Guy and Lea's Wedding in Willesborough, Kent

Tinder – December 2016

At the end of 2016, both Guy and I were single, having been in different relationships and suffered heartbreak at various times in our lives. In December 2016, I was on Tinder, looking for love, as you do. Up popped Guy’s profile. I thought ‘Nah! It would be too embarrassing to swipe ‘right’ as I already knew Guy on Facebook, so I proceeded to swipe ‘left’ and thought nothing of it. A week later, Guy contacts me on Facebook and said, ‘I saw you on Tinder but couldn’t connect as you obviously swiped left.’ We started to chat, flirted a bit and reminisced about our old school days and, as they say, the rest is history…

The Engagement – Venice - November 2019

In November 2019, we went on a trip to a very flooded Venice, with our wellies packed into our suitcases. It had been the second worst flood in recent history for the city. St Mark’s Square was flooded, and you had to walk on raised platforms. The surrounding streets and even our hotel lobby was flooded! On our last night in Venice, we found a lovely little quiet restaurant in the centre. We both ordered lobster pasta and wine. Whilst waiting for the food to arrive, Guy holds my hands across the table and starts telling me how happy I made him and saying that I was this kind and beautiful person and then proceeds to ask if I would marry him. He gets a ring out of his pocket, goes down on one knee and then asks me again. What else could I say but ‘yes’.

The Pandemic and the Postponed Wedding of 2020

We were originally going to get married in 2020 in small ceremony at a local Townhall in London with just two witnesses and have a party on the Isle of Sheppey after we came back from our honeymoon. However, the pandemic happened so we postponed our wedding for three years.

Choosing the venue – Willesborough Windmill – July 2022

In July 2022, we decided to start planning our wedding afresh. This time we decided that we wanted to have the ceremony in the presence of our close family and friends. We thought it would be nice to have the wedding and reception in Ashford, where I grew up and where my parents still live. We chose a very quirky, small and intimate venue – Willesborough Windmill. This is actually a working windmill, a museum and a charitable trust. We went to visit it in July 2022 and fell in love with it immediately. The ceremony would be held on the ground floor of the windmill itself and the wedding breakfast and after party in a small barn adjacent to the windmill. There is a little courtyard between the windmill and the barn for guests to sit as well. It was perfect.

The venue capacity is a maximum of fifty guests for a seated meal so we had to be very selective about who we could invite – just close family and friends, which suited us as we could spend more time with everyone.

Colour Scheme

Choosing the colour scheme was rather difficult and easy at the same time. I let my sister, maid of honour, choose the colour of her dress. She decided on red, which usually is not ‘the done thing’ as only the bride wears red at a Chinese wedding. Red symbolises luck in the Chinese culture. I thought it would be a good choice as the touches of red would symbolise ‘luck’ as I won’t be wearing red but the traditional white Western bridal gown. I ordered the bridesmaids’ dresses in the shade of mulberry red and matching ties for Guy the groomsmen. We also decorated the venue with red napkins and bows for the chairs.

Flowers

We didn’t want to spend a fortune on flowers, so bought fresh cut flowers, for decorating the tables, from the local supermarket on the day before the wedding and the bridesmaids, Lisa and Rosemary, cut and arranged them into the little vases which we bought off the internet. They did a fantastic job. We didn’t, however, want to skimp on the bouquets and buttonholes. We spoke with Linda’s Florists in Ashford, Kent and ordered a bridal bouquet, three bouquets for the bridesmaids and buttonholes for Guy, the best man, the usher and my parents. I don’t know much about flowers and just took a picture of fake flowers that I saw on the internet. I wanted different shades of pink, white and red flowers with some foliage. That’s all I knew. On the day, the bouquets turned out to be absolutely beautiful.

The Photographer

It was quite difficult to choose a photographer at first. They seem to be so expensive. I phoned up a few and looked at a couple of websites. In the end we went with Richard Grebby of RG Studios of Ashford, Kent. He has a beautiful studio in the town centre, was very down to earth, explained things well. His prices were about average. Not the most expensive but not the cheapest either. The photos on his website are stunning. More than everything else, we felt at ease with him which was why we chose him.

The Cake

We chose Lou at Bake to the Future of Ashford, Kent because she had some fantastic creations on her website. We went for quite a simple semi-naked cake with two tiers, the bottom tier being banoffee flavour and the top being black forest. We asked for the icing to be pink to go with the colour scheme and to have berries to decorate it. It wasn’t very big but just enough for our fifty guests.

The Dress

During the pandemic, I started buying online and ‘collecting’ wedding dresses. It’s amazing the things you buy during a pandemic. I first bought a ‘cheap’ wedding dress from French Connection which was discounted to £60. I then purchased two more wedding gowns which were also discounted to just over £300 each, from Phase Eight. All three dresses were ‘column’ style, which turned out to be the wrong fit for my body shape. I also made the mistake of buying them in smaller sizes thinking that I would lose two sizes to get into them when the wedding arrived. Big mistake! About five months before the wedding, I started to panic as I knew that I would not lose the weight to get into any of the three dresses that I had bought online.

