Hottest Sexting Ideas: 45 Flirtatious Messages & Best Sexy Things to Say

Sexting is nothing new – it’s a fun way to connect with your partner and keep things spicy when you’re not together. But it’s also something that doesn’t necessarily come naturally to all of us, which is why we’ve rounded up some of our favourite sexting ideas and examples to inspire your next message.

“Sexting and flirty messages can be a powerful way to keep emotional and erotic polarity alive, especially in long-term relationships where stress, logistics and routine can quietly dull desire,” explains sex and relationship coach Sami Wunder.

“When done well, it creates anticipation, playfulness and a sense of being chosen again, which will create more spark and intimacy in the bedroom, too.

“However, I tell all my clients that the true art of sexting is less about being explicit and more about reminding your partner, ‘I see you, I want you, I’m thinking about you’,” she adds. “For many couples, it becomes a bridge between emotional intimacy and physical connection, keeping attraction warm when life is busy.”

But what are good romantic or flirty messages to send? And how do you keep the conversation fun? Our guide below includes plenty of spicy text ideas to help you, as well as tips for beginners and some communication etiquette dos and don'ts for couples.

After all, when it comes to sexting suggestions, there’s always more to learn!

Sexting Ideas: 45 Flirtatious Messages to Send

From flirty and playful texts to heartfelt messages that boost communication on an emotional level, here are some sexting ideas to keep the spark alive 

• Playful Sexting Ideas
• Romantic Sexting Ideas
• Sexting Ideas for Long-Distance Couples
• Sexting FAQ & Couple Messaging Tips
• Sexting & Consent

Playful Sexting Ideas

Keep it flirty with our roundup of cheeky messages and example sexts to send (warning: some may get pulses racing and fingers typing in response!)

• ‘Imagine us sneaking off somewhere… what would happen next?’
• ‘I can’t stop thinking about feeling your hands on me’
• If you were here, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you’
• ‘I was thinking about our last night together… I have a surprise planned for next time 😘’
• ‘Guess what I’m not wearing right now?’
• ‘I wish you could see me right now – let me describe it to you’
• ‘I want you to do that to me again tonight’
• ‘Tell me what you’d like to do if we were alone…’
• ‘What was your favourite part of last night?’
• ‘I’ve just got out of the shower… wish you were here 😏’
• ‘I hope you know I’m thinking about you right now’
• ‘No one makes me feel as good as you do’
• ‘I can still taste you’
• ‘Guess what I’m imagining right now…’
• ‘My days are more fun when you’re in them’

Romantic Sexting Ideas

Want ideas for romantic texts to send to your partner? They’ll fall hard for these lines

• ‘This song always reminds me of you/that night’
• ‘I keep thinking about last night’
• ‘Have I told you lately how incredibly sexy you are?’
• ‘How did I get so lucky?’
• ‘I would marry you all over again’
• ‘Seeing you is the best part of my day’
• ‘That scent you were wearing this morning is so sexy’
• ‘Remember the night when [insert scenario]?’
• ‘Excited for our date night tonight, can’t wait to see you 😘’
• ‘Last night I dreamt that we [insert scenario] … what do you think about making it reality?’
• ‘You just left but I already miss you’

Sexting Ideas for Long-Distance Couples

For long-distance couples, maintaining intimacy can be especially difficult, but sexting is a fun way to feel close. The key is to combine anticipation and playfulness with a bit of creativity. Start by building excitement gradually. Light, suggestive messages or teasing questions can help you test the water without overwhelming your partner.

You could also use voice notes, emojis or GIFs to add personality and emotion to your texts, and schedule flirtatious messages throughout the day to build anticipation – a ‘good morning’ text followed by a teasing voice note in the evening can keep your connection strong until you’re back together.

Example sexts for long-distance couples might include:

• ‘I can’t wait to see you – counting down the days 😘’
• ‘I was just thinking about our last weekend together… wish you were here ❤️’
• ‘Sending you a virtual hug until I can give you a real one 🤗’
• ‘Just imagined us together… now I can’t stop smiling 😏’
• If I were there right now, you wouldn’t be able to stop me 😉’
• ‘I’ve been dreaming about you… can’t wait to show you what I dreamt later’
• ‘What would you do if I showed up at your door right now?’

Sexting FAQ & Couple Messaging Tips

What is sexting?

Simply put, sexting is the act of sending a text with a sexual message. It’s designed to be flirty, to boost intimacy and communication, and get your recipient a little hot under the collar!

