You’ve spent months, perhaps even years, planning your big day, only for it to come and go leaving you feeling a little ‘meh’ and a bit flat. For many couples it can come as a bit of a shock – and worry – that after all the hype of the big day, the ‘days after the night before’ don’t feel perhaps as exciting as you thought they might and you're left feeling sad after the wedding. This, my friend, is the ‘wedding blues’ and fear not, if this has touched a nerve in any way, you’re perfectly normal.
Many newlyweds feel a bit deflated after their nuptials and it can be a rather unsettling feeling – after all, surely this should be the most exciting time of the rest of your life, right?! Yes, it should and will be, but you’re also allowed to ‘come down’ off the adrenalin, dopamine and oxytocin happy hormone cocktail that has been flooding your body during wedding planning and on the day itself. It stands to reason that you’d feel a bit wiped out after such an emotional rollercoaster.
Planning and preparing emotionally and physically for after the wedding is a key part in the wedding preparation; many couples get lost in the favours, colour schemes and dance floor playlists and forget about what life is going to be life after the big bash. Giving some thought to what you’re both going to do, what life is going to be like and how you’re going to nurture your new ‘just married’ status will be a massive help in seamlessly transitioning from one exciting milestone (the wedding) to the start of married life together.
The couples who tend to experience the blues the most are the ones who get so wrapped up in the party planning, they neglect to visualise and plan the future, and remember why they’re getting married in the first place.
Here are my top 3 tips to help soothe those post-wedding blues.
1. Make Plans
You can’t even remember what life without wedding planning was like! The excitement of choosing all the pretty things, making exciting plans with your loved ones, seeing your friends and family and everyone you care about in one place – it stands to reason that you might feel a bit flat when the celebrations are over.
Make sure you and your partner plan to see the people you love for a post-wedding catch up, maybe a post-honeymoon lunch a few months down the line to look at the photos, or a screening of your wedding video. Getting these dates in your diary in advance will give you both something to look forward to.
2. Do Couples Things
Ahead of your wedding, make some plans for things you’d like to do together after the big day. Throw some ideas around about new activities or hobbies you might like to try as a couple. Perhaps it’s a cookery course, maybe you want to take up running or cold water swimming together, diarise movie nights and date nights, make plans together and enjoy growing even more as a legally married couple.
3. Talk to Each Other
It might sound super simple but good communication is often the one thing we take for granted and unless we pay particular attention to it, it can fall to the wayside. Talk to each other about how you’re feeling and be honest. After all, you’ve just made some pretty powerful vows ‘to have and to hold’ and it’s ok to tell your partner if you’re feeling a bit sad, tired, deflated, bored, unsure of where to go and what to do next... Express your feelings to each other and respect and accept them in a non judgemental way.
Finally, pre-marriage counselling and coaching is a great way to help focus on life after the party, it’s a great way to segue seamlessly into married life full of happiness, excitement and positivity.