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What is a Twin Flame & How Do You Know If You’ve Met Yours?

More than a soul mate, a twin flame is someone you’re intensely connected to- and the best news? Everybody has one. We spoke to experts to find out what exactly a twin flame is, and how to know if you’ve found yours

Gay couple gazing into each other's eyes as they find their twin flame
Unsplash / Nina Hill

Gay couple gazing into each other's eyes as they find their twin flame
Unsplash / Nina Hill

If you’ve listened to Taylor Swift’s song All Too Well (the 10 minutes version, of course), you’ll have heard the 32-year-old singing about her twin flame, and may well have wondered what she’s talking about, and what is a twin flame?

Amongst all the discussions around what a twin flame is, there is also a lot of confusion on whether or not there's a difference between meeting your twin flame and meeting your soulmate. We've sought expert advice on this topic to answer all of your questions and explain to our Hitched users what a twin flame really is. 

What is a Twin Flame And How Do You Know If You’ve Met Yours?

Man and woman lying on a bed hugging
Unsplash / Becca Tapert

Far more than just a poetic phrase that fits well into Tay Tay's wedding-worthy song, a twin flame is a concept that people around the world buy into it, and the most important thing to know is that a twin flame is not the same as a soul mate.

After listening to the song and hearing just about everybody's whispers on this, we decided to get to the bottom of what a twin flame is, and how you'll know when you've met yours.

What Is A Twin Flame?

Two men in love and kissing each other
Unsplash / Renate Vanaga

Twin flames are two people that share the same soul, says twin flame relationship coach Elle Hari. “What makes someone your twin flame is that they aren’t a separate soul; their soul is your soul. Your twin flame is your soul in another body,” Elle explains.

With your twin flame, there will be a deep, instant feeling that you’ve met them before. “Historically, it is said that twin flames were literally split in half and put in two bodies which is why there is so much soul recognition when you meet yours,” says Kate Rose, author of You Only Fall in Love Three Times: The Secret Search for Our Twin Flame

“Your twin flame connection is the relationship that truly helps you become your best self,” Kate continues. 

Taylor Swift isn’t the only celebrity to talk about her twin flame. Actress Megan Fox and her partner, rapper Machine Gun Kelly, believe they are each other’s twin flame, with Machine Gun Kelly writing a song called Twin Flame about their relationship. We're still swooning over Megan Fox's stunning celebrity engagement ring!

About their twin flame connection, Megan said: “I knew right away that he was what I call a twin flame. Instead of a soul mate, a twin flame is actually where a soul has ascended into a high-enough level that it can be split into two different bodies at the same time. So we’re actually two halves of the same soul, I think. And I said that to him almost immediately, because I felt it right away.”

With such a strong connection and undeniable chemistry, we're counting down the days until MGK and Megan's celebrity wedding.

READ MORE: Celebrities Who Changed Their Name After Marriage

Does Everybody Have A Twin Flame?

Two women lying in the grass holding one another close
Unsplash / Masha S

According to Elle, yes. “Your twin flame is essentially you,” she says. “You will resonate with them like no other because you share the same soul frequency, something that is unique and that you don’t share with anyone else in any realm and that binds you to your twin flame for all eternity.”

How Do You Know You’ve Met Your Twin Flame?

A woman kissing her partner on the head showing affection
Unsplash / Justin Follis

So what are the signs that you've found the one?

“When you first meet your twin flame there will be almost this instant feeling that you have met them before,” says Kate. “The mental, emotional and physical connection will be quite high and it will seem like your whole life has led to this moment of meeting.” 

Megan Fox agreed that she felt the twin flame connection immediately, but this isn't always the case, and Elle points out that there are no typical signs that occur when you first meet your twin flame that can’t also be experienced when you meet your soulmate.

She explains the only way to know for sure if someone is your twin flame is once the twin flames have had what she calls ‘soul recognition’ - and this is out of your control. 

