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Newbie Bride August 2020

Where to start...

ExpensivePurpleBridesmaid54134, 17 July 2020 at 19:03 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 2
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Hello all,

Well after 9 years and 2 children the other half finally asked me ! I still can't believe it.

I don't want a big wedding, I never have. I don't even think I want a church. I'm more of having everything all under one roof kinda girl.

I have no idea where to start and because we don't want a big shin dig I don't want to be planning way ahead, I want to be his wife now and not in however long.

How do we go about it if we are both shy, have a warm and close small family on my side and yet a large and non close family on his. These people on his side have had nothing to do with us or our relationship.

I'm thinking small and intimate. We don't want speeches, I'm not even sure about an evening so. Rather a nice sit down meal after. It's so difficult when you have the awkwardness of a socially awkward family like his. I don't want to invite people for the sake of it, after all we are going to get married for us and nobody else.

Oh where to start. We spoke about gretna green and local registry office (however our local one isn't the nicest location or settling at all)

Can anyone offer advice or input on what they did or are doing.

X

2 replies

  • HappyPinkHair15172
    Dedicated Bride September 2021 Merseyside
    HappyPinkHair15172 ·
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    Hi hun

    I'd say, start with setting a budget and go from there. Your budget (be realistic!) will dictate everything else. That way you can prioritise what is important to you both, and what you can compromise on, or do without.

    This means that you will get the day YOU want, rather than being pressurised into spending more and doing things just for the sake of them.

    The great thing about weddings now is that there is no set "formula", you can do and have exactly what you want, mix and match the things you love, and ditch what doesn't work for you.

    My niece is getting married next year, and she is in very much the same boat as you. Her and her fiance are both quiet people, and our family is close and we see each other all the time (bar C19!), whereas his family is quite fractured and distant, both physically and emotionally. They have booked a small boutique country house on the Wirral for a midweek wedding next October. The ceremony is later in the afternoon, and there will be a buffet and dancing to a playlist (no DJ) until about 11pm. No formal sit-down meal, speeches, etc. Everything is under one roof, and combined with the midweek, out of "peak season" date, it has kept everything low-key, intimate and great value for money.

    Hope this helps,

    Love, Ali in Liverpool xx

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  • E
    Newbie Bride August 2020
    ExpensivePurpleBridesmaid54134 ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you ever so much for your reply.


    Aren't families a funny thing! It's very alien to me how a family can't be close as mine are but there we go. Really struggling on deciding if an evening so is on the cards. Every wedding I've ever been to has an evening do, and o know a wedding is what ever you want but that's just it I don't know. I just imagine if we didn't have an evening do the day would almost be cut short or awkward. X
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  • HappyPinkHair15172
    Dedicated Bride September 2021 Merseyside
    HappyPinkHair15172 ·
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    I know. You do get in the mindset of what a wedding is "supposed" to be like, don't you?

    I went to a friend's wedding a couple of years ago, his second marriage, (younger) bride's first. They had a simple registry office ceremony (although the Registry Office in Liverpool is St George's Hall, so it's pretty spectacular!), and then we made our own way to the Uni Of Liverpool campus pub (we were all Post Grad Archaeology students at the time). Super simple, but lovely as it was just close family and friends and no stress for the bride or groom.

    They had a religious ceremony in the Bride's home country later that year, so all of her family could celebrate.

    My niece, as mentioned earlier, is getting married a year in October. We have had to postpone our September wedding for this year by 12 months and 1 week, so now we will be getting married just 4 weeks before she is. I have spoken to both the Bride and her mother, (my cousin) and they are ok with the situation. We wait years for a wedding and then two come along at once!

    I know that the two days are invariably likely to be compared, which I feel is very unfair, both are celebrations of love and committment and that should be enough for anyone.

    At the end of the day, the only people you HAVE to please are you and your other half. Do what makes YOU happy, and stuff everyone else! They should remember that being invited to a wedding (of any shape, size, description and shenanigans) is a priviledge and an honour. If they don't like it, then they don't have to come!

    Ali xx

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