Do you find yourself stressing over your ivory chair covers not quite matching your cream table cloths? Or getting teary with your partner because they aren't as committed to table planning as you? It could be possible you’ve come over a tiny bit bridezilla.
READ MORE: 8 Annoying Things Your Guest WILL Do On Your Big Day
It’s tough to be calm about one of the biggest days of your life. Very few brides are lucky enough to be seasoned event planners; the rest of us are putting on dinner and entertainment for 100 people without the foggiest idea where to start. No wonder you get stressed.
If you're worried you're turning into a bridezilla, we've come up with a quiz to test your bridezilla status.
And there's no problem if you discover you are in full bridezilla mode. (In fact, if you feel totally justified in your rage, don't miss our 15 bridezilla moments that are totally legit!) You can ease yourself back from the edge with our nine simple steps that re-focus on what the day's really about, calm you down and help you accept when things go wrong.
Quiz: Are You a Bridezilla?
(You might need to turn your phone on your side if you're looking at this on mobile.)
READ MORE: 18 Arguments Every Couple Will Have During Wedding Planning
9 Ways to Avoid Being a Bridezilla
The first thing to say is that it's easy for other people to dismiss your behaviour as "bridezilla" when in fact it's a symptom of extreme stress or anxiety. We spoke to experts at mental health charities Mind and Anxiety UK to find out those symptoms, plus how to cope with wedding day stress and how to plan a wedding when you have anxiety.
If you think that you're just letting the wedding planning get on top of you, then these nine tips can really help calm you down and put the day in perspective.
1. Think: Does it Really Matter?
It’s good to get some perspective. Is it really as much of an issue as you think it is? A slightly different shades of white for your candles to your tablecloth doesn’t really matter, whereas a bridesmaid who isn’t pulling her weight is a bit more of an issue.
READ MORE: The 16 Types of Bridesmaid You'll Encounter
Think back to weddings you’ve been to in the past. It’s likely you wouldn’t notice variations in the colour scheme or the wrong shape of cake as a guest. If it really is something more serious, like a bad bridesmaid, then you can take steps to rectify it.
2. Take Some Deep Breaths
If a supplier isn’t being as flexible as you like or the venue has strict rules in place which affect your vision of the day, pause and take deep breaths. It is frustrating but some things can’t be changed so you will have to take a step back and explore new options, whether that’s tweaking your décor ideas or looking at alternative suppliers.
3. Delete a Few Pinterest Boards
This might sound like an odd one, but if you’re spending all your spare time on Pinterest you could be focusing too much on the details. In a perfect Pinterest world where everything is so artfully rustic or perfectly vintage, you can easily overwhelm yourself. A lot of the time you’re actually looking at expensive styled shoots which are almost impossible to recreate and will cause you stress. Pick something because you like it, and resist the urge to have 17 differently themed wedding boards on the go at once.
READ MORE: 7 Things That Will Probably Go Wrong At Your Wedding
4. Don’t Be Scared to Delegate
Eek! If you’re a super organised control freak and you pride yourself on your ability to make things happen, this can be tough. But sometimes it helps to have help. There’s only so much you can do yourself, so don’t be afraid to lean on your partner, friends or family for help. It could be a fun girls’ night in for you and your bridesmaids if you arrange to get everyone together to do some wedding DIY. It will help you and your friends will enjoy being involved.
5. Involve Your Partner
Image: Blue Lily Weddings
This goes hand in hand with the above. Don’t think about the wedding as ‘my day’. Think about it as ‘our day’. The whole reason you are having a wedding is to celebrate your relationship and subsequent marriage with your partner, so don’t shoulder all the decisions on your own and then feel resentful they’re not as involved as you’d like. Even if involving them only results in them saying ‘I don’t mind, you choose’, at least you sort of have an opinion from them…
READ MORE: 19 Infuriating Things People Say During Wedding Planning
6. Think of the Future Anecdotes
It can be so frustrating when things don't go to plan, but learn to laugh about it. Whenever something goes wrong, try to see it as a funny future anecdote – it will be amusing someday.
And if you feel like everyone you’ve ever met is suddenly cropping up to give you unsolicited wedding advice, practise your best smile and nod. Alternatively, be a bit mischievous and have funny answers prepared, whether it’s people moaning about the menu choices, the distance to travel or whatever else they want to pick on.
We've rounded up 47 sassy memes and the best wedding e-cards for when you need some sarcastic wedding humour...
7. Treat Yourself
If you’re finding the planning stressful or overwhelming, treat yourself. It’s a hard job to balance your day-to-day life and relationships and plan a huge party that lasts most of the day for around 100 people.
READ MORE: 13 Things That Happen to Every Bride After Getting Engaged
Most people feel a bit anxious throwing a dinner party, so it’s only natural to feel stressed sometimes. Organise a spa day with your maid of honour, or have a DVD day with your partner to unwind.
8. Take a Wedding Time Out
Make a rule, such as, ‘At mealtimes we don’t talk about the wedding’, or have a night once a week where you have dinner together – even if it’s just fajitas at home – and you ban all wedding talk. It can become consuming and you need to remember there’s more to your relationship than your wedding.
9. Listen To Your Partner's Ideas
Yes, it’s your wedding and you can plan it how you’d like, but it doesn’t automatically mean you can have your way with everything and it will all go to plan. Sometimes practicalities get in the way, and sometimes it’s just someone else’s turn to have their way.
READ MORE: 17 Thoughts Every Groom Has During Wedding Planning
Communication is so important to avoid arguments with your partner, which means being open to listening to their ideas (and implementing some!). Even if you only do a few small things they suggest, they'll feel heard. You never know, if you let your partner have their own way about some of the things, you might enjoy them more than you think. Unless it’s streaming the football during the wedding breakfast.
If you need to be in control so much you couldn't possibly imagine this, then ask their opinion on something that gives them the illusion of having a say. Know you're having a gin cocktail as your welcome drink? Ask them to decide between elderflower or lemon. Either will work great.
Just because the world seems to expect you to behave like a bridezilla as you plan your wedding, it doesn’t mean you have to do it. Focus on the fact you’re marrying the person you love; your wedding is just a party to celebrate that at the end of the day.
READ MORE: The 39 Emotional Stages of Planning a Wedding
A great way to keep your well-being in check ahead of the wedding is exercise. We've got a great wedding fitness routine that might be perfect to help burn off extra tension.