Planning Your Own Hen Party

If you don’t want to relinquish control, we get it. We’ve got tips on how to plan your own hen party without putting anyone out


For some brides, being in control is a big deal. The idea of handing over their hen party to a maid of honour, no matter how trusted or loved, can cause some anxiety. Surprises aren’t for everyone! To tackle this tricky situation, we’ve come up with ways you can plan your own hen party and keep everyone happy…


Be Open

Right from the start, you need to explain to your bridal party that you want to and are happy to plan your hen party. Understand that it is traditionally the bridesmaid’s role, so accept that they may want some input. Celebrity wedding planner Mark Niemerko suggests: “I think it’s quite good to step aside when it comes to the planning of your hen party, however there’s no harm in giving a little bit of guidance. Remember the element of surprise and spontaneity results in some of the most fun evenings out with friends!”

Emma-Louise, of Emma Louise Events, knew as an event planner and a bride, there was no way she could hand over her hen party: “I’m a total control freak and as I plan events for my career I couldn’t give up the planning of my own hen. My bridesmaids are my sister who is just 18 so I think she was fairly relieved not to have to try and organise it, and my other bridesmaid is my brother’s fiancée and she lives in Newcastle so would have been even harder to organise from a distance.” The Bournemouth-based bride explains her bridesmaids were “relieved to not have to organise it — and I think they enjoyed themselves as well!”

Pool Ideas

Talk to all those invited to make sure it’s something everyone is happy with and can afford. Take your hen’ ideas onboard and come up with something that suits everyone for maximum enjoyability.



Remember, you are planning a wedding as well as your hen party. Don’t be afraid to delegate some tasks! One hen can be in charge of collecting any money whilst another can book an activity or event. It can be tempting to take on everything, especially from a control point of view, but you don’t want to be too burnt out to enjoy your hen party!

Mark shares his top three tips to make sure planning your hen party is a breeze:

  • Tell your Maid of Honour you want to vet the guest list. I think it’s ok if you know who is coming… So if you are concerned about a crazy aunt’s behaviour you can request they aren’t invited.
  • Perhaps arrange more than one hen party. You could organise a civilised afternoon tea, whilst your friends organise an evening out. So even if you don’t like the evening out you’ll always have the fabulous memories of your afternoon tea as your main hen.
  • Rather than hand over a list of items you’d like to do, instead pass your hens a list of ‘must NOTS’. Whatever they may be, your hens have to stick to the rules!