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Weddings

Speech by Liz Seward

I gave this speech on 4th August 2002. Thanks for a great website, the other speeches gave me a great start for mine and some good ideas for jokes, I got laughs in all the right places and compliments afterwards too. I'd also like to thank Kelly Robinson for posting her speech, it was great to discover that there were other Best Women out there. To those in the middle of writing their speeches, good luck and have a great day (I did! - thanks Tam xx)

Speech Type: Maid of honour/Best woman
Speech Creator: Liz Seward
Speech Date: sep2002

I was going to introduce myself but Tamer already did in his speech. Thank
you for your kind words, Tamer. As he said, I'm Liz. I met Tamer at
University, where we were in the same hall in our first year. I was living
in an all girls house, so naturally I spent as little time there as
possible. Instead I spent my time with the lads.

Before I get to the stories about Tamer, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I
would like to thank Tamer for his kind words. They look so gorgeous, even
the cake is in tiers (oh, come on – it was the best wedding joke I could
find).

When Tamer asked me to be his best man I was honoured. Since then I've had
to explain to everyone that I haven't mysteriously changed sex and the
Master of Ceremonies assures me that he's met a few best women before me.

As I didn't know much about the duties of a best man I was lent the book,
"The Best Man's Organiser". It was full of helpful checklists and hints of
what I am supposed do to, and when I'm supposed to be doing it.

One of these was "Get the Groom to the Church sober and on time" – but the
next page said, ‘have a drink’ followed by ‘leave for church’. I'm glad to
say that I succeeded in my task, as the traditional role of the best man was
to marry the bride if the groom didn't turn up. It could have been a very
interesting afternoon.

Then there was "Help the groom dress". I'm not entirely sure what Jess’
reaction to that would be but I didn't want to find out.

This was followed by "Ensure that the groom is presentable before entering
the church, and check that his flies are done up". I had a feeling that
Jess's reaction to one would probably leave bruises.

I also read the instruction that said I should "Dance with the bride, the
bride's mother, the groom's mother, the bridesmaids and any unattended women
in the room". Well I've already danced with the bridesmaids but I'm more
than happy to dance with any of the men here tonight, so please ask me
later.

But what can I tell you about Tamer? I did promise that I wouldn't recount
any embarrassing stories so I can't tell you the story of how he and Jess
met, or about any of his birthdays, which were always entertaining, but I'll
be near the bar later if anyone wants to chat.

I can tell you that as well as studying medicine at Uni he found time to
– play long card games
– even longer computer battles
– have grand prix watching parties
– and mammoth trivial pursuit battles
He also became a wiz at spinning a meal for one into a meal for two when I
didn't want to go home, so thank you for that, Tamer.

But four years of fun and one of studying didn't do him any harm and as you
all probably know Tamer graduated this summer and is now Dr Tamer Sadek.
Congratulations.

But Tamer wasn't always the smart, handsome, well-dressed man you see before
you today. When I first met Tamer he always wore black jeans, metallica
t-shirts and big boots. Since he met Jess his sarcasm has mellowed (but not
quite died), he wears blue jeans (even if he did pinch them from Jess), he
started revising for his exams 4 months in advance and is the happiest I've
seen him. I'd like to congratulate you, Jess, for the wonderful effect
you've had on my friend, and please can you tell me your secret later?

Finally, I'm told it's traditional for the best man to bestow some words of
wisdom. So here are some for you, Tamer:

Firstly, there are 2 important phrases you should remember for a happy
marriage:
"You're right, dear" &
"Okay, buy it"

Secondly, remember something Oscar Wilde said. "No man should have a secret
from his wife, she always finds out", and as your surname means truthful,
you should try and stick to that one.

And one for the bedroom. "Laugh and the world laughs with you… snore and
you sleep alone"

To you both:
May your love be like the wind.
Strong enough to move the clouds,
Soft enough to never hurt,
But always never ending.

To finish I have a piece of trivia, today in 1693 Dom Perignon invented
champagne, so make sure your glasses are full and join me in a toast to the
new Dr and Mrs Sadek, the Bride and Groom.