One day in February 2023, I arranged with two of my friends to go to Wed2B on Baker Street to try on wedding gowns to see what would fit and what would look good on me. I tried on five dresses but didn’t like any of them. I came back a couple of days later by myself and tried on one dress. I told the shop assistant exactly what I wanted. I said I wanted it in my usual high street size and not one size bigger, which is what they made me try on previously. I wanted lace up straps (room for manoeuvre), shoulder straps and A-Line fit. I tried on the one dress, the Liana, loved it and bought it the next day. I find it easier to make up my mind, shopping alone. Job done!

One little mention is that it’s important to find a good seamstress too. I found a local seamstress in Ashford called Neeru at Pommu Design. She did the best job ever. She was quick, efficient and did a beautiful job for the fitting and alterations. I felt so much at ease with her.

The Hairstylist and the Make-Up Artist

I had a stressful time deciding on hair and make-up. I didn’t like either the hairstyle or the make-up during the trials. I wanted to look natural but the best version of myself. During the trial, my hair was made to look very curly, and the make-up was very bright. I ended asking Clare at the Hair Shop in Ashford and Helen Roche, make-up artist from Folkestone to tone down the hair and make-up. I ended up with gentle waves put through my straight hair and make-up more natural looking. They both did a fantastic job, and I was really pleased with the results.

The Days in the Run Up to the Wedding

Organising the wedding was not just for the actual wedding day itself. We had friends who were arriving on the Wednesday evening from Denmark. They stayed at our apartment with us in London and the partying started that evening. The following day, Thursday, we travelled down to Ashford, Kent where we met Guy’s brother, Matt (the best man), and more friends arriving from Germany. I had organised a dinner for us at a local traditional English pub, The Blacksmiths Arms. The day before the wedding, Friday, we had more people arriving from Spain and Hong Kong and other parts of the UK. We had organised another dinner at another beautiful pub in Ashford, the Hooden on the Hill for the eighteen of us. Our guests appreciated this as it meant that they could meet each other prior to the wedding itself.

Getting the Venue Ready

On the Friday afternoon the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, Guy and I went to the venue to get the place ready and to decorate it. It really was a DIY job. We had to arrange the tables and chairs, tablecloths, stock up the fridge with the drinks we had bought. The flowers were cut and arranged into the vases we had purchased, fairy lights were put into empty, clear bottles on the tables, the welcome sign and easel were assembled, place cards were put in place, red bows for the backs of chairs were assembled, red Chinese ‘double happiness’ couplets with the words translated to roughly ‘a hundred years together’ and ‘one heart forever’ were hung up in the windmill and the barn. We also hung up fake garland flowers in the windmill to brighten up the place. Guy had bought a set of portable speakers and disco lights to play the music playlists we had created.

Catering

We couldn’t choose our own caterer but had to use the one suggested by the venue. We wanted to make sure that our guests didn’t go hungry, so we ordered canapés to go with post ceremony reception drinks and then a sit down formal wedding breakfast and then later on organised an evening buffet. The wedding breakfast was simple, basic food but substantial. We gave our guests a choice from two starters – prawn cocktail or tomato and basil soup, and a choice from two mains – beef Dijon or chicken Caesar salad. This was followed by a toffee apple flavoured cheesecake. We were lucky in that we could buy all of our own drinks with no corkage fee being charged. We had the usual red and white wines with the meal, and prosecco for the toast. We also bought a lot of beer, cider, spirits and mixers for our bar. In fact, we bought so much, we have enough drink left over to hold another party!

The Wedding Day – getting ready

I didn’t actually get much sleep the night before and woke up really early too. My sister, Liyun, and I had to get to the hair salon by 9 O’clock to get our hair styled. The young girl who washed my hair asked me if I was doing anything special that day. I told her that I was only getting married! Clare, the stylist, who I’ve known for over thirty years styled my hair. Once both my sister and I had our hair done, it was back to our parent’s house where I had been staying for the last few nights. The other two bridesmaids, Lisa and Rosemary, were already there having their make-up done by the wonderful Helen. Helen did a fantastic job on the five of us including my mum. Nothing over the top, natural looking with a slight touch of glamour. Richard, the photographer arrived halfway through me having my make-up done. He took so many pictures of the bridal party getting ready as well as details of the flowers and accessories.

Over at the venue, whilst we were getting ready, Guy and his best man, Matt and the usher, Paul were busy setting up the sound and light system and blowing up balloons, putting final touches to the venue and greeting guests as they arrived. Little did I know that there would be a ‘slight hiccup’!

A Little Hiccup

My mum drove my little old VW Polo with my dad and my sister in one car and I arrived in Lisa’s car together with Rosemary. We arrived at the venue at 2:40pm, with twenty minutes to spare so that I had enough time to speak with the registrar to go through legalities before the ceremony started. Five minutes before I was due to walk into the ceremony room, the registrar proceeds to tell me that there was a problem. My heart stopped and I thought that something drastic had happened. What if someone had fallen ill or something? I was then told that the best man had lost the rings. Phew! It was just the rings. I thought that something really serious had happened. What a relief! I took it in my stride and said that it wasn’t a problem. We would be using temporary rings lent by the best man and the girlfriend of Guy’s 18 year old nephew. The borrowed ring that I would be married in would be a ring purchased from the shop Peacock. Not what we had planned but it did the job!

