50 Funny Wedding Vows & Ideas to Guarantee Laughs
Add a little humour into your ceremony by taking inspiration from these funny wedding vows that are guaranteed to get your partner and guests laughing
Your wedding vows are some of the most meaningful promises you’ll ever make - but that doesn’t mean they can’t also be funny, clever, and full of personality. In fact, funny wedding vows often make for the most heartfelt and memorable ceremonies of all.
If you're after some help writing the perfect funny wedding speech, try exploring the selection of skilled speechwriters available at Hitched - or keep reading for expert tips on how to write your own hilarious vows!
Whether you’re known for your quick wit or just want to lighten the mood, adding a little humour to your wedding vows can make your ceremony feel more personal - and a lot more fun.
Funny Wedding Vows: Why Choose Them?
Love is serious business… but laughter is what keeps it alive. Including funny vows in a wedding ceremony can:
- Break the tension if you’re feeling emotional or nervous
- Reflect your real, everyday relationship (not just the Instagram version!)
- Get your guests laughing and fully engaged
- Balance heartfelt emotion with genuine fun
As Celebrant Emma Lea puts it, “Funny wedding vows should be fun to write as well as fun on the big day! If you and your partner aren't keeping them secret why not spend an evening brainstorming over a bottle of wine? You can reminisce over the hilarious anecdotes you've collected over the years, discuss all your little in-jokes and figure out which are suitable for public consumption!
"My top tip would be to start your vows with humour and then become a little more sentimental as they continue. This usually hits the spot for the perfect blend of humour and sincerity.”
If you're not sure where to start, skip to the section you need using the links below.
- Funny & Hilarious Wedding Vows
- Witty & Clever Wedding Vows
- Pop Culture-Inspired Wedding Vows
- Unique & Personalised Funny Wedding Vows
- How to Make Funny Wedding Vows Work
- Sweet & Silly Joke Wedding Vows to Inspire You
- Funny Wedding Vows: Expert Advice
Types of Funny Wedding Vows
Not all funny marriage vows are created equal! Here are some of the most popular styles - complete with examples and ideas to help you craft your own.
Funny & Hilarious Wedding Vows
Go all in with laugh-out-loud hilarious wedding vows that’ll have your guests in stitches.
1. “I promise to always love you, even when you steal the duvet, the last slice of pizza, and my phone charger.”
2. “I promise to always laugh at your jokes... eventually.”
3. “I promise to support your dreams, even the one about starting a llama farm.”
4. “I promise to comfort you when your football team loses... again.”
5. “I promise to love you even as you scroll endlessly through Netflix without picking anything.”
- Hitched tip: Big laughs work best when balanced with tenderness. Follow a silly line with a sincere one - humour first, heart second.
Witty & Clever Wedding Vows
Witty wedding vows are all about wordplay, subtle humour, and clever nods to your relationship quirks.
6. “I promise to learn to load the dishwasher to your very exact specifications.”
7. “I vow to always let you have the last jelly baby.”
8. “I promise that when I say ‘I do’, I also mean the dishes, too.”
9. “I promise to embrace your weird habits, even when you eat peanut butter out of the jar.”
- Hitched tip: These vows start with playful in-jokes that are both personal and easy for your guests to understand.
Pop Culture-Inspired Wedding Vows
10. Love movies, music, or TV? Pop culture references make fantastic comical wedding vows, they’re instantly relatable and show off your shared interests.
11. From The Wedding Singer: “I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad, carry you around when your arthritis is bad, all I wanna do is grow old with you.”
12. From New Girl: Cece: “I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth and constant mispronunciation of common words.”
13. From The Big Bang Theory: Bernadette: “Like you, this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever.”
14. From The Vow: “To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.”
- Hitched tip: Don’t be afraid to steal a line or two - just make sure it feels you. A pop culture quote can be the perfect intro or closing line to your unique wedding vows.
Unique & Personalised Funny Wedding Vows
No two relationships are alike - so your unique wedding vow examples should reflect your quirks, habits, and shared stories.
15. “I promise to take as many Instagram-worthy pictures of you as you want in public, no matter how many people are watching.”
16. “I promise to always notice when you get your hair cut.”
17. “I promise to get rid of spiders, even though I’m more scared than you.”
18. “I promise not to take my hanger out on you (even when I really, really want to).”
- Hitched tip: The key to unique and humorous vows is to be authentic!
How to Make Funny Wedding Vows Work
Humour is subjective, so a few tips will help your funny vows for a wedding ceremony land perfectly:
- Start funny, end heartfelt. Open with a laugh, close with love.
- Keep it kind. Tease, don’t roast - avoid jokes that might embarrass your partner or guests.
- Make it personal. The best humorous wedding vows are the ones that could only come from you two.
