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Speech by Chris Wright

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Chris Wright
Speech Date: 30/09/2012 21:38:00

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, boy and girls, just for the record I am the best man, the younger brother, and my name is Chris. 

It's been quite a year so far:  Man City won the premiership.  Bradley Wiggins won the Tour De France Andy Murray won a grand slam. We even staged a successful Olympics.  And now though, I am sure you will all agree we've got the event of the year – where here to celebrate Pamela and David's wedding.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming.  and many people have made a huge contribution to make this a special day, but there are a few people who deserve a special mention. I would like you all please to just cast your eyes in this direction please toward the maids of honour and bridesmaids because I think you will all agree with me they look absolutely stunning and have done a superb job in making sure this is a wonderful day for Pam.  So if you could all raise your glasses please I would like to propose a toast to – the beautiful bridesmaids.  Now if the bridesmaids are stunning then Pam you look just awesome, absolutely fantastic in that dress. [Kiss Hug]. So Pamela it's my honour to you welcome to the family.  Dave, you are a very lucky man.  So a second toast please, to the gorgeous bride, Mrs Pamela Wright. 

Anyway we went out our kid and I, a few weeks ago back in London, kind of a low key stag do and we started talking about first memories.  Now I have it on good authority that his first memory of me is not exactly pleasant. Apparently when I was born he ran away to the nearby golf course, he went missing for two hours, and was found crying under a bush.  This all Happened because, jokingly, my mam he told him that when I was born I was going to beat him up. I wish I could of, believe me.  But because of this traumatic experience, Dave had as a 6 year old, I have been paying the price ever since.  But now Dave, it's payback time.

So, going back to my memories of him, I have a vague memory of him dripping hot plastic on to my hand but he has always strenuously denied this.  I am going to ask him one last time in this sort of wedding day court, in front of everybody (DID YOU DO IT, did you do this {hand up with lip stick scar}?).

Other memoires which stick out like when we went on a family holiday without Dave, and we came back to find the Austin Montego written off,  – but yes you've guessed it he denied all knowledge, or do you want to own up to that now [That must be effect of Pam rubbing off on you]. Another is when Dave tried making a film, you know the one's you star in yourself.  I saw it – It wasn't a long film btw, but somehow the cassette got stuck in the camcorder, so to avoid the embarrassment he ended up smashing the camcorder and then tried blaming it on me (some brother).  And I am not even going to mention the 3 car police chase through the Mersey tunnel – how did we get away with that??? All I can say Pam is you have married a good getaway driver, but I'm not sure about his credentials as a porn star. 

Now another experience which sticks in my mind came when I was 15.  Now It am might be hard to image this, because Dave nowadays seems to be always in his work gear with hair full of paint and sawdust, I am surprised how he's scrubbed up today.   But in his day r kid was a bit of entrepreneur and always well turned out.  He owned a successful record business, then went on to open yes, you've guessed it, where from Hull, a Fish and Chip shop.  He became rich (for a time) and he got in with Hull's champagne Charlie crowd. He persuaded me to come for the Christmas night out. He dressed me in one of his many suits, and somehow they all smuggled me in to a club.  I thought he wanted me to have a good time, show me a good night out with the boys, how to drink responsibly. I was wrong.  Basically got me hammered in as quick a time as possible, drinking Moet Champagne, my head was spinning, I was sick everywhere and within 20 minutes the bouncers had thrown me out onto the cold and wet winters streets.  I had no money, and had to stagger home for 4 miles.  Anyway I get in, and r kids there sprawled out on the settee, snoring away fast asleep, after he'd probably been chauffer driven home. So next to him is a bottle of Lucozade – the colour I recall about the same as this beer. So I pick up the Lucozade it's a bit warm, but I was thirsty after the walk I just started guzzling away.  After several gulps I began to realise that there was something not quite right, it had no fizz and it tasted remarkably like the champagne I'd been drinking earlier.  Now I will let you draw your own conclusions, because I still can't admit it to myself.  But I suppose that sums up how close Dave and I have been over the years.  

In all honesty though, Dave, has been someone I have always looked up to and admired.  He is the most generous man I know, will do anything for you, very loyal, and as always been there for me.  Being his brother, I can honestly say I have never seen him happier than when he is with Pam.  I'm sure everybody agrees you make a great couple and it's been a pleasure to be part of this celebration of your clear love towards one another.  So I wish you luck, health, wealth and happiness.  If you could be upstanding one last time, can you all raise your glasses please to: The Bride and Groom.