Speech Type: Maid of honour/Best woman
Speech Creator: Jayne Corrigan
Speech Date: 04/09/2012 16:07:25

Good Afternoon everyone, my name is Jayne and as you can see Andy has decided to go down the non-traditional route of asking me to be his Best Woman for the day. Except we all know that today that title does not belong to me. It belongs to Aoibheann, for she is clearly his best woman, and doesn't she look amazing! I could call myself the “best friend” but I think we all know that today that title no longer refers to me either. That title too belongs to Aoibheann. But what doesn't belong to Aoibheann, JUST YET is a over ten years of Happy Memories and adventures with Andy; some of which I will share with you today.

Andy asked me to fulfil this role because as you can see, we are identical twins! Actually we are fellow Magicians and we first met over ten years ago at a place called Giggles fun shop where we were both aspiring Magicians. Subsequently I went on to be a Professional Close-Up Magician and Andy…well keep trying mate! Actually Andy went on to travel the World on Cruise Ships as a very successful Cabaret Magician.

Hang on, I've forgotten where I am …………………..… Oh yes, Dublin!

When we were both struggling to make it in the entertainment business I remember having a mobile phone conversation with Andy while he was walking down the street in Torquay, in which he told me that he was considering going to Benidorm to try busking with magic. “Do it!” I said. To which he replied “But I'd have to give up my job Managing Lidl!” So I assured him it wasn't a one way street and that if it didn't work out, in three months time, he could come home again and get another job managing Lidl or maybe even Tesco! So off he went to Benidorm. And he's never looked back! He actually stayed for 4 years and it was the start of a highly successful career which involved performing magic on stage at the Prestigious Benidorm Palace and then eventually lead to him performing his amazing magic cabaret act on the cruise ships ….which is where he met Aoibheann.

Andy often tells me that it was actually because of THAT phone conversation when he was walking down the street in Torquay, that he made the decision to take the plunge and go to Benidorm, and that if it wasn't for that, he probably would never have gone! Now if he'd never have gone to Benidorm, that means he would never have worked the cruise ships, and would never have met Aoibheann! So I would like to take this opportunity to publically take all the credit for the fact that Andy & Aoibheann actually met!! [Bow] Thank You!

On one of his trips home Andy told me about a girl he'd met and proceeded to say “listen to this spelling and tell me how you think you pronounce this”. Well as any woman knows, if a guy can even remember a girl's name, let alone spell it, then she has to be pretty special!

A few minutes later while we were shopping in CostCo, Andy's mobile phone rang, and I witnessed my 6ft 4 super cool dude buddy go from his normally chilled self in to a jibbering mass of nervous jelly! Once he got off the phone he said “guess who that was?” Well there were no prizes for guessing and I knew from that moment that this girl must be something very special!

So it was no surprise to me when Andy announced that He and Aoibheann were getting engaged. Now there is a very interesting story attached to Aoibheann's engagement ring which I don't have time to tell you now, but I'm sure if you ask either of them later, they'll be happy to tell you!

At this point I would ask if Aoibheann, you could hold out your hand, and Andy could you place your hand on top of Aoibheann's. Now Andy, please cherish the moment as this is the last time in your marriage that you will ever have the upper hand!

I have also had a mug printed to stop you getting in to trouble as it say “Our Anniversary is 30th August”

And just a word of advice, from a woman's perspective, there are 5 words that will serve you well, and get you out of pretty much any difficult situation. In fact they are so important I have written them down for you.… and these are “Yes dear, just buy it!”

Now please could you distribute and open the envelopes that are at the centre of your tables, that I know some of you are dying to open, and maybe some of the more defiant ones even have!

Now as some of you may know, I have ten year old twins Max & Evie and Andy & Aoibheann are very close to Max & Evie. So I would like to finish this speech with a very special performance. A performance of the twins doing a special RAP, which for those of you who like educational trivia, actually stands for Rhythm And Poetry, entitled “Andy & Aoibheann, the story so far” .… …if you would please Barbara….

(Recording of the Twins Max & Evie Rapping to The Fresh Prince of Bel air (*listen to it on YouTube!*:)

Andy & Aoibheann ~ The Story So Far!

When Andy met Aves, It was on a cruise He thought I'll ask this chick out, I've got nothing to lose.

She's a hot chick, I'll ask for a date She said yes straight away, Didn't hesitate.

He thought I need to impress, Don't want to look lame But I can't get her a card, Cos I can't spell her name! I

know what I'll do, I'll saw her in half! I've not done it before, But it sounds like a laugh! A

Aves didn't go mad, Or fly into a rage. In fact she liked it so much, She joined him on the stage!

They travelled the world, Doing magic on ships, Andy waving his wand, Aoibheann shaking her hips!

He treated her well, Even taught her to drive, He put his life in her hands, Thank God he survived!

He bought her a ring, The ring of her dreams But there's a story there too, It wasn't all that it seemed!

Now they've settled in Ireland, With Dexter the dog Which brings us to date, When they've gone the whole hog.

No question at all, The best trick of his life, Is the magic today, Of making Aoibheann his wife!

Please feel free to keep the cards as a memento of this fantastic day. And as a gift from the twins I have a framed copy of their RAP along with a USB stick containing a message from them and a live video performance of them performing your Rap!

I'm so proud of Andy and I'm so happy that he's found his best woman and his best friend in the gorgeous Aoibheann (and that he can finally spell her name!) The love they share is apparent to everyone who sees them.

I ask you all to raise your glasses and toast my best friend Andy and hisnew Best Friend, Best Woman and Wife, Aoibheann, and to wish them all the luck and happiness for the future.

“To Andy and Aoibheann!”