How to Have a Feminist Wedding

Planning a feminist wedding doesn’t mean abandoning tradition - it means reshaping your celebration to reflect your values, your voice, and your version of love. 

Whether you’re looking for feminist wedding ideas, wondering what a feminist wedding ceremony looks like, or asking “can you have a feminist wedding and still wear a white dress?” - we’ve got you covered.

This guide explores how to create a feminist wedding that centres equality, challenges outdated traditions, and celebrates the uniqueness of your partnership.

A Guide to Having a Feminist Wedding

• What is a feminist wedding?
• Can you do traditional things at a feminist wedding?
• Feminist wedding ceremony ideas
• Feminist wedding vows
• Sample feminist ceremony script
• Feminist wedding readings
• Do feminists wear wedding rings?

What is a feminist wedding?

A feminist wedding is one that prioritises equality, consent, and personal choice. 

It’s about challenging the patriarchal roots of many wedding traditions and creating a day that celebrates both partners authentically.

That might look like:

• Writing your own vows
• Walking down the aisle together
• Ditching gendered wedding roles (no more ‘bride’s side’ and ‘groom’s side’)
• Having a celebrant officiate a feminist wedding ceremony
• Including feminist wedding readings by women, queer voices or activists
• Being intentional with the wedding vendors you hire

And no - it doesn’t mean you can’t wear a white dress or take your partner’s name if that’s what you want.

Can you have a feminist wedding and still do traditional things?

You can absolutely include traditional wedding elements at your feminist wedding. 

Feminism is about choice, not rules. The key is to be intentional about why you’re including a tradition - are you doing it because it holds meaning for you, or because it’s expected?

For example:

• Wearing a veil? Great - but know its symbolism and reclaim it on your terms.
• Taking a partner’s surname? Fine - but only if it’s not assumed or pressured.
• Having a father "give you away"? Consider reframing it as a symbolic walk, or inviting both parents to join you.

Feminist Wedding Ceremony Ideas

A feminist wedding ceremony puts your relationship and values front and centre. Here are some ways to make it your own:

• Collaborative Vows: Write your own vows together or echo each other’s commitments.
• Inclusive Language: Choose a feminist wedding ceremony script that avoids outdated language like “man and wife” or “obey.”
• Non-Gendered Roles: Anyone can give a speech, carry the rings, or be in your wedding party - gender doesn't need to define roles.
• Shared Entrances: Walk in together or meet halfway - it’s your journey, after all.
• Personal Rituals: From tree-planting to handfasting, include meaningful gestures that feel authentic to your story.

Feminist Wedding Vows

Vows are one of the most powerful opportunities to speak from the heart - and flip the script on outdated ideas. A feminist approach might involve:

• Commitments to mutual support, growth and respect
• Removing traditional vows that aren't equal, such as the promise 'to obey'
• Equal partnership at home, in parenting, in life
• Space for humour, honesty and individuality
• A rejection of ownership-based language (“you’re mine”)

A Sample Feminist Wedding Ceremony Script

If you're looking for ways to make your wedding ceremony feel more feminist, our feminist wedding ceremony script can help - feel free to adapt this to suit your needs:

Welcome & Opening Words

"Welcome, everyone. We’re gathered here today to celebrate the partnership of [Partner 1] and [Partner 2] - two individuals who are choosing, freely and intentionally, to walk through life side by side. Today is not the beginning of their journey, but a moment to pause, reflect and affirm the love and equality that anchors their relationship."

Acknowledgement of Guests

"This celebration is made all the more meaningful because you’re here - friends, chosen family, blood family, and loved ones who have shaped who [Partner 1] and [Partner 2] are. Your support, love, and presence mean the world, and we thank you for witnessing and sharing in this commitment."

Reflection on Partnership/Marriage

"Marriage, in its truest form, is not about roles, expectations or ownership. It’s about mutual respect, shared growth, and choosing each other every day. [Partner 1] and [Partner 2] are here to honour a relationship built on equality - where both voices are heard, both hearts are held, and both individuals remain whole while walking together."

Readings (Optional)

"[Partner 1] and [Partner 2] would like to invite [NAME] to give a reading. They have chosen [reading name] as it aligns with their values, vision for the future and feelings for each other."

Vows

At this point, led by the celebrant, the couple can read their vows to each other.

Exchange of Rings 

"Rings are not symbols of ownership, but of commitment. Circles, like love, have no end. As you place the rings, you make a promise: not to complete each other, but to walk beside one another, always."

What to say while giving your partner their ring: “I give you this ring as a symbol of my respect, my commitment, and my belief in us.”

Declaration

"By the love you share, and the promises you’ve made in the presence of those who support you, I’m delighted to declare you life partners. You may kiss, cheer, or high five - whatever suits your style!"

Closing Words

"May your relationship continue to be rooted in equality, friendship and joy. Go forward in love - fiercely, freely, and entirely as yourselves."

Feminist Wedding Readings

Looking for feminist wedding readings that resonate with your values? Consider quotes and poems from powerful writers, activists and thinkers who speak to equality and love on equal terms. Here are a few favourites:

• “Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment” - bell hooks
• “Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner. It feels limitless, not limited.” - Gloria Steinem
• “If you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it. I had a life partner who thought my work was as important as his, and I think that made all the difference for me.” Ruth Bader Ginsburg
• “The most important career choice you'll make is who you marry. I have an awesome husband, and we're 50/50.” - Sheryl Sandberg
• “Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.” - bell hooks
• “Fall in love with yourself, with life, and then with whoever you want.” - Frida Kahlo
• “I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. And I want someone to share me, with me.” - Eartha Kitt
• “It’s important to marry somebody who is your equal and to marry somebody and to be with somebody who wants you to win as much as you want them to win.” - Michelle Obama
• “On the day when it will be possible for woman to love not in her weakness but in strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert herself - on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of life and not of mortal danger” - Simone de Beauvoir
• “We do not have to love. We choose to love" - bell hooks

You can also include your own words - use one of the quotes above as a jumping off point if you need too, but the more it reflects you, the better.

Do feminists wear wedding rings?

Of course - if they want to. Rings can symbolise love and commitment, but they don’t have to represent ownership.

Some couples buy rings together, wear matching bands, or forgo rings entirely. Feminism is about making informed, empowered choices - not following or rejecting traditions blindly.

How to Have a Feminist Wedding

The most feminist wedding you can have is one where you both feel seen, heard, and represented. It’s not about rejecting romance or tradition - it’s about doing things on your terms. 

So go ahead: write your own script, challenge the norm, and make it a day that celebrates love, equality and joy. Don't miss our guide to the wedding traditions you can skip.