Spending Wedding Gift Money on Bills - Would This Annoy You?

Hi,

I have never understood why people get offended when a couple asks for money - with more and more couples living together beforehand, it makes far more sense to do that. Plus that way, you don't get stressed about what to buy, or end up having to look through the list for something you can actually afford because all of the cheaper items have gone.

I have a rule of giving £50 if I'm invited to the day, and £30 if it's just to the evening - that's from me and my partner. Done!

Whilst I like the idea that a couple will put the money towards their honeymoon, or some other treat - at the end of the day, it's a gift and up to them.

Weddings are expensive, and many people are struggling for money for that. I'd love for them to end up with surplus from the gift money to treat themselves, but actually, if easing the stress of debt is what they choose to do, then fair play to them!

I'd still rather they use the money I gave as a gift on bills, than donating a physical gift to a charity shop because they don't want it, or already have 2!

Anyway, that's my 2 pennies worth!

Edit to add - we will be asking for money for wedding gifts, (although of course nothing is expected!) and will hopefully be putting towards our honeymoon, but who knows?! It may just end up refilling the coffers once all the wedding payments have gone out!

In short - no, it wouldn’t.

I think gift lists seem quite outdated now and, if I’m honest, I would rather gift money knowing that it could be spent how the couple chooses (unlike a gist that could end up in the bin/charity shop).

We’ve asked for money with the plan to put it towards a honeymoon, but it’s difficult for us to book anything because my other half works away with the military and I’m a teacher so only get school holidays. Finding a time that works for us both is seeming to be somewhat of a challenge. We are also currently looking at getting a mortgage for our first home togther (hopefully we’ll find something before the wedding) and we may feel that it’ll be better spent going towards that.

At the end of the day, I think that, whether you buy a gift or gift money, you do so because you what to give a couple a good start to their marriage and support them in this. If a couple thinks that the money would be best spent on bills, then I’d feel like I’ve done my job to support them on their way.

I think once you give money it's up to them what they spend it on! If it's that important for you that they spend it on something in particular, just buy them that particular thing.

Also you say they're "spending it on bills" but let's not forget that in most cases they've just spent thousands on the wedding, and probably already paid for the honeymoon too, so it wouldn't be surprising if they've got a massive hole in their finances that they need to make up with their wedding gift money. You could turn it around and look at it as they paid for their wedding and honeymoon on credit of sorts, and the gift money is reimbursing them for that. So in a way the fact that they received money as a gift at the wedding is helping them go on honeymoon, it's just that they didn't put my particular note into the hands of the travel agent.

My mum recently went to a wedding where they asked for money instead of presents and she was really annoyed, because she thought it was tacky, but I think that's just a really old fashioned view. I mean, when she got married most people got married very young and needed things for their house, whereas now they need something different. If the point of a wedding present is to help out the bride and groom at the start of their married life, and giving money to help with bills is what they actually need, then so be it. I really don't get why some people get annoyed that they can't buy someone a toaster, who doesn't need a toaster, rather than giving them something that would actually be useful to them.

Of course I'm spending our wedding gift money on bills! We've already booked and paid for the honeymoon and we're spending most of our savings on the wedding itself. The gift money (while not expected) will be used to replenish the savings and to put towards our next house.

I think if you're going to get offended about exactly what your money goes towards then you have a problem. At the end of the day it is a gift, to be used however the couple sees fit. And like HappyBrownDecor said, it may still go towards paying off the honeymoon.

As a guest, while it's nice to think that my money would go towards the honeymoon, I am realistic enough to know that it probably will just go towards paying off various bills that the wedding has caused. And that's fine by me.

I wouldn't be offended. I think any gift whether it be money or otherwise is about offering something to the couple to help enhance their lives together. If that means paying bills to make life easier then I would be happy I could help

Maybe I'm in the minority here but I don't think people should ask for anything at all when they get married. I find it very rude to request something and most wedding guests already have to spend money gettimg to your wedding, hotel, outfits etc. I know some guests like to gift something, if that's the case then it's up to them whether it's a gift, voucher or money. No one needs to have a big expensive wedding, it's a choice. So to say it's fine to use people's gift money on replenishing savings or paying bills, seems wrong to me, in my opinion. I have specified to my guests not to give us anything at all and I certainly won't be offended or hold it against anyone if they turn up with nothing. I'm having a very small wedding and one that I can afford, it's not for guests to supplement my honeymoon or wedding costs. We can't afford a honeymoon, so aren't having one.