The Ceremony

I walked into the ceremony room, to the beautiful music of Pachelbel: Canon in D. holding my dad’s hand. This was very special to me as my 90 year old dad had been unwell in the 2 weeks’ leading up to the wedding. I had had to take him to A&E at the local hospital just a week before the wedding. He wasn’t sure whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding which meant that my mum would have had to stay behind to look after him. It would have been sad not having my parents at the wedding. Fortunately, my dad recovered well enough to attend, so there we were hand in hand with dad giving me away at my wedding. I’ve always been very close to my parents and my sister and cherish them very dearly. I walked dad over to his seat and made sure that he and mum were comfortably seated and then approached Guy. As I neared him, Guy mouthed the words, ‘You look beautiful’ and his eyes looked tearful. Overcome with emotion, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I tried really hard to hold them back, but it was no use. It was a very emotional moment for Guy and me. We had reached the grand old age of 52, a confirmed bachelor and a spinster, we were finally getting married, after all those years after having first met in 1980. We are both romantics and were looking for love, and destiny brought us together again.

We said our marriage vows and promises to each, with me concentrating hard in repeating after the celebrant, hoping not to stumble on the words, while wiping away tears with a tissue the celebrant and given to me. Guy and I looked at each other whilst saying our vows. I remember looking up at one point to the guests and caught my mum’s eye and she whispered in Chinese, ‘It’s OK, all is fine.‘ We exchanged rings that were borrowed. The celebrant pronounced us married and said, ‘You may kiss each other.’ We signed the register and received a copy of the ceremonial marriage certificate. Thus, we were married. I could relax after that, knowing that the rest was just party time!

The Drinks Reception and the Wedding Breakfast

We had a drinks reception with canapés whilst the group photos were being taken. I don’t even remember what canapés were served but I am told by guests that they were good and plentiful. Guy and I were too busy having photos taken and talking to guests. The bridesmaids and groomsmen did a fantastic job keeping time and making sure things ran smoothly. Matt, Guy’s brother and the best man did an amazing job as MC. We felt really sorry for him that he had lost the rings. He insisted that he buy us new rings. We declined and said that it wasn’t a problem and that he did not need to buy us new rings but just invite us over to their place more often so that we could see them.

The wedding breakfast seemed to run smoothly, and the Caz, the caterer, and her team did a stellar job in getting the food out to the guests in a timely fashion, despite the small kitchen they had to work with. The star of the evening was a young lady called Alisha, who we hired to tend the bar. She kept everyone watered and happy and was just the best!

We started the speeches and toasts during dessert with me going first, speaking on behalf of my dad. I welcomed the guests who had come from far and wide giving a mention to friends from Denmark, Spain, Germany, Belgium and Hong Kong. I was heckled by Guy’s nephew, Nicky who remarked, ‘What about us coming down from Yorkshire?’ I told him that it didn’t count as he was really a ‘swampy’ (local slang for a person who hails from the Isle of Sheppey). Guy did a short, sweet speech dedicated to me. The best man spoke of Guy and how, growing up as a youngster, he looked up to Guy, his big brother. Guy was really touched.

The First Dance and Party Time

After the cake cutting, the tables were cleared to make room for a dance floor. I changed from my heals into my trainers. Guy and I took to the floor for our first dance. We didn’t have an ‘our song’ but chose the Bee Gees’ ‘How Deep is Your Love’ because we loved the tune. It had taken us a while to choose this song. We thought about others but kept coming back to the same one. We did a very basic step and added a couple of twirls and passes but did not choreograph the dance. We didn’t want it to look too ‘wooden’ and contrived. We agreed that we would whisper to each other when we were going to do a ‘fancy’ move (which wasn’t really fancy). We had practised two or three times before the wedding. We had fun and enjoyed the dance. The song will now be ‘our song’ from now on.

The rest of the evening whizzed by. I had my dancing shoes on and was determined to dance the night away. Guy spent most of the evening in the courtyard chatting with his family and guests. We managed to steal a few minutes away for ourselves. Everyone enjoyed the music playlist that we had prepared. There were classic pop and rock hits from the 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s interspersed with a few more up-to-date hits. Most of our guests were over 40 and 50 years old so appreciated the music.

There was plenty to drink from the free bar and later in the evening, the bridesmaids, put out food for the cold finger buffet for the guests to help themselves.

What I am most pleased about the wedding was that we invited people who were important to us and who we spend time with. People who matter to us. They all got on so well and enjoyed each other’s company. What was most important was that Guy and I enjoyed ourselves and that our guests enjoyed themselves too. It really was the most magical and memorable day. I was on cloud nine for days after the wedding. If I could marry Guy again and again, year after year, I would do so! I love you, Guy.