A bride-to-be was left raging after her partner suggested proposing with an engagement ring he had custom-made for his ex-girlfriend.
The bride turned to Reddit to ask for advice after she was left with the dilemma of asking for a new ring or accepting the second-hand one and putting the money towards a house.
She explained that her and her boyfriend had discussed getting married and he asked if she was “okay with him giving me an old engagement ring”.
She wrote that her boyfriend had broken up with his ex-girlfriend three years ago after four years together. He had planned to propose to her but didn’t go ahead with it as the ex had broken his heart too many times.
“Before that though, he had ordered a customised a ring from overseas for her. I’m not sure what the actual value of the ring was, but according to him he spent few thousand dollars on the ring in total. This was not even including the money spent flying to and fro,” the bride-to-be wrote.
“So back to the present, he asked if I was okay with him giving me the old ring because it’s just been sitting in his cupboard, and he felt like there was finally a purpose to that old ring.”
She confessed that she could see the “practicality” of accepting the old ring – especially as her partner’s ex had never worn it – but it wouldn’t ever feel special to her.
“He already has a ring anyway, and it’ll go to waste if he doesn’t use it. We could save the money for the new ring and use it on other more important things like our house instead. However something in my heart just can’t get over the fact that the ring was originally made for someone else in mind.
“I don’t need an expensive ring, and I don’t need diamonds, but I’d like the ring to be bought with me in mind,” she wrote, pleading with the internet for advice.
According to her boyfriend, a jeweller had said he could only get a few hundred dollars for the ring if he sold it now, as it was the customisation that had been expensive.
The internet was quick to reassure the bride-to-be that she was being totally reasonable, and even slammed her boyfriend’s actions as “gross”.
“No girl! You’re not being unreasonable. Rings carry stories and history. If it’s not a story you want to carry around on your finger for the rest of your relationship, you are totally within your rights. Also, that ring was customized for another woman, not for you. Get another ring!” one Reddit user implored.
Another wrote, “I like to think of myself as a practical person who is also not superstitious, but HELLLL NOOO to the failed-past-relationship-bad-juju ring!”
One user laid it out simply, writing, “For this ex: a customized ring that was so special he couldn’t source it locally and flew overseas to get it. For you: an unused ring sitting around in the cupboard
“Would I be cool with wearing a symbol of their failed relationship on my finger for the rest of my life? No.
“Would I be annoyed that he put so much effort into his ex and I get her sloppy seconds? Yes.
“Like others have said, he can sell/trade in the ring to get something meant for you. Even if it’s of lesser value, it will have sentimental value for you.”
A jeweller also offered some sage advice: “As a jeweler, I’d say keep the diamond, and reset it. A diamond is a diamond, and the mounting should be just for you.
“If you think the stones and metal aren’t worth much, get yourself a new ring. That’s gross, trying to give you a ring completely made for someone else. You’d look at that thing every day, and resent him for his cheapness.”
What do you think? A reasonable request or completely unreasonable for the boyfriend to suggest using the same ring?