I would like to thank my brand new, shiny father in law, Phil, for his kind words and good wishes
(and for upsetting Sam on her wedding day)
Ok so before I start I think it may be worth a mention that there are going to be several toasts during the next few minutes so please could you all ensure you glasses are charged and going off what i have seen so far Table 10 may want sip not gulp today's a marathon not a sprint!
I must warn you though with all these toasts you are going to be up and down like a fiddlers elbow! So Table 1 pace yourself one of the ushers is a physio so raise your hand if you get cramp and he will be straight over!
Right let's get crackin with the knackin!
I'd like to start by welcoming all of our guests, however, as with all occasions such as this there are those we wish could be with us today who are not. So Jacob, Muriel, The 2 Fred's, Ruby, Lewis, Judith, Joan and Phil to name but a few. Could I ask all our guests to join with Samantha and I by standing to toast those who are ‘Gone but not forgotten’.
TOAST - GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
Right now on to you lot or rather the "Rabble" as Sam called during the sorting of the table plan. It makes me the happiest man alive to be able to stand here and say, ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, on behalf of (let's get this out of the way early) my wife and I, welcome to our wedding, and thank you sincerely for sharing this special day with us. Seriously the length many of you have gone to in order to be here today really means a great deal to us both, It really wouldn’t be the same without you all. - and we Thank You
We would also like to mention my cousin Kevin and his Wife who couldn't be here today we miss them and our thoughts are with them both during this tough time.
I would like to thank Sam's Mum and Dad, Jackie and Phil, for accepting me into their fantastic family right from day..... two, day one was a shaky one Sam told me about back then informing you I was 30! But seriously I have never had the chance to say thank you properly – so thank you. Thank you also for raising a beautiful, on a good day intelligent and on most days stubborn daughter and – of course for letting me have her hand in marriage.
Ok now on to Pam and Keith, I cant let today go by without thanking my Mum and Dad, for their love and support over the years, and for welcoming Sam into our family.
I know it’s hard to believe, but I haven’t always been this handsome, intelligent, dashing son, who is athletic, wise and a very modest man you see stood before you. Over the years my Mum & Dad have helped me more than I deserve they have seen me through thick and thin. Mainly thick if I’m being honest, but they have always been there for me and I hope that I have done them proud. I really couldn’t have asked for a better Mum & Dad, I thank you both for everything that you have done and I love you dearly. Thank you!!
Without both sets of our parents today really would not of been possible.
SAM - Gives GIFTS/Flowers
Ladies, Gentlemen and Table 10, please stand and raise your glasses. Toast To our Mums & Dads "To Our Mums & Dads"
Right well I suppose I should now say a few words about the lady to my left the star of the show! Samantha my Wife! I’ve learnt in the time running up to the wedding, that Whenever she’s right, and I’m wrong, admit it, Whenever she’s wrong and I’m right, just keep quiet, she also has one hell of punch and its just a matter of time before her aim at throwing things improves and she does actually hit me with something.
Sam and I first crossed paths when i very kindly offered her and her crew some FREE sweets, Sam threw hers back at me as she didnt like those on offer and demanded an alternate! From that point on I knew I should stay well clear of that one! However it wasnt too long after this, I found myself stood at the bar in Oceana (classy!) trying to get a drink that she cornered me with her slurred words and ever since then no matter how hard I have tried I have been unable to escape and now here we are!
Seriously though, Sam today you look simply stunning I have never seen you look so beautiful as you do right now and I think everyone here will agree. For those who know us well you will know Sam has a nickname and that is "Princess" and today Samantha you really are! Being able to now call you my wife is a privilege I will never tire from it truly is an honour to say you are my Wife and I love you.
I must say one more thing about Sam she has worked tirelessly for the last 18 months to ensure today is the day that it is she has had some excellent support from those close to us much of what you see here today has been either made of chosen by Sam with some help from a few special people along the way and for that I am also grateful for making this day so perfect, thank you x
Ladies and Gentlemen would you please join with me by standing to raise a toast to my Wife -"To Sam"
Sam has just given me the get a move on poke so on to the Bridesmaids!
LADIES!!! Julie, Kathryn, Ebony and Caroline, you all looking stunning today and I’m sure everyone here would agree! Thank you for all the love and support you have given Sam over the years, and for keeping her calm over the last 24 hours or so. A job I do not envy in the slightest. I am not allowed to talk about the hendoo in Marbella but I have all the pics on my laptop including those not suited for the family show that is Facebook! So should anyone need copies catch me later. Personally I am just grateful you have helped Sam with all those things I really wanted to be involved with but just couldnt find the time - Shoes, colours, dresses, hair, makeup, flowers etc REALLY THANK YOU! If the bridesmaids could come up we have a few little gifts for you.......
So once again here we go get limbered up and loose ladies and gentlemen no need to stand on this one I can see one or two are starting to sweat so stay in your seats and please join us in toasting the Bridesmaids! - "The Bridesmaids"
OK nearly there! Ushers!!!! Thanks guys for all the help on the run up to today and today. Will for being 6'4 and causing the suit lady all kinds of issues, for basically ordering people around for the photos and also most importantly for the Stag warm up in Belfast keep her lit son, Nick helping Will figure out who is who! and also for being Sam's Brother a tough ask of anyone, Ari for ensuring there was some level of organisation at the church this morning, Justin for ensuring we all made it to the Church on time this morning, Luke..................... for turning up on the right day, Jimi for being Best Man and sorting out 17 idiots getting them to Magaluf and back in one piece! AND finally my Number 1 Best Man Thomas thanks mate for basically steeling all the attention today from all the ladies and helping Jimi out when he needed you!
Thanks guys Sam has a few little tokens of our appreciation for you if you would like to pop up and get them.
So.... now the optional TOAST for those who have not noticed yet there is a little treat on the table for you "A SHOT OF LOVE" if you have a Jaegermister in front of then you are thought of as hard core and you are in this one like it or not If you have one infornt of you and you are below 18 then you are in the wrong chair! IF you have already drunk yours then Big Respect use what you have left on the table! For those who have any other shot we would love you to use this point to crack it open and join me you may remain seated on this one also as we toast THE SUITS! - "The Suits"
Right So, that’s enough from me, it now gives me great pleasure (I think) to hand over to my best man, Jimi. For those of you that know Jimi, I really am sorry, and for those that don’t know Jimi you may want to switch of now perhaps go get yourself a drink go for a walk check in to your room maybe who knows either way I suggest you take no notice of anything he conjures up over the next few minutes. If you do need the truth to any stores you can find me in the bar later on I will be more than willing to put things straight. So with great trepidation, I would like to hand you over to our best man and one of my best mates (for now anyway), Jimi !