Speech by Simon Wilcock

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Simon Wilcock
Speech Date: Oct2006
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Before I start, if anyone heckles me today I have the police van outside ready and waiting.

Today we've departed from a few traditions, including the amount of speeches, thankfully for me I get to speak before Mark my best man sends you all to sleep.

It is said that a great speech has a good beginning, a good ending, and most importantly, the two are as close together as possible.
Well tough luck! Unfold notes, pause and smile at all tables.

Seriously, I have been told to keep this speech short, Andrea has threatened to stop my ١ a week pocket money if I babble on too long. Anyone who has ever worked with me will know I'm not joking !!

I'd like to start by thanking you all on behalf of my WIFE, woah thats a new one, and I for sharing our special day especially those who have travelled some distance to be here. I know some of you will have been driving for hours.… But then you will let the missus do the map reading wont you. Pause and look around.

Thank you all for your kind wishes and cards but most of all thank you for the presents. I can't wait to see what Andrea put on the list.
There are a few other personal thank you's..… Thanks to Helen for baking the cake, I'm sure it will taste just as good as it looks and hopefully it won't sit too heavy on my abs.

Thanks also to 2 of our closest friends Ian and Fiona for their readings, you did well and thanks also to handsome Pete for ushering people to wherever they would fit!

Ok who next ???

We would like to thank Mark for agreeing to be my best man. Having beaten mark in all competitive events over the 30years I have known him and knowing Mark has always looked up to me, in more ways than one, I'm sure this will be his moment to put one over on me.… as long as he remembers I never forget and… I'm never off duty.

We'd like to thank our only bridesmaid Kirsty who I'm sure you agree looks lovely today in her frock, yes Kirsty that hurt me to say and I promise you never have to hear it again.

We would like to thank both sets of parents as we wouldn't be where we are today if it wasn't for them. We would like to thank them all for the love and support over the years. For all the advice you have given us. For putting up with us and pointing us in the right direction.
Mum, Dad I love you very much, hold your heads high you've done a cracking job.

David and Elizabeth, Andrea's parents, throughout the time Andrea and I have been together have always been very welcoming, the continuous love, hugs and kisses you give me are much appreciated…… but David enough is enough, don't worry, she is not coming back. But seriously you should be very proud today. I promise I will look after your daughter forever.
Finally I would like to thank the lady of the day, my wife Andrea, who is also my best friend, you look amazing today. I am the luckiest bloke I know. The 9 years we have been together have flown and that's because we are perfectly matched. You agreed to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me. You have accepted me for the man and very often the child I just can't help being ……..and for that I am truly grateful. You've got a natural way that makes everyday a joy to be with you. I promise you I will do everything humanly possible to keep you safe and happy at all times.

If I may quote a historic figure :

When asked what marriage is like, Homer Simpson responded:

“Marriage is like being married to your best friend.”

“But he lets you play with his boobs.”

And so I'll apply a little knowledge I've gained from living with Andrea so far

– Whenever you're wrong, admit it whenever you're right, shut up.… which at this point I think I will.

To all of you very special people, hand picked from our wealthiest friends, may we all have a great day toast.