A bride’s mum has threatened to walk out of her daughter’s wedding if she combines her name with her fiancé’s.
The distraught bride-to-be took to Mumsnet to share her concerns, explaining that she and her fiancé had decided to merge their surnames after getting married.
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She wrote: “I’m getting married in June and my parents and brothers absolutely love my fiancé and see him as one of the family. However, we announced that instead of me taking his name, we will both change our names to a combination of our surnames.
“This was met with absolutely fury from my family and a massive fight, followed by nearly a year of passive aggressive comments and my mum constantly saying ‘so and so thinks it’s ridiculous’”.
The bride wrote that she understood there might be a generational difference, and that she knew merging surnames wasn’t as popular when her parents were younger.
She continued: “They are totally fine with me taking his, so it’s not the changing name thing that bothers them… and they are fine (but less happy) if I kept my own name. It’s literally just the joining of names that they have an issue with.”
Despite the on-going disagreement, it was not until recently that the bride realised quite how upset her family were by her decision.
“Most recently my mum said that if we announced it at the wedding she would walk out (I’m really close to her so that would be very upsetting but also they are paying so that’s complicated too!)”, she explained.
“My fiancé has written a really lovely bit in his speech about why we want to do it and what it means to us, and I don’t want him to have to take it out but I don’t want to cause a big issue on the wedding day. Equally, I want us to be able to tell people so it is official rather than people not knowing what we are doing.”
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Fellow Mumsnet users were shocked by the bride’s post, and rushed to show their support.
One commented: “Don’t live your life to please your parents. It’s no way to live. Do what you like and let them strop about it. If they come round eventually great, if they don’t it just shows how childish they are.”
Another added: “You can’t make them supportive. Just do what you like, it’s your name. If your mother wants to have a tantrum treat her in the same way you would a toddler doing so. Ignore.”
A third user suggested the bride’s mum is unlikely to do as she has threatened. “In my experience, people like this almost always back down in public. The tantrumming is private, and they don’t actually want to display themselves as idiots in public – they want to keep the facade of ‘lovely, proud mum’.
“I would expect pursed lips and nothing more, to be honest.”
We’ve got our fingers crossed!
What do you think to merging surnames? Do you think the bride’s parents are being out of order? Let us know in the comments below!