Darren and Me'sha's Wedding in Shifnal, Shropshire

Our engagement:

Darren proposed to me just after the Big Ben bongs that brought us into 2021. We’d been watching Alicia Keys performing on TV. He left the room, came back, got down on one knee, and proposed to me next to the sofa. Sadly, I don’t remember any of his proposal as, as soon as I heard him say my name and I saw the ring in the box, it was like I was suddenly underwater: it got very floaty and quiet. I do, however, remember our hugs afterward and the look of relief on his face when I said yes.

Theme:

We didn’t consciously have a theme but we always knew it was going to be colourful! I’m a colourful person and used to have blue hair so knew I wanted bright florals for our special day. Peonies and roses were always going to feature and I found additional inspiration from the movie, Fracture, in which Sir Anthony Hopkins murdered his wife and was being brought to justice by Ryan Gosling. Not a great film to watch right before you get married but the flowers were amazing! Our florists from Big Little Things really thought about our story as they incorporated Bachelors Buttons also known as Drumsticks into our arrangements which was a nice touch.

We ended up having vintage elements in my dress, the fans we had made, and in the table names and seating plan which weren’t conscious choices but ended up tying in really well with the chandeliers in Stockton’s secret walled dining room. The chandeliers also had baguette-style glass which complemented the baguettes on the bottom row of my wedding ring.

As musicians, we had to have a few nods to our profession so the seating plans were attached to one of Darren’s crash cymbals on a stand inside the drawing room and the card box was a floor tom with a slit cut out of the top head so that cards could be posted through it. We also brought my personal PA (PAT tested of course!) so that we could use it to play our specially compiled playlist during the wedding breakfast and to amplify the voices of those making speeches.

We saw 8 to 10 venues. We knew we didn’t want anywhere too modern as we prefer buildings with a bit of history to them and it had to have greenery and wildlife surrounding it as Darren’s a nature lover. We did a lot of research online but couldn’t start viewing venues until September as many hadn’t re-opened due to pandemic restrictions. We came across Stockton House at The National Wedding Show in Birmingham. Upon meeting Marc, the former owner, we were immediately drawn in by his warmth, genuinely caring nature, and passion for making couples feel special on their wedding day. We could only view artist’s impressions of the venue as the building was basically uninhabitable and the secret walled garden dining room didn’t actually exist. We visited in early November. The grounds are absolutely stunning and as soon as we saw sheep and pheasants roaming around as we made our way up the driveway, we knew it was the place for us. We toured the house with Marc and decided to take a leap of faith, putting down a deposit in order to secure our wedding date of the 15th of July. This was a date I’d had in mind since I was a teenager so I was beyond happy when it was available for us. We were one of the first couples to sign up to get married at Stockton House and we visited the venue on several occasions during the build-up to our wedding to see how the refurb was coming on. We went from wearing hard hats and hi-vis jackets for safety to seeing the secret walled garden spring to life from a muddy patch to the beautiful venue that it is today. We even took the opportunity to film a couple of music videos in several rooms pre and post-refurb which have become great memories for us.

Our cake was baked by the lovely, Aty of Imperial Cake in Wolverhampton. We opted for a classic Victoria sponge with strawberry jam. We love a bit of cake in our house so this was a huge decision. The cake not only had to look good but it needed to be delicious also. Darren is the King of biscuits and cake so he was in charge of tasting. Aty was recommended by my Mom’s hairdresser and I’m so glad we were able to book her as she was just a joy to work with and had truly beautiful ideas for our cake. I sent her ideas of a few cakes I liked along with the flower inspiration I’d sent to our florists, Fran and Sarah. Aty also asked for a picture of my dress so that she could get inspiration and, amazingly, she had a stencil commissioned in The States which encompassed the beading detail on my dress. She used the stencil on the bottom tier and it was absolutely stunning. We opted for real flowers rather than silk or flowers made with icing and they beautifully mirrored those in our floral displays. It looked perfect with our initials stenciled onto the top tier in gold dust and it was delicious. We thought we’d be traditional so saved the top tier for our first anniversary and it’s in the freezer now!

This was one of the easiest parts of the planning process! I’d been watching Say Yes To The Dress for years so knew which silhouette I wanted: sweetheart neckline, mermaid. I’m used to wearing sparkly gowns on stage so needed something that would make me feel like a bride and not like I was there to entertain. I scoured the internet and as soon as I saw my dress, I knew it was the one. I could only find 2 shops in the country that stocked the dress so I made an appointment with the closest one which was an hour and a quarter away from home. It was the first dress I’d tried on and it was a done deal. I tried on another 8 just because but knew immediately. First shop, first dress, done! I bought my veil and hoop from the same shop and I was done! My shoes came from Kurt Geiger and a backup pair from Rose and Wren which, sadly, no longer exists, I also had backup flip flops! The headdress I wore after I removed my veil was from Rachel Chaprunne on Etsy. The rings were from SP Green in the jewelry quarter.

Darren had a very clear idea of what he wanted: a blue suit and brown shoes with a contrasting waistcoat. He went to London one day and found everything he wanted in Hawes and Curtis and Jones Bootmaker. He looked very handsome (which isn’t difficult!) and chose brilliantly! He looked like a tasty ice cream and it was such a joy to see his lovely face as I walked down the aisle towards him to become his wife.