- Read the room. If your crowd is traditional, keep it PG.
- Practise your delivery. Timing and tone matter! Pause for laughs, smile, and enjoy it.
Emma's advice is to remember, “Wedding vows can absolutely be funny but it's important not to overdo it, remember you aren't a stand up comic! The key is to aim for playful but genuine and avoid any jokes that may come across as mean spirited.”
Sweet & Silly Joke Wedding Vows to Inspire You
Need a few more giggle-worthy lines? Try these silly wedding vows and joke wedding vows for inspiration:
19. “I promise to always pause Netflix when you want to talk through the entire episode.”
20. “I promise not to go over budget ever again - this wedding was enough!”
21. “I promise to open jars for you and pretend you loosened it first.”
22. “I promise to share my fries, even when I said I didn’t want any.”
23. “I promise to agree that you’re the best driver on the road.”
24. “I promise to always take your side when our kids gang up on us.”
25. “I promise to defend you every time my parents call you weird.”
26. “I promise to refill the toilet roll, occasionally.”
27. “I promise to always laugh at your jokes, even the ones that don’t land.”
28. “I promise to wear this ring as a symbol of our love… and try not to lose it at the gym.”
29. “I promise to always pause Netflix when you want to talk through the entire episode.”
30. “I promise not to go over budget ever again — this wedding was enough!”
31. “I promise to open jars for you and pretend you loosened it first.”
32. “I promise to share my fries, even when I said I didn’t want any.”
33. “I promise to agree that you’re the best driver on the road.”
34. “I promise to always take your side when our kids gang up on us.”
35. “I promise to defend you every time my parents call you weird.”
36. “I promise to refill the toilet roll — occasionally.”
37. “I promise to always laugh at your jokes, even the ones that don’t land.”
38. “I promise to wear this ring as a symbol of our love… and try not to lose it at the gym.”
39. “I promise to never eat the last slice of pizza... unless you fall asleep first.”
40. “I promise to make you tea exactly how you like it — after asking you to remind me again.”
41. “I promise to always order something different, so you can ‘just have a taste’.”
42. “I promise to share my snacks, even when it’s the good chocolate.”
43. “I promise to pretend your cooking experiments always taste amazing.”
44. “I promise to save you the last roast potato — but only sometimes.”
45. “I promise to always tell you when there’s something in your teeth (eventually).”
46. “I promise not to correct your movie quotes... too often.”
47. “I promise to act surprised when you show me yet another TikTok I’ve already seen.”
48. “I promise to never touch the thermostat without permission.”
49. “I promise to let you choose the playlist on road trips (but I’m still skipping the sad songs).”
50. “I promise to always pretend to listen when you explain your fantasy football team.”
Funny Wedding Vows: Expert Advice
Before you're ready to write your own, here is some parting advice from expert celebrant Emma Lea. From what to say to how to say it, she's answered all our burning questions about hilariously funny wedding vows. How do I write funny wedding vows?
Can Wedding Vows be Funny?
"Wedding vows can absolutely be funny but it's important not to overdo it, remember you aren't a stand up comic! Sprinkling a little humour into vows can make them feel really personal to your relationship and break the tension if you're feeling a little nervous.
"The key is to aim for playful but genuine and avoid any jokes that may come across as mean spirited."
What Are Some Funny Wedding Vows from Movies?
"From the TV show New Girl: Cece: "I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth and constant mispronunciation of common words.
"From The Big Bang Theory: Bernadette: "Like you this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever.
"From The Vow: Paige: "I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.
"From The Wedding Singer: "I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad, Carry you around when your arthritis is bad, all I wanna do is grow old with you"
What are Examples of Clever or Witty Wedding Vows?
These vows start with playful in jokes that are both personal and easy for your guests to understand. The vows then move on to more sentimental promises that highlight the true emotion and commitment behind the vows.
How Can I Make my Wedding Vows Unique and Humorous?
"The key to unique and humorous vows is to be authentic. The jokes and wit that you use should be based on genuine quirks in your relationship, no two relationships are the same so why should your vows be copy and paste style?"Always remember to keep kindness at the forefront of mind when writing your vows, gentle teasing is ok but avoid anything that could be interpreted as mean or hurtful. This will just make your guests feel uncomfortable even if your partner knows you are only joking."
Funny wedding vows for him, her, or them can be sweet, sentimental, and side-splitting all at once. Whether you lean toward clever wedding vows, comical wedding vows, or unique wedding vow examples, the secret is simple: be yourself.
So grab a bottle of wine, brainstorm your funniest moments, and create funny vows for your wedding ceremony that’ll make everyone laugh, cry, and remember your day forever.
And if you want to keep the laughter going, check out our favourite funny wedding readings to match your hilarious vows.
