How to Write (and Give!) an Amazing Mother of the Bride Speech

Love them or hate them, speeches are central to any wedding reception but one thing we love is that more and more mums are choosing to shun tradition and take to the mic to deliver a mother of the bride speech on their daughter’s big day.

Whether you’re giving a mother of the bride speech because you’ve always been the go-to parent, the bride’s other parent has sadly passed away or you just have plenty to say(!) we’re here to help you ace it with our ultimate guide to mother of the bride speeches below.

Much like a father of the bride speech, mother of the bride speeches might cover anything from marriage advice to revealing your daughter’s first embarrassing celebrity crush (ahem!) – whatever you choose to say, it’s a wonderful opportunity to laugh, honour her and raise a toast to the happy couple’s exciting future.

Your Guide to Giving the Best Mother of the Bride Speech Ever

To help you write and deliver the mother of the bride speech to top all other speeches, we’ve have a complete guide that will support you every step of the way, along with advice from speech writer and industry expert Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of Speechy and author of The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches.

• Does the Mother of the Bride Give a Speech?
• What to Include in a Mother of the Bride Speech
• Mother of the Bride Speech Examples
• Tips for Writing & Delivering a Mother of the Bride Speech

Does the Mother of the Bride Give a Speech?

There isn’t a mother of the bride speech in the traditional wedding speech line-up, but of course that doesn’t actually matter!  As modern couples choose to veer from tradition, Heidi reveals that she’s currently working with more mothers of the bride than ever before:

“And why not?!” she says. “Mothers generally have more insider intel on their daughter’s childhood, teenage years, and love life than dads do. While a lot of the fathers we work with need help recalling childhood moments, the mothers never do!

“Ten years ago, the mums we worked with still thought the idea of them giving a speech was a bit of an oddity and felt a bit nervous at the prospect. But that’s no longer the case. Over the last decade, we’ve worked with hundreds of mums, and they’ve all loved the opportunity to pay tribute to their daughter and sum up a lifetime of love,” she adds.

What to Include in a Mother of the Bride Speech

So, what should you say in your mother of the bride speech?

The main point of the mother of the bride speech is to welcome all your guests and tell your daughter how much you love her and how proud you are of her. It’s a heart-warming, memorable moment in the day that will likely be remembered by all.

If you’re having a mother of the bride speech in place of a male equivalent, then the basic structure will be the same. A mother of the bride speech should:

• Welcome and thank everyone for coming
• Pay brief tribute to the bride’s other parent (optional)
• Pay tribute to the bride and share stories and memories of her
• Talk about meeting her daughter’s new partner for the first time, getting to know them and welcoming them into the family
• Offer wise and funny advice to the couple
• Finish with a toast to the newlyweds

Ideas for Mother of the Bride Speeches

Many of us have been there; the moment you need to write something heartfelt and sentimental, it’s like every memory of that person disappears from your brain!

Here are some questions that’ll hopefully point you in the right direction for some great stories to tell about your daughter. Anecdotes really bring a speech to life, and you’ve got a whole lifetime’s worth…

• What was she like as a child? Did she ever have any funny school reports? Did she have a nickname? How does she compare now?
• Who was her first crush? How do they compare to her partner?
• What job did she want as a child? What does she do now?
• Did she always dream of getting married?
• What does she do that always makes you laugh?
• What’s her funniest/weirdest habit?
• Any memorable moments from her first holiday abroad/school play/day of university? Are there any arguments with siblings that have gone in history in your household?
• How did the couple meet? When and how did she tell you about them?
• Do the couple share any unusual hobbies together?
• How do they tolerate each other’s quirks?
• Did her partner ask for permission to marry your daughter? What did you immediately think/say?
• If they’ve got a child or children together, how did you feel when she became a mother? What advice have you given her?

Mother of the Bride Speech Examples

These wedding speeches for the mother of the bride will offer up some inspiration if you're struggling to put pen to paper and get started with writing. 

