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Beginner September 2018

Elopement party - can I wear my dress?

SunnyOrangeCakes94729, 3 of December of 2017 at 14:22 Posted on Planning 0 5

Hi there,

we are planning to elope without any guests and get married up a hillside in the north of Scotland. All our arrangements have been made and when I picture our wedding day I can't imagine it any other way.

My h2b suffers mental health problems and it has taken him 8 years to propose as the idea of a full on wedding terrified him, we looked at eloping and only inviting our most immediate family but quickly realised that wouldn't work. I have 6 younger siblings (teenagers) who couldn't understand if they weren't included, he has 3 siblings who are married with children, one of our nieces is the same age as my young sister and we couldn't include one and not the other, after that we couldn't not include our other nieces and nephews. We both have 2 sets of parents each and I am closer to my maternal grandmother than to my mother so there's no way I could not have her there, that means we are inviting 3 sets of grandparents... In the end it worked out that immediate family = 36 guests. At that point eloping became a logistical nightmare and even more stressful/expensive than just having a big do locally where we could invite everyone including friends.

we made the decision that we would invite no one and keep it as a private and intimate moment between ourselves with our photographers doubling up as witnesses. Family have been told and although they are not exactly happy about it they do understand.

last week we attended a family wedding and relatives and family friends kept asking our plans, when we told them a few of them made it very clear how much they disapproved. Not really sure how it came to be but at some point (under pressure, slightly drunk and feeling the wedding vibes) my h2b started promising his family that we were going to be having a wedding reception and they were all invited.

we are now looking at booking a venue near us for a week after we say our vows, after looking online a lot of (possibly American) sites seem to suggest that it is tacky and socially unacceptable to wear your wedding dress after the day you say your vows. He will be wearing his kilt; we had it made in his family tartan and he will be wearing it to every wedding, funeral, Hogmanay, football/rugby match till the end of time. Would it really be so bad for me to wear my dress?

My dress is blue but it does have a short train and it is obviously a wedding dress.

5 replies

Latest activity by RomanticYellowConfetti938, 6 of December of 2017 at 15:50
  • F
    Beginner November 2018
    Fireworkandfairylightwedding ·
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    It doesn’t sound to me that you are big on traditions anyway (eloping and a blue dress!) so I would do what YOU want to do! ? Obviously you need to feel happy and confident, so I’d wear whatever that is.

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  • MetalBride
    Beginner April 2018
    MetalBride ·
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    I'd totally wear my dress.

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  • B
    Beginner March 2016
    BuryBride ·
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    You should absolutely wear the dress. I would expect it if I attended the reception.

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  • L
    Beginner March 2018
    LuxuriousPinkCakes651 ·
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    Wear the dress! I’m considering wearing mine for walking the dogs just so I can wear it again!

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  • R
    Beginner April 2019
    RomanticYellowConfetti938 ·
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    Definitely wear your dress! Everyone will want to see you in it and it means you get a chance to wear it again!

    Good luck! x

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