how can I include an absent/ill family member?

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  • Posted: 20 Sep 2017 15:57

    how can I include an absent/ill family member?

    I am getting married in under 2 grandmother has recently been taken ill and isn't looking likely that she'll be able to attend. I'm devastated and so is she. There have been many tears shed from her, my mother and me. My dad thinks she should come and it wouldn't be right without her. My mum thinks she should be in care for the few days around the wedding so that my parents can both be available to support me rather than spend the whole time worrying about her and caring fir her.

    Im thinking up ways to include her even if she really isn't well enough to attend, but it's so late in the day I'm struggling. Even trying to find a care home near the venue so we can visit her during the day or attempt to bring her up for the ceremony! I've approached the florist about sending her a bouquet of my bridal flowers so she knows I'm thinking of her. Caterers and venue are being very understanding too.


    Any suggestions? 


  • Posted: 21 Sep 2017 11:13

    Re: how can I include an absent/ill family member?

    I unfortunately won't have my grandmother with me when I get married as I lost her last year so I understand how terribly upset you must be, I am getting married in 5 weeks.  Luckily your grandma is still here so you should cherish this time and I think sending her a bouquet of your flowers is a lovely thought, my grandma would have been thrilled with that  idea, its simply lovely.  I'm using my grans wedding ring.


    Can anyone from the care home bring her just for the ceremony?  If not, have any of the carers where she is have an iphone so you can facetime your gran and keep it running so she can see everything that is happening?


    I hope you find something to make you feel happy and provides you and your gran with special memories xxxx  

  • Posted: 24 Sep 2017 18:53

    Re: how can I include an absent/ill family member?

    Is there an option of a video link? Maybe you could leave a laptop that the carehome could operate and you could find some kind guest willing to video the ceremony for you so she can see it live. Otherwise how about having her record you a video message to play on the day. If your mum or dad did it the content could be a surprise. Equally you could then record a little message for your Gran.

    it makes me sad for you that she will not be able to attend. I do not think my day will be the same if my nan is unable to attend.

    good luck and I hope you find some way to include her in your special day. It is wonderful that you are thinking about her. 



  • Posted: 26 Sep 2017 9:56

    Re: how can I include an absent/ill family member?

    Hello, it sounds as though we might have the same wedding date 30th September? We've known my grandad has been too poorly to come for some time, I have a polaroid camera guest book and was going to take a few snaps as soon as I'm ready in my dress with hair and make-up done and give them to him so he technically gets the first look of me in my dress. I think the idea to send your Grandmother a bouquet matching your flowers is lovely (not sure my grandad would appreciate flowers!). xxx

  • Posted: 10 Oct 2017 1:35

    Re: how can I include an absent/ill family member?



    My grandmother was still in hospital for our wedding (yes, 30/9/17 - congrats to you too!). I wrote her a heartfelt "thinking of you" card to open on the day and arranged for my parents to take her the top table center piece when they visited the day after our wedding. My husband (!!) and I visited her in hospital on our one week anniversary taking with us her place setting name card, wedding favours, cake, and pictures taken by friends. 


    Shes still in hospital (she's over 100yrs) but due to be discharged any day now. We asked our ushers to video our entire ceremony and when she's back home we will watch the vids and have a post-wedding dressing up day for her (and with her - she bought a new hat that she won't consider to return until she's watched our ceremony wearing it). That means I get to wear my gorgeous dress again, silver lining! 

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