How to Start a Mother of the Bride Speech

• Thank you so much for joining us today on [Bride’s Name] and [Partner’s Name]’s big day, I hope you’ll all agree with me that it has been absolutely beautiful. It’s an honour to welcome you here today and see so many of you having travelled from far and wide to celebrate with us.
• Hi everyone, I’m [Name], [Bride’s Name]’s older sister… I’m just joking! Though [Bride’s Name] and I have always been so much more than mother and daughter, we’re best friends. So, I couldn’t let this moment pass without saying something – and as her dad will tell you, I always have to have the last word!

Sentimental Speeches & Anecdotes

• Your wedding day is said to be the happiest of your life, and while it was very happy indeed, it couldn’t compare to the moment our daughter came into the world. You have brought us such joy and happiness (and a few sleepless nights!) but I couldn’t be prouder of the beautiful, smart, strong woman you’ve grown into today.
• [Partner’s Name] may not know this, but [Bride’s Name] started planning this wedding at the age of nine! I’ll never forget walking in on her sister playing vicar at the wedding ceremony between [Bride’s Name] – dressed up in my red lipstick and heels with a toilet paper veil – and a poster of Gareth Gates!
• It’s with love, pride and joy I stand here today. [Bride’s Name] has been lucky enough to find true love with [Partner’s Name] and that will forever make me so grateful. The two of you are perfect for each other and I couldn’t imagine anyone better – or as patient! – as [Partner’s Name] to start this new adventure with.
• Your dad and I have always tried to be an example to you, to show you that through the ups and down and across the years love can grow and last. Seeing you two together, I know we’ve taught you all the lessons we can and all we can do is wish you a lifetime of happiness as you start your own family.

Tributes to Dad

• Traditionally this speech would be given by [Bride’s Name]’s dad, but although [Dad’s Name] can’t be with us here in person, he has never left our side today in spirit. I know he’d be as proud of you as I am standing here, so let us raise our first glass to [Dad’s Name] and all absent family and friends.
• Instead of champagne, we decided it would be more fitting to have a dram of his favourite whisky for everyone. To [Dad’s Name]!

Mother of the Bride Toast Ideas

• I wish to raise a toast to my daughter and her new husband/wife. Although she’s too old to hold my hand, she’ll always hold my heart. Watching you grow from my little girl into the beautiful bride standing before me has filled me with such joy. Everyone you meet is touched by your kindness, generosity, love for life and cheeky humour. Here’s to the two of you…
• I’m incredibly lucky to have you as a daughter and as a treasured friend, too. I feel blessed to welcome [Partner’s Name] into our lives and thank him/her for the laughter and happiness he/she brings my daughter. I couldn’t wish for a better husband/wife for [Bride’s Name]; may the two of you have a long, happy and healthy life together.

Tips for Writing & Delivering a Mother of the Bride Speech

To ensure your mother of the bride speech is talked about for all the right reasons, author and speech writing expert Heidi shares some of her top tips, and answers some of your most commonly asked questions.

“Remember, mother of the bride speeches tend to follow the same etiquette and basic structure as the male equivalent,” she says. “The mum’s job is to essentially drop a love-bomb on her daughter and give the guests an insight into what makes the bride so wonderful!

“Rather than resort to boring old adjectives – ‘kind’, ‘funny’, ‘thoughtful’ – use stories to bring your daughter’s characteristics to life.”

You might even want to incorporate a mother of the bride poem!

How long should a mother of the bride speech be?

When it comes to the length of mother of the bride speeches, Heidi advises that, “anything between five and eight minutes is ideal. Around 900-1,200 words is generally our standard as it’s long enough to say everything you need to say, but not so long people will start to get bored.

“Once you’ve written a first draft, try to edit it down by a third and I guarantee it will feel punchier as a result. When you're happy with your speech, read it back and check to see how many lines could be delivered by another ‘mother of the bride’. If it’s more than a dozen, then you’ve done something wrong!

“If you feel you have a lot more you’d like to say, one idea is to write a letter for your daughter to read on the night before the wedding,” she adds.

