Jealous friend

Daisya
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  • Posted: 6 Jul 2018 18:00

    Jealous friend

    Hi everyone,

     

    I'm sure some of you have experienced this before... Could do with some words of wisdom!

     

    I have a friend who has always wanted to be engaged whereas I have never been that bothered. As in I obviously wanted to be engaged but am comfortable enough in my relationship to know my other half would eventually propose. She has been piling the pressure on her OH for years. My OH and I got engaged 3 months ago and she didn't even bother texting to say congrats eventually texting 3 days later saying it made her sad. 

     

    Since then she has talked about our wedding non stop wanting all the details but always being really opinionated saying things like "I went to a wedding once that did that and it was rubbish" or "oh yes we would want that" as if I had copoe dd her. Even going so far as claiming she wants the same dress I want. I have since stopped giving her details but it has really niggled me. She's not even engaged and yes I know a lot of things in weddings will be the same as other people's but does she have the right to say she wants the same dress as me??

    I've thought about just giving her all the details first so she can't then say we copied her. She is convinced she will be engaged soon and I have a horrible feeling she will try and get her wedding in before ours .

    Any words of advice or comfort? 

  • Posted: 13 Jul 2018 15:23

    Re: Jealous friend

    Blimey - no wonder she isn't engaged yet! 

    I would just completely stop talking to her about wedding stuff. If she tries to tell you what she likes, just change the subject. If she asks, just tell her it's a surprise. That way she can't complain that you've copied her. And even if she does want to feel like you've copied her, that's her issue.

    If she's got nothing else troubling her at the moment, and is just being a pain about your wedding, I would try and distance yourself from her for a while - not even saying congratulations is out of order in my book, and honestly I probably wouldn't even invite her with behaviour like that, for fear she would try and make the day all about her!

    But honestly, even if you have similar things, the feel of one wedding to another is completely different. If she gets her wedding in first, it's no big deal. Would I be annoyed if my friend deliberately chose the same dress as me - yes. But as long as she didn't wear it to my wedding, I'd get over it.

    I'm sure people are aware of her behaviour, so try not to stress over it. Just take my initial advice, and don't talk weddings to her anymore!

    Good luck!

  • Posted: 13 Jul 2018 15:37

    Re: Jealous friend

    I think you need to be careful.  Don't tell her your real plans.  Make up something or even say "that will be a surprise"

    I fear you two may not be friends much longer.

  • Posted: 13 Jul 2018 17:43

    Re: Jealous friend

    At least she's honest with you! Let her have her wedding before yours then yours will be the one people remember as it was the last one they were at :-) 

     

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