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Bring Back Intimacy in Your Relationship: 3 Ways to Rediscover Intimacy

Need help recovering the intimacy in your relationship? Dating expert and Hitched Love Guru Anna Williamson explains how to bring back intimacy in three simple steps

Couple holding hands across the table being physically intimate with each other
Unsplash/Taylor Hernandez

Couple holding hands across the table being physically intimate with each other
Unsplash/Taylor Hernandez

What do you think of when you think of the word intimacy? I’m guessing when you think about intimacy in your relationship, you probably think about having sex, or perhaps getting a little bit handsy with each other on the sofa? 

This is because we tend to automatically think of intimacy as physical intimacy, which is of course correct, but there are many other ways that we can be intimate with our partner and if our physical intimacy has waned a little bit, which is quite common in a relationship, it's important to remember that your relationship is so much more than just getting down and dirty beneath the sheets.

Physical (or sexual) intimacy is a key part of a romantic relationship, but it’s important to not place all of the significance on just that one part of an intimate relationship. There are plenty of other ways that we are intimate with our partner, and lots of areas we can improve on to really feel that passion and closeness that we all need and crave to feel fulfilled in a couple.  

READ MORE: Is It Time for a Sleep Divorce?

Understanding Different Types of Intimacy in Your Relationship

Same sex couple sitting on a bed together watching something on a laptop and laughing together

Emotional intimacy is essential, how we connect with each other about our feelings and emotions is a massive part of feeling understood, safe, and loved. 

There is also spiritual, intellectual, and financial intimacy in a relationship. How we connect and communicate with each other all plays into these other areas of being intimate.

A huge part of intimacy is sharing, so whether it is physically, emotionally, financially, or anything else, the very notion of being intimate is allowing yourself to be vulnerable and connecting with your loved one in order to feel more fulfilled.

Relationships undoubtedly go through phases where being intimate can wane, and in particular being sexually connected with each other can take a bit of a dip when you are some way into a relationship. Put kids into the equation, and it is almost certain that the physical intimacy will take a bit of a hit. 

Best Ways to Reconnect & Bring Back Intimacy in Your Marriage

Couple lying on a bed together being intimate
Unsplash/Becca Tapert

Try these tips to get your A-game back on and recover intimacy in your relationship:

1. Understand the Difference Between Physical Intimacy and Sex

Being intimate isn’t all about the ‘wham, bam, thank you mam’ having sex side of things, it’s about being physically intimate. A good place to start is by touching each other and being affectionate. 

A cuddle on the sofa, a passing kiss or squeeze in the house, all of these things can really help to feel connected to each other and start to increase the physical intimacy.  You might even like to go in for a good old snog…

READ MORE: The Best Relationship Tips from Real Couples

2. Mix Things Up a Bit

Maybe you’re feeling a bit bored with your sex life together? It’s perfectly natural for things to go a bit stale, so have a think about switching things up to ignite a little bit of excitement back into your sex life. 

You might like to try a different room, a different time of day, change things up from your usual routine so it feels a little bit more exciting. Browse the best sex toys for couples for an easy way to spice things up.

3. Improve Your Confidence

Confidence is a huge issue when it comes to being physically intimate; lots of people feel like they have perhaps lost it a bit with their appearance, maybe self-esteem has been knocked a little bit. 

Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like or aren’t happy with, focus on what you do like, what makes you attractive. Have a conversation with your partner to ask them what they find attractive about you and in turn let them know what you like about them. Boost each other’s confidence, and your intimacy will increase.

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