As well as considering the length of the speech, it's also important to give yourself enough time to actually write and perfect the speech. Heidi advises mothers “not to put it off – try to start writing your speech at least a couple of months before the wedding day. It’s much easier to improve a first draft, than it is to look at a blank page,” she adds.

“Allow yourself a couple of weeks to rehearse the speech and feel confident about your delivery. Try to memorise the speech but use notes on the day. It’s not a sign of weakness! And when you’re delivering the speech, remember to smile; it’s literally infectious. Even if you’re feeling nervous, a smile (even a fake one) will trick you and your audience into relaxing,” she adds.

What makes a great mother of the bride speech?

First of all, keep it personal: You want to ensure that the speech you give about your daughter could only have been written about her. 

“Don’t resort to ‘wedding waffle’,” says Heidi. “No need to mention the gorgeous venue. No need to thank individual people for coming (that’s the newlyweds' job). Instead, if you’re the first speaker on the line up, welcome all the guests for coming and then jump into storytelling and entertaining everyone.

“Start by sharing some tales from your daughter’s childhood. Hunt down those anecdotes that reflect the woman she would later become, whether it’s her insatiable appetite, her intimidating death-stare, or her naughty sense of humour.

“And try not to resort to mother/daughter clichés and instead, recognise the individual human she is and cherish the unique relationship you have. Do you still have to encourage her to wear warmer clothes? Does she add inches to your waistline by bringing wonderful homemade cakes on every visit?

But also remember that it’s not a CV. While mother of the bride speeches should be personal, not everything about your daughter’s life should make the cut, as Heidi explains:

“Sure, feel free to add some of your daughter’s achievements to your speech, but don’t let your speech turn into a CV. No one needs to know she was a Grade-eight pianist, unless of course, she accompanied all her performances with terrible singing that made your ears bleed.”

Can I tell jokes in my mother of the bride speech?

“Humour is important in any wedding speech,” says Heidi. “But no one expects you to be a comedian and you don’t need to be writing punchlines – instead, find the stories that will make people chuckle and bring smiles to their faces.

“Overall, your mother of the bride speech should be a mix of humorous, poignant, and sentimental content and your daughter should be left with no doubt about just how much you love her.

“When it comes to adding humour to your speech, don’t resort to any googled-gags or sexist platitudes. Stick to strong stories, insightful observations, and surprising facts instead.”

Should I include the groom in my speech?

As in any wedding, there are two people getting married here and it's important to address them both as a parent.

Heidi adds: “Of course, as well as paying a tribute to your child, you need to pay a loving tribute to her partner too. Sure, you can give a ‘friendly warning’ about looking after your girl, but it’s always good to say more than the usual platitudes.

“Give a sense of, not only why they’re a good partner for your daughter, but why you personally like them too. Have you bonded over a mutual appreciation of a good Merlot? Do you both recognise your daughter’s quirkiest habits and tolerate her inability to load the dishwasher without assistance?” she adds.

It’s also important to not forget your new in-laws: acknowledge them in some way and welcome them to the family.

What order should the mother of the bride speak in?

There are no hard and fast rules on when the mother of the bride should stand up to make her speech, though in most cases, she will follow the father of the bride if he is present and also making a speech.

If the father of the bride isn’t present, many mothers of the bride will make their speech first to kick off the toasts.

Always end with a toast

“The conclusion of the speech should reiterate your love for your daughter and your hopes for the couple’s marriage. It’s no longer necessary to offer the newlyweds ‘marriage advice’ but sometimes it can be an opportunity to add a bit of humour,” suggests Heidi.  

“Finally, a mother of the bride speech should end with a call for everyone to join you in a toast. The toast should be directed at the newlyweds and sum up your hopes for their future life together. Extra points if you can reference something earlier in the speech, for example, ‘Here’s to a life full of laughter and love… and very few death-stares!’”

If you’re looking for that perfect mother of the bride outfit, check out our selection of gorgeous mother of the bride dresses to inspire you.