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Ask Elektra: Being a Bridesmaid is Taking Over My Life - Help!

In this month's drag-ony aunt column, a bridesmaid in distress asks Aunty Elektra how to cope with bridesmaid-related stress

Ask Elektra drag-ony aunt branded hero image

Ask Elektra drag-ony aunt branded hero image

We've teamed up with the fabulous Elektra Fence to be our Hitched Drag-ony Aunt. As Elektra plans her own wedding, she's also on hand to help you with all your wedding planning problems. This month she helps a bridesmaid who feels like being a bridesmaid is taking over her life. Aunty Elektra is on hand with her best advice...

Read Elektra's previous column, where she advises how to get a proposal, here!

Dear Aunty Elektra,

Being a bridesmaid is taking over my life. I’m expected to go to (and organise!) so many events - dress shopping sessions, afternoon teas, a bridal shower, a hen do and more, and I’m sick of it. 

I feel like my hair is falling out from the stress - what can I do?!


A bridesmaid in distress

Dear Bridesmaid in Distress,

Oh darling, it’s bound to be stressful - trust me, I’m experiencing wedding planning first hand and it’s taking its toll, but at least I know at the end of it it’s all about me (and my lovely other half, of course). 

The bridesmaid duties tend to include a lot of heavy lifting, then on the day you stand back as your friend gets all the glory - it takes a very patient gal to be a good bridesmaid!

Try and remember you’ve been chosen for a special reason - the bride obviously likes you! Unless you’re her partner’s relative and she’s been pressured to ask you. But I’m sure she likes you for you, hunny!

Here are a few pointers to get you through the months leading up to the wedding:

  • Go all out on the hen - make the hen do as tacky as you can. I’m talking hen party sashes, hen party t-shirts - everyone loves a bit of tack and it’s low-lift and easy for you. Don’t take on more than you can with a ridiculous hen party theme
  • Always look busy - no matter what the event, if you need a bit of a break, pretend to be on the phone organising a surprise for the bride, adjust the table settings, squint into the distance and say, ‘OMG, I told your mother-in-law NOT to do that’ and run off. 
  • Last but not least - just try to enjoy it - it won’t last forever and you’ve got the chance to party more than usual. 

You can count down to the wedding and your bestie will appreciate your enthusiasm, just don’t let on that you’re counting down til it’s all over!

Kiss kiss,


Got a question for Aunty Elektra? Keep an eye on our Instagram page for her question box! In the meantime, if you feel like being a bridesmaid is causing you stress, read up on the things that annoy bridesmaids - plus how to manage them!