In the modern world, sexting has kind of taken over from phone sex as a way of connecting with your partner and maintaining intimacy in a private way when you can’t be together in person.

If you’re looking for ways to elevate communication and intimacy with your wife, husband, partner or spouse, sexting can be a good way to boost that. Even something as simple as, ‘I can’t stop thinking about last night’ can bring a smile. Why not send a sexy SMS and see where it takes you?

How do I start sexting with my partner?

Start slow and playful – begin with light, flirtatious messages or compliments such as ‘I can’t stop thinking about you…’

Is sexting safe?

Sexting is absolutely safe as long as you both respect each other’s privacy and boundaries. Only sext with trusted partners, keep your messages private and avoid sharing explicit images unless you both agree.

Dos and don’ts of sexting

Consent is sexy, as is respecting people’s boundaries, so before you start talking dirty over text, make sure you do the following:

Do:

• Discuss boundaries and seek consent
• Start slow and match your partner’s tone
• Keep your messages private and secure
• Be mindful of the language you use
• Be descriptive and playful with your sexts

“My biggest ‘do’ is to stay authentic,” adds Sami. “Sexting isn’t about performing – it’s about expressing desire in a way that feels natural to you. Another key thing is timing and attunement: send messages when your partner can actually receive them emotionally, not just read them.”

Don’t:

• Send explicit photos, unless it’s mutually agreed
• Pressure your partner into sexting
• Share your sexts with anyone else with your partner’s permission
• Send sexts in a hurry – always check you’re sending to the right person!

“Don’t over-explain or force intensity either,” adds Sami. Desire thrives on suggestion, not pressure.”

Sexting ideas for each relationship stage

When thinking about how to talk dirty, the stage your relationship is at and the previous experience you have of sexting together will have an impact.

“In new relationships, lighter and more playful messages work best – curiosity, flirtation and intrigue,” says Sami. “In long-term relationships, sexting can be more grounded and emotionally anchored, reconnecting lovers to shared memories, inside jokes or the safety of being deeply known. The intention shifts from ‘impressing’ to ‘inviting’.”

If you’re in a new relationship, start small and build. Flirty texts like these will help to test the water:

• ‘I can’t get over how good you looked last night…’
• ‘Thinking about seeing you later…’
• ‘You’ve been on my mind all day…’
• ‘When do I get to see you again?’

For long-term couples wanting to introduce dirty talk into their relationship, there are a few ways to do this but reflecting on a shared intimate memory is a great way to start. This increases intimacy, and if you’re new to sexting, it gives you something to discuss as you walk through that memory via the medium of text. Try something like:

• ‘Remember our first date? I still get butterflies thinking about it ❤️’
• ‘That weekend getaway we had… I keep replaying it in my mind 😏’
• ‘I keep thinking about last night – and I can’t stop smiling 😘’
• ‘Remember that night we stayed up until sunrise? I want to do it all over again’

How to sext confidently

You might feel a little shy about sexting, which is completely normal. “The best thing is to start simple – confidence doesn’t come from being graphic, it comes from being present to your body, feelings and unspoken desires,” explains Sami.

“A message like, ‘I just caught myself smiling thinking about you’, or ‘I’m really looking forward to being close to you later’, is often far more magnetic than anything explicit.”

Sami also suggests describing feelings instead of actions: “Warmth, closeness, longing… if it feels true to your body it will land that way with your partner,” she adds. “Sexting is a skill, not a personality trait and – like any skill – it grows with practice and self-trust.”

How to build intimacy through sexting

Sext messages are a great way to build intimacy – not only can they bring a spark to your relationship but sometimes sending a message can allow you or your partner to be more open about what you’d like than if you were face to face.

You can discuss things you’d like to explore, without feeling awkward, all while building sexual intimacy and improving communication.

Sexting can also help you feel reconnected with your partner, particularly if you’re feeling a little lost when it comes to your sex life.

Sexting & Consent

It’s important when engaging in sexting that you make sure you respect your partner’s boundaries and that you understand that they consent to having that kind of conversation with you. Sending sexy text messages isn’t for everyone, so be respectful if your partner doesn’t want to participate.

Trust is also a key component of sexting – make sure you have trust in the person you’re sending messages to, and recognise their trust in you, too. It’s an intimate act, so not something to show others without the agreement of the other party.

The rules for sexting are:

• Respect each other’s boundaries
• Only send sexts to trusted partners
• Don’t share your sexy texts or photos with anyone else

Want more? You’re insatiable! Make sure you check out our guide to the best sex positions for even more fun.