Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Danny
Speech Date: 20/06/2018 14:14:51
For those of you that don't know me, I'm Danny aka ‘Plummer’. Tony and I went to school, college and university together and I can honestly say this is probably the first time I have actually used his first name so for the rest of this speech, I will be referring to him by his proper name…Foxy.
Foxy and I have always had a bucket list and now that we've done skydiving the next thing on our list is getting in the Guinness Book of World Records so get comfortable because I'm about to attempt the world's longest best man speech!
Only kidding, this will be a short speech mainly because Tony has placed a substantial amount of money on a accumulator bet with Betfair on the length of all the speeches at his own wedding in an attempt to claw back some of the money Kaye has spent today, so here goes…
Back in the day, we were like brothers. In fact the way we went on you'd think we were identical twins, as we both used to pretend to be each other! Not having a car of my own I would drive one of Foxy's many cars; as those of you who know him and are brave or daft enough to get in a car with him will know, he's had more than his fair share of accidents!
The hardest part of being a best man is usually the speech, however in my case it was getting Foxy suited and booted as left to his own devices he would have turned up today in jeans, t-shirt and trainers. Speaking of which reminds me of the time he went to Ibiza for a two week holiday with half of my wardrobe and didn't return for 3 and a half years!
It's impossible to talk about Foxy without mentioning gambling, and I'll never forget the time the two of us went to the World Series Poker tournament in Las Vegas. After the first day I remember asking him ‘Who was the favourite to win?’ to which he replied Phil Ivey, who was considered at that time to be the Tiger Woods of the poker world.
The next day I'm chilling out in the hotel and then all of sudden I get a very excited Foxy on the phone saying ‘You're not going to believe who's just sat down at my table!’ – It was none other than Phil Ivey.
Foxy begged me to come down and take a picture…and despite the fact that there was a very strict ban on photography as you would expect in a room full of poker players all competing for the coveted World Series Poker title and the 8 and a half million dollar prize money!… true friend that I am, I spent the next hour discretely taking pictures of Foxy sat next to Phil Ivey whilst dodging security guards, avoiding CCTV cameras and wondering what would happen if I got caught!
Can you imagine what they would have done to us both if they thought we were cheating at the World Series Poker tournament when in fact all we were really after was a photo?!
It is customary for the best man to compliment the bride, so, I have to say…Kaye you are a VERY lucky woman as Foxy is a man of many talents. The one that springs to mind for me is self-administered first aid, as he wouldn't be here today had he not restarted his own heart back in our Uni days. I can't go into too much detail suffice to say if you ask him later he can explain, unfortunately my lips are sealed unless you buy me a drink and then I'll tell all!
I'm sure we can all agree that the bride looks a million dollars, I said this to Foxy earlier and, numbers guy that he is, replied, ‘She looks £15,811 pounds’. I'm only kidding, Kaye you look absolutely stunning, you're dress is amazing and… [turn to the bride] What does that say Kaye, I can't read your handwriting? Oh, you've picked the perfect venue to marry the perfect guy. Well 3 out of 4’s not bad!
Foxy and Kaye haven't decided where to go on their honeymoon yet or at least that's what Kaye thinks as Foxy has decided to surprise her with a romantic honeymoon in….Wales!! Well I assume that's where they're going because when I asked Foxy what he was doing after the wedding he told me he's going to BANGOR FOR A WEEK!! Or was it a fortnight? Like I said a man of many talents!
I'd like to thank Foxy for the honour of being his best man and on behalf of everybody here I would like to thank you both, for letting us all be part of your special day. We all wish you both a very long and happy life together.
So please stand and raise your glasses…
To Love, to Laughter, to Happy Ever After, The Fantastic New Mr & Mrs!