A wedding day is all about the happy couple, but we all know that behind-the-scenes the real stars of the show are the bridesmaids.
From helping pick the perfect dress to sneaking the bride snacks throughout the wedding day, bridesmaids are basically angels disguised as best friends.
We know that maid of honour duties traditionally include planning the hen party, and bridesmaid duties inevitably involve deceptively easy-looking but incredibly intricate DIY crafts the bride saw on Pinterest. But there are some unwritten rules of being a bridesmaid that you need to know about.
Want to know how to actually be the perfect bridesmaid? Just follow these nine simple rules!
1. Always Have Wine In Your Fridge
There are very few things a large glass of white won’t immediately make better. If your bride calls you because the wedding caterer has fallen through, because the venue’s been flooded, or because she’s worried her mason jar centrepieces aren’t “relaxed” enough, it’s your duty to have some Sauvignon Blanc ready. If you’re in doubt as to how much wine to have in stock, we recommend a bottle per bridesmaid.
READ MORE: How To Choose Your Perfect Wedding Venue
2. Suck It Up And Smile In Those Bridezilla Moments
Planning a wedding is extremely stressful and emotional; it’s your job to let your bestie know she’s not in it alone and be a shoulder to cry on, through every bridezilla moment to pre-wedding jitter. Yep, even if she’s asked for the 10th time whether you’re going to keep that hair cut for the wedding. Suck it up, smile and remember one day she’ll be your bridesmaid and you can repay the favour.
3. Don’t Let THAT Hen Party Photo Get Online
That photo of the bride doing a tequila shot off a butler in the buff seemed like such a good idea at the time, but a good bridesmaid knows it must never see the light of day. If it isn’t a photo they’d like shown to Great Aunt Gladys at the reception, then keep it to the group WhatsApp. Oh also, it’s maid of honour/bridesmaid duty to set up the group WhatsApp – don’t leave that to the bride, she’s got other stuff to worry about!
READ MORE: How To Uninvite Guests From Your Wedding
4. Never Let Your Bride Pee Alone!
Have you tried manoeuvring in a wedding dress?! There are no boundaries friendship will not cross when it comes to a full bladder and a fishtail dress. Get lifting up those layers with wild abandon and help your bride pee.
5. Ban The ‘Wedding’ Word Occasionally
You’re BFFs first and foremost, a bridesmaid second. Make time to do non-wedding stuff like meals out, going to the cinema, or going to a fitness class where the W word is totally banned. And don’t get grumpy if it feels like every conversation is about the wedding. Don’t trash-talk any of her wedding plans and don’t complain. It’s an important day; it will soon be over; and you want your friend to remember how much you supported her, not made her day even harder.
READ MORE: 13 Things That Happen To Every Bride After Getting Engaged
6. Help Fake Tan All Those Tricky Places
Weddings are expensive so costs will need to be cut. Enter you, the bride and a fake tanning mitt. What better way to get familiar with each other before having to help her pee on the big day than rubbing St Tropez into her back and other unreachable places.
7. Keep The Wedding Planning In Perspective
You only have to watch the confusion cloud over the face of any groom the minute he has to pick out a bridesmaid dress on Don’t Tell The Bride to know it’s a hard task. So imagine being the bride and actually knowing the difference between periwinkle and cornflower blue and caring whether they work with your colour scheme.
It’s easy for a bride to get caught up in the little details and find herself seriously stressed. It’s your job as a bridesmaid to keep her calm, help her see the bigger picture and be ready to shove a glass of Prosecco in her hand when it gets too much.
READ MORE: The Emotional Stages Of Bridesmaid Dress Shopping
8. Dance At The Wedding Even If You Hate It
Hit the dancefloor the minute that first dance ends because it’s the task of the bridesmaids and groomsmen to get the night going. The couple want all their guests having the best time, so offer to be a dance partner for Uncle Bob, slip into your flats and get boogieing.
9. Send Regular Beyoncé Gifs
The most important rule of bridesmaiding is to have your bride’s back, ALWAYS. Firstly, it’s your job to prepare the best bridal emergency kit anyone’s ever seen: we’re talking tampons, paracetamol, concealer, nail file – the lot. Secondly, be there for some pre-wedding pep talks.
Every bride gets nervous, whether it’s normal jitters or they’ve had a nightmare where they tripped at the altar and accidentally knocked out the vicar. It’s your job to send cute puppy videos and Beyoncé gifs; keep spirits up when she can’t find the perfect venue; bitch about the late RSVPs with her (and then try to help her sort them); and remind her this is the best day of her life – enjoy it!
READ MORE: How To Plan An Amazing Wedding For £27,000
If you relate with these bridesmaid struggles, then check out 15 things you should never say to a bridesmaid and the 17 emotional stages of being a bridesmaid.