“This is when the soul recognises itself within the physical body of the other twin flame,” she explains. “This is not a conscious decision, and there are no physical feelings associated with this moment. What this does, however, is activate the polarised energies within the twin flames.”

When this happens, you’ll experience a period of intense feelings and attraction to your twin flame, which will result in several signs that you’ve found your twin flame.

1. Persistent Thoughts 

Elle says you won’t be able to stop thinking about your twin flame and won’t be able to focus on anything else in your life. 

2. Core Wound Pain

Not as dramatic as it sounds, this is a feeling in your heart area, ranging from a light fluttering feeling, that you’ll likely be familiar with, to a more intense, dramatic feeling of pain. It’s harmless though, so don’t fret if you feel it strongly.

3. Doubt

It seems unfeasible that you’d feel doubt about your twin flame, but Elle reassures that it’s completely normal. “Every single person who is on the twin flame journey experiences doubt that the other person is their twin flame,” she says. “They know on the deepest level of themselves that they are, but the doubt creeps in, nonetheless.” 

Kate points out that after meeting your twin flame, you’re likely to go through immense changes in your lives, because growing and evolving is a key element to twin flame connections. “This is because the purpose of the twin flame relationship isn't just to be together, but to help wake each other up,” she says.

In a twin flame relationship you will grow as a person, and feel self love. Kate explains that twin flames aren't just about love for the other, but the deep embodiment of love for yourself,. 

“The connection, unlike in some other relationships which fades or settles down, continues to grow and intensify. It's the relationship that truly sets the stage and encourages you to grow,” Kate explains.

REA DMORE: 25 Things That All Couples in Long Term Relationships Will Understand

What’s The Difference Between Soul Mates and Twin Flames?

couple sitting with their backs to the camera in front of candles and a view of the city at sunset
Unsplash / Nathan Dumlao

Many people think that twin flames and soulmates are the same thing, but Elle explains this isn't the case: “The two terms are often used interchangeably, yet they represent two completely different types of relationships. A soulmate relationship is one you have with another being. The twin flame relationship is one that you have with yourself.”

Soul mates can be friends, family members, or even pets. We can have more than one soul mate in a lifetime, whereas we only have one twin flame, and while we might be comfortable and content with a soul mate, a twin flame encourages us to keep growing, becoming more ourselves, and the intensity of the relationship will remain. 

“You won't be able to grow with a soulmate in the ways that you can with a twin flame,” Kate says. 

This is not to discredit the relationship you might have with a soul mate. Twin flames often share an unconditional love for each other, but this doesn’t mean they’re meant to be together. 

A twin flame connection will help you grow into the best version of yourself, that’s not to say they’ll be your romantic partner forever, but they’ll likely always be part of your life and an essential part of your life journey.

“I don't think we need to be with our twin flames,” says relationship expert Florence Barkway, who hosts the  F**ks Given and Love High podcasts. “I think they're amazing relationships that come into our lives and then out again to teach us valuable lessons about ourselves. 

“We shouldn't be fixating on terms such as ‘twin flame’ and ‘soulmate’. They’re not something to achieve or find. What we want to look for in future partners is compatibility, connection and mutual interests,” Florence continues. 

She believes she met her twin flame - and the relationship didn’t actually work out.

“I had a relationship that when I look back at it, fits into the description of twin flame. It was a highly intense and passionate relationship with someone who became my best friend. Whilst the relationship helped me grow into who I am, it also came with a deep undercurrent of pain,” she shares.

“The heartbreak was the deepest I've ever felt. But I learnt so much about myself and was able to heal a lot of childhood trauma with my therapist because of this relationship. So there are absolutely no regrets. It reinforced to me the extreme nature of what a twin flame connection could be!”

When Taylor Swift references twin flames, she asks an ex-lover “did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?” suggesting she, like Florence, was left devastated following her twin flame relationship, but whether you end up with your twin flame for eternity, or decide to go your separate ways, you can rest assured you’ll be left a better, more complete version of yourself after the twin flame journey. 

For more love-talk, we've got some real life relationship advice from both couples and experts!