• Funny, intelligent, kind, good-looking… my daughter definitely gets all of those traits from me.
• Our daughter has always been kind and generous. As a child she would happily share the contents of her nappy with everyone she met.

Father of the Bride Speech Jokes About the Groom

• We love our daughter to bits and always hoped she’d marry someone as amazing as she is. Lucky for you, [partner], she’s marrying you first.
• Just remember, [partner], never laugh at a choice my daughter makes. You were one of them, after all!
• [Partner], it’s a huge pleasure to welcome you into our family. Over the years, we’ve come to think of you as the son we never asked for.
• Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly special. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about [partner] wearing a tie.

Father of the Bride Speech Jokes About Marriage

• It’s been said that daughters marry a man similar to their father… [mother of the bride] – why do you look so upset?!
• A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year – Paul Sweeney
• Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener – Anon
• To my new son-in-law, I’ll give you a useful piece of advice – forget your wedding anniversary once and you’ll remember it for the rest of your life.
• I love being married; I do. It’s so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life – Rita Rudner
• [Partner], if you remember that marriage is simply a union in which one person is always right and the other is you, you’ll be fine.
• They say marriage is like wine – it keeps getting better with age so as long as you put a cork in it.
• Whenever you’re wrong, admit it. Whenever you’re right, shut up – Ogden Nash
• Marriage is not just an emotional connection, it’s also about remembering to take the bins out.

Father of the Bride Speech Funny Closing Lines & Toasts

• [Partner], let me leave you with one final piece of advice – my daughter won’t start an argument with you if you’re already cleaning.
• Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage – a good sense of humour and a short memory!
• All you need is love – but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt – Charles Schulz
• I’m going to ask everyone to charge their glasses and – for those who still can – stand and raise and toast to the newlyweds.
• Let’s raise a glass to the happy couple. May your marriage be as strong as the drinks in your hand. Cheers!

Tips For Writing & Delivering Father of the Bride Speech Jokes

When it comes to choosing what you’ll say and delivering those funny lines in your speech, the experts have some tips to share:

Deliver the humour early on

“Don’t waste the first 45 seconds of your wedding speech with dull wedding waffle – instead, try to get a laugh within the first 20 seconds,” advises Heidi Ellert-McDermott, author, speech writer and founder of Speechy.

“Try to avoid the typical Googled gags – these may well elicit a few groans as opposed to laughter," she adds.

"Instead consider starting with some self-deprecating humour, or something like: ‘Writing this speech has been both a joy and incredibly difficult. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reminiscing but fitting all our wonderful memories into a thousand words has proven tricky. That’s why, for those who are interested, I’ll be giving the full, four-hour presentation at the bar later…’

“Alternatively, you could use the wedding planning process and venue as the start to your joke: ‘Welcome to [venue’s name] everyone. I love this place. But before we booked it, I did suggest another. Strange thing was, when we shared the guest list with them, they said they had no availability… for a decade. [Best man], I’m blaming you!’”

From that point, Heidi suggests aiming for a smile every 20 seconds, until the final minute of your speech when you can afford to be more sentimental.

Find those funny anecdotes

It’s the easiest way to include humour, particularly if you’re not confident about creating – or delivering – punchlines.

“A one-liner can be a brilliant opener if you can deliver it well. Unfortunately it’s not as easy as it looks,” says Darren. “If you’re someone who openly admits you can’t tell jokes, steer clear of those. There are plenty of safer laughs to be found in well-told everyday stories.”

“Lots of dads make the mistake of telling the story of their daughter’s life and listing her various achievements over the years, but the truth is, a few good anecdotes will give a better insight into her character as well as being more entertaining,” adds Heidi.

Share the load

You know the saying, ‘it takes a village’? Well, that can apply to funny dad wedding speeches too! “Get the whole family together to brainstorm ideas,” suggests Heidi. “Your daughter’s mother and siblings will always have extra content.

“Try to pin down your daughter’s unique personality traits – forgetful, loud determined – and then hunt down the stories that show these qualities in action.”

Consider using quotes

“If you’re really struggling to add humour, you could consider using funny quotes about marriage in your father of the bride speech,” says Heidi. “Quoting other people is much better than resorting to a generic gag you claim credit for, and there’s lots of witty marriage advice out there from comedians, authors or even philosophers depending on the tone you’re going for.”

Practise whenever you can

You know the saying, it makes perfect. “Confidence builds when you know the speech inside out,” adds Darren. “Even then, always bring two printed copies with you on the day. The more familiar you are with your speech, the more relaxed your delivery will be, and the more natural your pacing and flow.”

Keep smiling

“If you look like you’re enjoying it, others will to,” says Heidi. “Feel free to laugh at your own jokes – it’s literally infectious – and leave pauses where you expect laughter, so people have time to get the joke!

“Definitely don’t start talking over any laughter before it’s subsided – and remember, you’ve worked hard for it, so soak it up and don’t let the audience miss a single line of your masterpiece.

“Try to look and engage with the newlyweds throughout, keep eye contact with your audience as much as possible and use facial expressions,” she adds. “A cheeky raise of an eyebrow or gesturing quotation marks can add just as much laughter as a great line can.”

Consider hiring a pro

If you’re really stumped, a professional speechwriter will help you gather your thoughts and anecdotes and put them into a coherent structure.

“As a speechwriter, I’m bound to say that having great material is the best confidence booster,” says Darren. “As a rule, if I send a client a draft and they laugh, it’s usually safe to assume others will too.

“At the very least, get someone to read your speech. If they laugh, others likely will. If they don’t laugh at all… well, that’s a good reason to hire me!”

FAQ

How can I make my father of the bride speech funny?

The funniest father of the bride speeches will feature a balance of sentiment and humour. Remember, it doesn’t have to be a whole comedy routine, but a few speech jokes here and there can bring it to life if you feel confident delivering them.

Otherwise, well-crafted stories or memories of your daughter are probably the easiest way to naturally get a laugh, or perhaps end your speech with some entertaining marriage advice. 

Can I tell jokes about my daughter’s new husband?

It can be fine to poke fun at your daughter’s new husband with some jokes in your father of the bride speech if you know both newlyweds will take it well – but tread carefully, keep it gentle and don’t spend too long doing so. That’s the best man’s job, after all. 

A story about your first meeting or how nervous he was when he asked for your daughter’s hand in marriage could work and shows your relationship is on a firm footing, otherwise, it’s important to save your words for your daughter.

What jokes should I avoid in a wedding speech?

It goes without saying that anything which features crude language, negativity or in-jokes that excludes the majority of your audience is a big no-no, but you should also never say anything that might embarrass the bride or make her the butt of the joke. That includes stories of exes and other things you know she’d rather you didn’t share.

“My advice: keep the speech focused on your daughter, and keep it warm,” adds Darren.

How many jokes should I include in my father of the bride speech?

Five to 10 minutes is a good length of time for a father of the bride speech – more than that and it becomes a monologue. Aim for a smile every 20-30 seconds but remember, that can come in the form of a story or anecdote – not necessarily a punchline. Break the ice with a gag at the start and finish with some warm but jokey marriage advice. 

What’s a good one-liner to start a father of the bride speech?

We’ve got a whole host of father of the bride toasts that are funny and witty in equal measure. Just ensure you feel confident delivering them!

Hungry for more? Our guide on how to give a good father of the bride speech will have you ready to perform in no time!