Here at Hitched we don’t really like the word ‘bridezilla’. Because actually, planning a wedding is pretty bloody stressful.
Try telling someone to organise a dinner party that lasts 14-odd hours for 120 of their ‘closest’ friends – some of whom they’ve never even met (Dad’s second cousin from America that is suddenly a ‘high priority guest’ who would be ‘devastated’ not to be invited), many of whom suddenly are the fussiest eaters ever, and guaranteeing no one will be bored. We bet you they would not take on that challenge.
So it does grate on us a little bit when bridal stresses are referred to as bridezilla moments. We can help you avoid being a bridezilla, but we also thought it’d make sense to round up some bridezilla moments that are totally legit – if anyone drops the ‘B’ word around you, send them our way!
It’s Fine to be Fussy
“There’s a big difference between being a bridezilla (a term I hate!) and knowing what you want” says editor of Hitched, Caroline, “I’m not angry or stressed, I’m just particular.” And this is a mantra for the super organised bride. There is nothing wrong with asking (we’re not ‘demanding’) to see the white, off white, ivory, off ivory, oyster and porcelain table linen samples – in person – just to see which one coordinates with your dress properly. It’s just practical.
It’s Not Fine for the Guests to be Fussy
You can be fussy. It’s your wedding and you’re footing the bill. But when your guest – who you only invited to appease your partner’s mum – requests a gluten-free, paleo option with no onions and only organic seasoning because she’s read an article and is trying a new lifestyle, it’s completely fine to grit your teeth to their face and unleash a torrent of abuse behind their back. Fair enough if it’s an actual health issue, but a new diet does not warrant another call to the caterers.
About Those Calls to the Caterer
So you have your wedding suppliers on speed dial? So what? You’ve got the people you call most on speed dial, so it makes sense they’re all on there. And you call your florist regularly to let her know you’ve emailed her about the updates you’ve made on your shared ‘Wedding Flower Ideas’ Pinterest board – it’s nice of you to help her do her job!
The caterer must love it when you text them ideas you’ve seen on Masterchef – they’ll feel so avant garde prepping your wedding menu. All that deconstructed stuff. And that time you asked them to send pictures of the crockery and cutlery they planned on using – yes, you were being serious. Don’t they know creating a wedding atmosphere is a hot wedding trend for 2016? These are essentials.
Those Essentials Are Essentials
Honestly. If your partner rolls his eyes one more time about the build-up of ‘essential wedding accessories’ in the wedding room (formerly known as the spare room), you’re totally justified in threatening to postpone the wedding. That’ll show him, as marrying you right now is the ultimate goal. Why can’t he accept your wedding won’t be anything without your ombre pom-poms with a subtle glitter edge? They are NOT a waste of money.
There is a Dress Code, Yes
How many times do you need to drop into conversation with your sister-in-law-to-be that there’s a dress code and it’s basically ‘don’t you dare wear that white dress, I don’t care how good it looks on you or what great value it was.’ Seriously. She thinks you’re joking about the bin bag ‘dress of shame’ you’ve fashioned for anyone who wears white. She knows nothing.
You’re Always Prepared
Don’t people realise that you need colour coordinated wedding confetti, and enough for two handfuls for all the guests in case the first confetti shot goes wrong? It’s not being a bridezilla. It’s forward planning. Now, can you justify enough money in the budget for a backup wedding cake in case your crumbles too much as you cut the first slice, and it looks messy in the picture? Why had you not even considered this before? It’s time to call the cake maker with another question…
Your Bridesmaids Have Done What?
Your bridesmaids don’t even know how lucky they are. You could have interviewed them for the role and then some of them definitely wouldn’t have got it. Not naming names. But they’ve got the job now and if they want to avoid an Alan Sugar-worthy firing from you, they need to behave. It is definitely not bridezilla to freak if your bestie goes for Kylie Jenner-inspired green mermaid hair two weeks before your wedding. And no, emo cousin, you may not wear black nail varnish. End of discussion.
If you are at the Alan Sugar stage – take a deep breath. We’ve got tips for handling a bad bridesmaid.
And Talking of Emo…
Pale and interesting isn’t an option for your wedding. Everyone is going to have a tan and it’ll be a fun bonding session for us all, having spray tans together. It makes the dresses look better. And could you grow your fringe out a little? The bridesmaid vision involves sweeping, side fringes. Cheers!
Your Strict New Regime
Doesn’t your mum understand you’re on a strict pre-wedding diet? You’re sugar-free now! It’s basically sabotage when she offers you a biscuit to go with your organic, de-caf green tea (that comes in an unbleached bag, obviously). Does she hate you suddenly or something? It’s totally fine to regress to your 13-year old self and wail ‘Muuum, you’re ruining my lifeee’ as you walk out.
Your Partner Doesn’t Seem as Excited
You jumped up and down when your hand-cut, sparkly aisle runner made from 700 stars finally arrived. Your partner simply said ‘great.’ Does he not understand what a big deal this is? Why isn’t he on the cusp of welling up like you? Can’t he feel your emotion? This is not just an aisle runner, darling, this is the path to our destiny, our shared future, our dream come true. Why are you walking off? Come back, I’m not finished!
About Those Emotional Moments
They’re happening more and more often, and they are not bridezilla related, thank you very much. This is your chance to create a vision, to bring your dream to life – and marry the love of your life too. And show everyone what a great host you are. And look amazing in your dress and dance like Beyoncé. It’s all so much. We’re welling up again. You just don’t understand.
Who knew getting married involved so much paperwork? No, we’re not talking about changing your name or actually booking your registrar. We’re on about all the PDFs you’ve printed off. From a free printable of your wedding hashtag, to the ultimate wedding song playlist, you’ve got them all and you’ve scanned them to your suppliers and pinned up a spare copy on the wedding wall (in the wedding room). There’s also another copy in your wedding binder – just in case of a fire. Trying to pin your other half down to go through the wedding wall is proving to be a challenge though…but your presentation is ready for when they are.
What Does a Wedding-Free Night Mean?
And why is everyone suddenly asking for them? Do they not realise this is the biggest day of your life, and their life too, and dinner at Pizza Express is the perfect chance to check with your BFF that she knows exactly what moment in the song she has to start her walk down the aisle to. And what did she mean, it was embarrassing that you asked the staff to play your wedding playlist there so you could re-enact it? Is she not taking this seriously or something?
Don’t Disrupt the Table Plan
Your sister has been talking about breaking up with her boyfriend. It’s six weeks until your wedding and the table plan has been printed. It’s not unreasonable to ask her to stick it out until after then is it? It saves messing up your wedding table plan, you know he’s excited for the day and who knows! Seeing a couple as loved up as you two might make her reassess her decision.
Does Everyone Know the Rules?
It makes you concerned when your guests laugh off the concept of wedding guest rules. It’s basic etiquette right? And we’re totally on board with the idea of printing out your wedding guest rules and including them as inserts in your invitations. There are no excuses then!
Talking of wedding guests, we’ve got a guide to the 11 types of guest to expect at your wedding. Take notes and make sure you’re prepared…