Speech by Daniel Hull

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Daniel Hull
Speech Date: 05/10/2010 16:34:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, on behalf of Louise and myself, welcome to you all. Thank you Ron for you kind words.

We're going to play a little fun game first so I need everybody to please stand up and face this way. Right those of you whose birthday is on an even date hold your hands open and those on an odd day hands together (take photo and say this is proof that your speech got a standing ovation)

Now I'm going to keep this speech short and sweet for 2 reasons. The first is that I know what my pound has gone on in the sweepstake that's going round and secondly is mainly for the Arsenal fans. I know you guys always like to leave 15 minutes before the end so I don't want you to miss out on anything…….… and I'd also like to remind you that there are a few toasts to be made so no necking the whole glass on the first one, mentioning no names, Pauline.

I would like to thank you all for coming to help us celebrate this special day. A wedding takes a lot of organisation and myself and Louise have spent literally months planning today. Infact now were married, i'm a little worried we'll have nothing to talk about. It means so much to have everybody here that we love and care about and you're the people who have made this day what it is. We know that some of you have driven hours to get here – to be fair you shouldn't have let the Mrs do the map reading! So in true Club 18-30 style which takes me back to my mad, bad repping days in Ibiza, let's see how far some of you have traveled?

Let me hear from the Essex crowd, Hertfordshire, North London, South London, Kent, Suffolk, France.

Its really is truthfully amazing how far people will travel for a free lunch…………Honestly though I hope you enjoyed your meal, its funny as when we were choosing the menu I asked the hotel how they prepare the chicken. They said to me, sir, nothing special, we just tell them straight out that they're going to die. Anyway, I hope you're looking forward to a night of merriment, embarrassing photos and bad dancing. I know I am. And for anyone that needs an example of bad dancing, just see my Uncle Al. I'm sure he'll be doing demonstrations later.

Now it's not often that you get to marry your best friend, well today that's exactly what I have done. I was going to write a romantic poem about how Louise and I first got together, but I couldn't get the words minibus, tequila and Dukes Nightclub to rhyme. You would of by now noticed these things on your tables (make hand signals). To this day I still don't know what these are called, but they were influential to the start of our relationship, and if any of you want to know why, I can be bribed into telling the story later by getting me on the tequila I've just mentioned!

I do think however that we were both destined to be together. They say you don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you can't live without…… and I think that sums us up perfectly. Louise, I'd like this opportunity to tell you how much I love you and how striking you look today, for giving me the most beautiful daughter in the whole world and to thank you for all your hard work and effort in making today a success, my eBay account has never had so much feedback! Louise only asked me to arrange one thing for today, the weather. So for the past 6 months I've been keeping a close eye on the TV watching the forecasts, as you can see all my hard work paid off! So I'd like everybody to raise their glass and join me in making a toast to my new wife, or as I like to think, my latest ex-girlfriend, Louise.

Mum and Dad – well what can I say? I really want to thank you for the way you have always supported me. I love and respect you and thank you for pointing me in the right direction.  You have always been there for me and indeed for us, and if me and Louise have half the successful and happy marriage that you have had, that'll do for me.

I'd also like to thank Louise's parents, Pauline and Ron. You should be proud to have a daughter like Louise and I thank you for all what you've done, not just for today, but for everything over the years. I can tell you that Louise's happiness is my absolute priority and this is the promise I make to you both. We would like to say a big thank you to both mum's for their help and assistance in making today run as smoothly as possible and I'd also like to mention my auntie Tina who has also helped us out a lot today so please accept these flowers as a token of our appreciation

I'd also like to thank my cousin Amy for being our bridesmaid. Amy you look lovely and you are rapidly turning into a beautiful young woman and also to the 2 real stars of the show Tilly and Beau. I wonder how many hearts these two will break in future years so again here's an appreciation of what you've all done today (present)

Ladies and gentleman please raise your glasses and join me in a toast – parents and bridesmaids.

Got to mention our two glamorous witnesses, Louise's sisters, Chris and Jackie. Thank you to Chris for hand making all the invites, stationery and favour boxes, I'm sure she'll be handing her card round shortly for any future orders, and thank you to Jackie for assisting in the whole cake process, which I'm sure we'll all be throwing at each other later. (presents)

The final thank you of the day goes to my best man James AKA Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo, Gumbo and many more aliases that aren't suitable for public speaking! It was such a difficult decision in choosing a best man as I am lucky enough to have such a great group of mates. Thank you *cough Nicky cough* for organising my Stag Do – I think we kept the Essex boy end up in Benidorm, and thanks for keeping me and all the boys entertained over the last 18 years. You really are a charming, funny, intelligent, and what does that say mate – I'm struggling to read your handwriting.

With Jimmy already being married I asked him for some advice about where I could take Lou on honeymoon.

He said, what about Bournemouth, Oh in Dorset? I said. Jimmy replied yes I can't recommend it high enough.

He then said do you think Lou would like North America. I said Alaska; I thought you wanted it to be a surprise trip he said?

Jimmy then told me he had recently enjoyed a shopping trip to the Middle East. Dubai I said, yes lots, there's so many bargains over there

Anyway Jimmy said, I thought you'd already organised a honeymoon to North Wales because you did say earlier you were going to Bangor all week?

Well I could stand here and get into a load more stale jokes, but I just realized that I'm only the warm up act for the speech you're all waiting to hear. I know Jimmy's itching to get up here. Well he's been doing a lot of scratching. JIMMY LEAVE YOURSELF ALONE!!! For those of you that don't know Jimmy, he spent a lot of his youth smoking funny cigarettes and now he lives in a parallel universe, so please take anything he says with a pinch of salt. We have got you a thank you present Jim, but I think we'll hear the speech first before we decide if we should give you it (present)

I would however like to leave you with a final thought before I finish. I given this valuable advice in my younger days by a wise old monk when I was solo backpacking through the Himalayas on a charity mission to help rescue underprivileged dolphins.

Marriage should be like supporting your favorite football team: The unbelievable highs, the lowest of lows, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, but most defiantly always exciting for an hour and a half on a Saturday. Enjoy the rest of the day. Cheers!