Funny Wedding Vows: Realistic Ideas for Honest Couples

Make realistic promises to your partner at your wedding with these down-to-earth wedding vow ideas


Your wedding vows are arguably the most important promises you and your partner will ever make to each other.


These are promises which should reflect your personalities and your relationship, so if you’re writing your own vows, why not make them as realistic and honest as possible?

If you’re looking for something a little different and a move away from the more traditional ‘I do’s’, take a look at our relatable, down-to-earth and funny wedding vow ideas! 

The Hangover Wedding Vow


“I promise to make you a bacon sandwich when you’re hungover” – Because everyone needs a bit of TLC after a heavy night.

READ MORE: Exciting Ways to Include Prosecco in Your Wedding

The Netflix Wedding Vow


“I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to” – Because no one deserves this kind of betrayal. (You may want to get this one in writing…)

The Washing-Up Wedding Vow


“I promise to wash up when you cook dinner” – Because marriage is all about compromise, right?

READ MORE: Things That Change After You Get Married

The Fashion Wedding Vow


“I promise to let you know when you’re making a slight error in fashion judgement” – Because honesty is the best policy! (And also, we don’t want to hang around with you wearing that T-shirt you’ve had since your teens… )

The Spider Wedding Vow


“I promise to always get rid of the spiders, even though I’m more scared than you” – Because when you love someone, that’s just what you do.

READ MORE: 18 Arguments Every Engaged Couple Have

The Football Wedding Vow


“I promise to comfort you when your football team loses… again” – Because their passions are now yours too.

READ MORE: Wedding Tasks to do While Your Partner Watches Football

The Eating Out Wedding Vow


“I promise to always order something you like so that we can share meals” – Because sharing is caring, after all. (Plus I secretly want some of your food too.)

READ MORE: 15 Things All Newlyweds Need to Know

The TV Wedding Vow


“I promise to put up with your favourite TV shows if you put up with mine” – Because compromise is key, and yes, this does include Love Island.

READ MORE: Reasons Why Love Island’s Chris Hughes is Husband Material

The Savings Wedding Vow


“I promise not to spend all our life savings during the January sales” – Because there’s more to life than ASOS (apparently…).

READ MORE: 39 Emotional Stages of Planning a Wedding

The Haircut Wedding Vow


“I promise to always notice when you get your hair cut” – Because being attentive shows you care.

READ MORE: 17 Thoughts Every Groom Has

The Chores Wedding Vow


“I promise to take the bins out… occasionally” – And I mean, occasionally!

The Snoring Wedding Vow


“I promise not to hit you too hard when you’re snoring in the night” – Because they don’t mean to be the most annoying sleeping human on the earth!

READ MORE: Sassy Wedding Memes You Need to See

The Chocolate Wedding Vow


“I promise to buy you your favourite chocolate when you’re sad (even if it takes two supermarket trips)” – Because chocolate is ALWAYS the answer.

READ MORE: Chocolate Wedding Ideas

The Hangry Wedding Vow


“I promise never to take my hanger out on you” – Because no one means what they say when they’re hangry. (This is more of an “I’ll try, but I can’t actually promise anything” type vow…)

The Anniversary Wedding Vow


“I promise to remind you of our anniversary at least 2 days before” – Because you don’t want to find out what happens if you forget an anniversary.

READ MORE: The Complete Wedding Anniversaries Guide

The Instagram Wedding Vow


“I promise to take Instagram-worthy pictures of you” – Because everyone loves a husband who can get all the angles.

READ MORE: Our Favourite Celebrity Wedding Instagrams

The Selfie Wedding Vow


“I promise to always ‘like’ your selfies” – Because, is there any better way to support your partner?

READ MORE: Our Favourite Wedding Selfies

The Argument Wedding Vow


“I promise to let you win the occasional argument, even when I’m right” – (We’ll let you into a secret now, we’re always right.)

The Tidy Wedding Vow


“I promise to put my make-up in its designated drawer if you pick your pants up off the floor” – Because, quite frnakly, no-one wants to look at piles of make-up brushes or pants

The Toilet Wedding Vow


“I promise to close the door when I go to the loo” – Because no one needs to see that.

The In-Laws Wedding Vow


“I promise not to moan about visiting your parents at the weekend” – Because no matter how much they drive us up the wall, we’re all family now.

The Driving Wedding Vow


“I promise to agree that you really are the best driver on the road and always know exactly where you’re going” – Because it’s not worth the argument…

The Bedtime Wedding Vow


“I promise not to steal the covers (intentionally)” – Because now we’re married we suppose we can share…


If you’ve already tied the knot, but want these promises in your life, why not consider renewing your wedding vows?