Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Adam T
Speech Date: 03/07/2017 10:33:53
Before I start I'd like to read a quick note from the boys at the rugby club:
“We found [Groom] useless in every position, all the best to his new wife”
So for those of you who don't already know me, I ‘m Adam, [Groom]’s brother in-law. It should come as no surprise then that we first met though K, [Groom]’s sister and my now wife. We are currently living together – by we, I don't just mean K and I, I mean K and myself, our son, [Bride] and [Groom]. But not to worry, we can circle back to that whole situation in a moment. It was of course a great honour to be chosen as best man, but from the start this speech was always going to be a challenge. So bear with me and I'm sure the next 35mins will fly by!
Traditionally as best man I am supposed to stand up here and tell a few funny stories about the groom, and this is exactly what I had planned until a conversation with [Groom]’s mum earlier today where I was set some firm ground rules to help avoid any stories which might be controversial – so nothing about:
Ex-Girlfriends *Drop Card*
Nothing involving the police *Drop Card*
And nothing involving too much alcohol *Drop Card*
I do have one story I can share though, some years ago a group of us went to Ibiza and in the lead up to this we heard several times from [Groom] that he probably wouldn't be staying in the apartment much due to all of the ladies he'd be meeting! The reality of this was that we did indeed loose [Groom] on a few nights out but, usually found him again chatting to a bunch of friendly German guys! The closest he got to a woman was one night in a bar, me and [Groom] were getting a bit rowdy in front of a band, a woman calls him over, immediately his night was looking up, excitedly he followed her… right to the door, it was at this moment he realised she was in fact a bouncer kicking him out.
Keeping the ground rules in mind, I'd like to mention the stag do, for which [Groom] organised a day at Royal Ascot. He told anyone who asked that it would be a quiet day at the races with a few friends, so this is exactly the story I'm sticking to! Our day of betting confirmed only that the best way to make a small fortune at the track, is to start with a large fortune!
I first properly met [Groom] when I moved out of my parent's house with K, she politely spoke to me about her brother who was looking for a place to live. Young and in love I agreed for the three of us to move in together. 8 years and a baby later I am stood amongst his closest friends and family, having seen and heard more from [Groom] than I ever could have imagined! Drunken nights out, holidays, arguments and I'm sure much more to come!
At this point I should thank his little sister for whipping him into a semi-domesticated, socially acceptable flat mate – But don't worry [Bride], there's plenty of work left to do.
I would like to mention the bridesmaids who all look wonderful; you clearly did an excellent job helping [Bride] get ready and to the church on time. Also a special mention to J the flower girl whose real job was baby control! Thank you for getting him down the aisle without causing a scene! *Space for reaction to what actually happened* /The night is still young though eh?!
The girls are of course only outshone by the bride, who – I am sure you will all agree – looks beautiful today. To the ushers, well done keeping calm under the pressure of sitting people down!
Seriously though, I am sure I can speak for [Bride and Groom] when I say you have all been a huge support.
With [Groom's] hard working attitude, high standards and physical prowess – [Bride's] endless patience, ability to laugh at anything and care-free nature you already have the foundations of a strong marriage and bright future.
I know you have both put a lot of effort into making today so special and I hope that bar this speech everything has exceeded your expectations. As a guest at the church and the event so far I can confirm it has been a wonderful, elegant and emotional day – even the cake is in tiers! *informally apologise*
So with my speech finally drawing to an end, I would like to ask you all to join me in wishing [Groom] and [Bride] the very best; for a future of love, happiness, adventure and memories –
To the new Mr and Mrs!