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Speech by Keith

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Keith
Speech Date: Dec 2008
Ladies, gentlemen, friends and freeloaders. It's been a fantastic day so far. The venue is spectacular, the ceremony was very special and everyone looks lovely. Unfortunately, every silver lining has a cloud, and today that comes in the form of me. For those who don't know me, my name is Keith and today I have the very special privilege of being the best man.
Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last and the general response was about as long as it takes the Groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience sit get back up Besides this speech, one of the main tasks of the best man is to make sure that the groom gets here on time, gets here sober, and gets here looking good. Well, two out of three isn't bad!
I suppose I should explain how I came to know the groom. The memory is a little hazy, but as far as I can work out I””ve known Raoul for about sixteen years now. We first met when we were both in primary school, where we played squash together for the school team. The competition between us has always been fierce, and it's nice of him to finally admit the truth – that I am the best man!
Traditionally, part of the best man's speech is spent in a few minutes of character assassination of the groom, but to be completely honest, by disclosing everything Raoul has done I would only be incriminating myself, and I don't want to tarnish my impeccable reputation! I also bought a book about being Best Man which told me I couldn't talk about sex, drugs or violence so that rules out talking about the stag do too!
So if you want to hear all the stories that I””m not allowed to stand up here and tell you, buy me a drink at the bar later and I””ll reveal all.
Am I doing alright Raoul? – He said that if I do a good speech today he'll let me be his best man for his next wedding too.

I actually find myself in the rather unusual situation of having known both the bride and the groom since before they were together. When they did first get together which I find difficult to believe was over nine years now they quickly grew to be inseparable. Words cannot describe how happy I am that they””re finally getting married, and I know that Raoul couldn't have made a better choice. Raoul, we have had some excellent times together and I know that we will continue to do so in the future. You have been a great friend to me over the years and I know how happy Karen makes you. It truly is a great honour to be your best man, so thank you.
Now it's customary for the best man to give some words of wisdom to the newlyweds on marriage. Me being single, I can””t speak from experience so I went looking on the internet to see what I could find. After a while, I found some really good stuff! Unfortunately it had nothing to do with the wedding, so I looked again and eventually found these useful tips about marriage
– Never go to bed on an argument.… Always stay up and argue.
– The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.
– Raoul, always remember those three little words that make a relationship run smoothly…&amp quote You're right, Karen
– Karen, you must remember, men are like fine wines, they start out as grapes and it is your job to stamp on them until they mature into something that you would like to have after dinner.

I have a few messages to read out from absent friends read messages

Which brings me to the toast. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand. ”May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.”
Please raise your glasses to the new Mr &amp Mrs Venter!