Do you find yourself stressing over whether your ivory chair covers won’t quite match up to your off-white table cloths? Have you found yourself getting teary and stressed with your partner because they haven’t committed to the table plan as fully as you have? It could be possible you’ve come over a tiny bit bridezilla. It’s tough to be calm about one of the biggest days of your life, but we’ve come up with nine ways to help you breathe and avoid the dreaded bridezilla syndrome.
However, if you feel totally justified in your rage, don't miss our 15 bridezilla moments that are totally legit.
If you're still feeling stressed after reading this, looking at pictures of dogs at weddings might help to calm you down...
Think – Does it Really Matter?
It’s good to get some perspective. Is it really as much of an issue as you think it is – the table cloth and chair covers being slightly different shades of white doesn’t really matter. Whereas a bridesmaid who isn’t pulling her weight is a bit more of an issue.
Think back to weddings you’ve been to in the past – can you remember the specific thing that is bothering you at someone else’s big day? It’s likely you wouldn’t notice variations in the colour scheme or the wrong shape of cake as a guest. If it is something more serious, like a bad bridesmaid, read our guide to handling a bad bridesmaid for more advice.
Take Deep Breaths
If a supplier isn’t being as flexible as you like or the venue has strict rules in place which affect your vision of the day, pause and take deep breaths. It is frustrating but some things can’t be changed so you will have to take a step back and explore new options, whether that’s tweaking your décor ideas or looking at alternative suppliers.
Don’t Do Too Much Research
This might sound like an odd one, but if you’re spending all your spare time on Pinterest you could be focusing too much on the details. You can easily overwhelm yourself in a perfect Pinterest world where everything is so artfully rustic or perfectly vintage. A lot of the time you’re actually looking at expensive styled shoots which are almost impossible to recreate and will cause you stress. Pick something because you like it, and resist the urge to have 17 differently themed wedding boards on the go at once.
Don’t Be Scared to Delegate
Eek – if you’re a super organised control freak and you pride yourself on your ability to make things happen, this can be tough. But sometimes it helps to have help. There’s only so much you can do yourself, so don’t be afraid to lean on your partner, friends or family for help. It could be a fun girls’ night in for you and your bridesmaids if you arrange to get everyone together to do some wedding DIY. It will help you and your friends will enjoy being involved.
Involve Your Partner
This goes hand in hand with the point above. Don’t think about the wedding as ‘my day’. Think about it as ‘our day’. The whole reason you are having a wedding is to celebrate your relationship and subsequent marriage with your partner, so don’t shoulder all the decisions on your own and then feel resentful they’re not as involved as you’d like. Even if involving them only results in them saying ‘I don’t mind, you choose’, at least you sort of have an opinion from them…
Have a Sense of Humour
It can be so frustrating when things go to plan, but learn to smile about it. Whenever something goes wrong, try to see it as a funny future anecdote – it will be amusing someday. And if you feel like everyone you’ve ever met is suddenly cropping up to give you unsolicited wedding advice, practise your best smile and nod, or be a bit mischievous and have funny answers prepared, whether it’s people moaning about the menu choices, the distance to travel or whatever else they want to pick on.
We have a round up of the best wedding e-cards for when you need some sarcastic wedding humour...
If you’re finding the planning stressful or overwhelming, treat yourself. It’s a hard job to balance your day to day life and relationships and plan a huge party that lasts most of the day for around one hundred people. Most people feel a bit anxious throwing a dinner party, so it’s only natural to feel stressed sometimes. Organise a spa day with your maid of honour, or have a DVD day with your partner to unwind.
Take a Wedding Time Out
Make a rule, such as ‘at mealtimes we don’t talk about the wedding’ or have a night once a week where you have dinner together – even if it’s just fajitas at home – and you ban all wedding talk. It can become consuming and you need to remember there’s more to your relationship than your wedding.
Your Day, Not Your Way
Don’t buy into the myth that it’s ‘your day, your way’. Yes it’s your wedding and you can plan it how you’d like, but it doesn’t automatically mean you can have your way with everything and it will all go to plan.
Sometimes practicalities get in the way, and sometimes it’s just someone else’s turn to have their way. We’ve all been told by our parents at some point: “You can’t always have your own way.” It pays to remember this if not everything is going exactly how you want it – and you never know, if you let your partner have his own way about some of the things, you might enjoy them more than you think. Unless it’s streaming the football during the wedding breakfast.
Just because the world seems to expect you to behave like a bridezilla as you plan your wedding, it doesn’t mean you have to do it. Focus on the fact you’re marrying the person you love – your wedding is just a party to celebrate that at the end of the day. Take care of yourself and don’t get too stressed – we have a great guide to wedding fitness to help you manage your well-being as you plan your big day.