For our Best Man, Andy, and Maid of Honour, Jenny a.k.a. “The A Team”, we left them to wear pretty much what they wanted. We weren’t overly precious! Darren and Andy agreed that they would both wear blue suits and matching waistcoats, ties, and pocket squares and my only request for Jenny’s dress was that it was in the blush family of colours. I left her to choose whatever silhouette and shoes she wanted as it was important to me that she felt comfortable in whatever she was wearing on the day. I was supposed to have 2 bridesmaids but, sadly, a few weeks before, our good friend, Jo, fell incredibly ill and wasn’t able to attend. She was really upset so we made sure she still felt included by putting table decorations, a thank you card, her seat reservation, etc. in the post to her and we WhatsApp called her so that she could watch the ceremony and some of the celebrations afterward live which she loved. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

We are quite handy, DIY people (Darren’s also a qualified plumber, bricklayer, and a great carpenter) and we’ve been featured on Channel 4’s Location, Location, Location 3 times. We refurbished our 1950s house from top to bottom knocking down and building walls, upcycling furniture, bringing our once-overgrown garden back to life, etc. so we always knew we wanted to make some of the decorations. Origami immediately came to mind so we bought a paper online and started making hearts, cranes, and butterflies. They were used as decorations on either side of the aisle, on the wedding breakfast tables, each person had a heart on their table setting along with their name laser cut in natural wood which was a lovely keepsake for them and a favour bag filled with love hearts, chocolates and drumsticks of course!! Darren also built 2 easels which held our welcome mirror which was the mirror from our back living room with a decal we bought from eBay on it and a photo collage that we created and had printed online.

We also DIYed faux floral arrangements with crystals in water with floating candles on top which sat nicely near the welcome mirror, guest book, and card tom.

Darren’s Dad, Bill, is no longer with us so we honoured him by reserving a seat for him next to the Best Man, Andy, at the ceremony with his photo on the chair. We also arranged a special table with one of our DIY floral arrangements, his photo, and seat reservation for the wedding breakfast.

Our wedding breakfast table names were borne out of places that were special to us while we were dating in London including our first official date to Waddesdon Manor chocolate festival (I’m lactose intolerant so that was a bit of a disaster! I was so hungry all day but didn’t have the heart to tell Darren. I was just so glad he’d finally asked me out. Naturally, he was mortified when I told him afterward!), our first holiday together to Psalidi in Kos which was peaceful and hilarious at the same time, and Somerset House in London when I won a competition for ice skating tickets.

We found our suppliers via recommendations, wedding shows, and online. We were so lucky to have been able to book every single one of our first-choice suppliers so there were no compromises to be made. We did start planning 2 and a half years before actually getting married so forward thinking helps, I guess!

For me, the day went quite slowly; not in a boring way but in a way where I was aware of everything that was happening and nothing was a blur. I remember every single moment. It was so nice to be up in the bridal suite getting ready and to hear our guests arriving, being greeted by staff, heading to the bar, and enjoying themselves immediately. I saw Darren arrive in the car park and he was so smiley, it was a joy! I wasn’t nervous at all. It just felt right as we’re meant to be. The original plan was to hold the ceremony in front of the Victorian turning house in the garden at Stockton but the weather was very changeable so we held it inside. It turned out brilliantly and we weren’t disappointed as the florists did a wonderful job repurposing the flowers which should’ve sat on the apex of the turning house onto the ceremonial arch inside. Along with the backdrop of the orangery windows, the planters I found online brimming with stunning, colourful arrangements, and the foliage outside the windows, the backdrop was absolutely amazing.

Both my parents did a speech, led by my Mom as my Dad was too shy. When they were at the microphone, despite my Mom announcing that it was nothing of the sort, it was like a comedy double act. They were so funny and it’s a part of the day that guests are still talking about now. Darren’s speech was so sweet and heartfelt and when he said “On behalf of my wife and I!”, the cheer was delightful and I did a little dance! Andy, the best man was a rock to us throughout the entire planning process and his speech was so well researched, beautifully thought through, touching, and peaked perfectly. I’m not really a crier but he got me that day. Everyone we love was there either physically or in spirit and we raised a glass to absent family and friends during Darren’s speech.

Throughout the day, the feeling of love, warmth, joy, and togetherness in the air was tangible. It was so special.

There was time to chat to every guest except a couple of people who we’ve managed to catch up with afterwards and there was also time for Darren and I to just be alone together as newlyweds and drink it all in.

Part of the joy of the day was seeing all of our friends and family who come from all walks of life – actors, singers, musicians, our chiropractor, the young, the old… - chatting, laughing and getting on so well. We know some truly lovely people and some with mutual interests have become friends due to meeting at our wedding.

No one was hungry, the food was absolutely delicious – Tom the chef is a genius and was so accommodating when it came to my long list of allergies and intolerances – and the staff couldn’t have been better. We were made to feel so special and there was no rush to leave the next day. The day was perfect and there isn’t one single thing I’d go back and change. We had such a wonderful day with our photographer, Chris, and videographer, Daiga, who are both geniuses capturing it all brilliantly. It’s such a fantastic feeling to be husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Ashford and we’re already planning our first anniversary party!