***Knees' Australia Wedding Report***

Saturday, 28th July

My morning starts off with poor H climbing into bed at 6.45am, after spending the whole night in work getting himself up to date before we leave. I manage another hour or so of snoozing and then get myself up – I’ve got a lot to do before we leave! I pick up where I left off the night before and start preparing the toppers for my first aid kits which will form part of my welcome bags (more on those later). Something doesn’t look right…I’ve printed them off the wrong way round! I pop into work and re-print them all, dropping by to pick up a coffee on the way back. Shower, dress and a quick hoover round the house and all of a sudden it’s 11am and my parents are knocking on the door. We’ve booked a minibus to take us four, along with my sister and brother in law who we’ll pick up on the way and all of our paraphernalia on the five hour journey to Heathrow. Mum hauls my dress bag in through the front door and H’s face drops. “It’s huge” he says (it wasn’t) and I can see the cogs turning in his brain trying to work out what it’s like. We’ve planned a good breakfast in the pub across the road to set us up for our journey, so off we go. We step out of the door and from behind the hedge run half of our singing group who promptly burst into a “Good Luck” medley for us, including “Going to Australia and we’re gonna get ma-a-a-arried” (to the tune of “Going to the Chapel”). It’s hard to describe to others the relationship we have with these people. They are actually like our family. They’ve done so much for us leading up to the wedding and the effort that they made to come over to do this for us that morning, half of them being hungover or still drunk from the night before, just makes me burst into tears. Even though I’m going away to get married, I’m going to miss them so much. After a tearful goodbye, we have a lovely breakfast and start our journey to Heathrow. Poor H goes to sleep straight away.

We stop off after an hour and pick up my sister and brother in law and open a bottle of champagne

After a quick coffee stop in a service station and another bottle of champagne later, we arrive at Heathrow with plenty of time to spare. We’ve deliberately not checked in online in the hope that the sight of my wedding dress might prompt a free upgrade but no such luck. All checked in, we head to meet the others for a meal and a few drinks. Two of my aunties, who are coming out together for the wedding join us for a drink before we part ways and head off for the flight. My hopes of a last minute upgrade at the gate are also dashed and we settle in for a long journey ahead. We are both out like lights after watching one film on the way to Singapore and, after a quick refresh at Singapore airport, the journey to Sydney is exactly the same. We must have needed the sleep!

Monday 30th July

We’ve lost Sunday due to the time zone change so we arrive at Sydney airport at 5.10am on Monday. We get a taxi to the apartments that we’re all staying at and reunite with FIL (who arrived the day before but is already up due to jet lag!) over a cup of tea and some toast. I get started on packing up my welcome bags. Stupidly, I didn’t get a photo of these but they included various items to help our guests settle in, such as a first aid kit, maps and guide books, pens etc, along with an information book about the week’s events. H’s brothers (R&T) show up and I send H out with them to get bottles of beer, water and mints to include in the bags. R&T’s wives (A&E) pop down and we set off to meet the florist. Now, I know nothing about flowers but E is a trained florist. I’d originally wanted her to make us silk bouquets, but she convinced me to get a florist and go for real. Whilst E had picked the florist based on the photos of her designs, her communication up until now left a little to be desired. We arrange to meet her at the Sydney Hilton, where she is doing their weekly flowers (she must be good!). We have a brief meeting with her over a coffee and I feel a lot better. It’s A’s first time in Sydney, so we take her down to see the Opera House and take a peek at the outside of the venue.

Her excitement rubs off on me and the three of us are giggling like little girls. I receive a text from my bridesmaid, HE, to let me know she’s arrived. I double check where she’s staying and it turns out I’ve got the wrong details for her hotel (this is important later!).

We head off to meet the others (including my parents, sis & BIL who have now arrived) at a pub near our apartment. This sets the scene for the rest of the week as we soon get stuck into bottles of wine and schooners of beer over lunch.

After a couple of hours, H and I realise we still have a lot to do, so we head back to the apartments to pick up the first batch of welcome bags for delivery. I have a spreadsheet of where people are staying and their arrival dates and we work out a route for delivery. The first few bags are delivered uneventfully and we plan on dropping off the final bag before meeting H’s friends and their son for a drink. Earlier in the day, when I found out I had HE’s wrong hotel details, I’d asked H to check the address. “I know where it is” he said. Wrong. We must spend an hour looking for this hotel. By now, it’s raining and it’s dark. H is getting very annoyed because it’s my friend! After almost calling off the wedding, we find HE’s hotel and meet our friends for a drink. By now, my eyes are starting to droop, but I’m determined to stay up as late as I can as the last thing I want is jet lag on the wedding day. We move to another bar and end up having a couple of bottles of wine and some snacks, which was the best idea we’d had so far. We fall into bed, exhausted at about 11pm.

Tuesday 31st July

We have our final meeting with the venue today, to drop off all of our stuff and to go through final details. Today, I have my first bridezilla moment of the whole planning process. We had chosen to use pebbles as our place names, but are there any pebbly beaches in Sydney? No! We had two friends on a mission to find some pebbles. We heard a couple of days before leaving that both had managed to get a bag of river rocks. On Tuesday morning, I ask H what time the boys are dropping off the pebbles. “Later tonight” he tells me. Well, later tonight isn’t good enough. The venue has been adamant that everything needs to be dropped off at the final meeting. I get in a flap and H cannot understand why it is such a problem that we drop off the pebbles the following day. He eventually convinces me that the venue won’t mind if we have to drop them off tomorrow and I feel a bit of an idiot for making such a big deal out of it.

We need to go and buy some booze. Red & white wine, sparkling wine and beer were all included in our package, but we had a few rosé drinkers and we want to provide some spirits. We take the booze, table plan, post box, favours, menus, table names and the remaining welcome bags and head into the city. We’re a bit early for our meeting, so we decide to have lunch at our venue. Luckily, it’s excellent and our meeting with the wedding co-ordinator goes smoothly. We deliver the rest of the welcome bags and have a little mooch around the city. We’re very pleased with ourselves that it’s only Tuesday and all of the wedding jobs have been done.

We’ve arranged to meet our families and a few friends (who have been off doing various things) at 4pm at a bar in the Rocks called Phillip’s Foote. Our best man, Philip, visited the same bar during his honeymoon five years previously so this is a little nod to him. The boys sit outside with beer and the girls sit inside with a bottle of wine. This is the beginning of the end. After much drunken behaviour, including being asked to leave one pub, I don’t remember getting home and pass out in a drunken state.

Wednesday 1st August

H is awake bright and breezy and goes off for breakfast with his dad and brothers. I am due to meet the photographer at 11am and before then, I have to write out 57 pebbles with our guests’ names on them for our place settings. I am ill. Very ill. In between trips to the bathroom to be sick, I manage to scribble out the names and contemplate cancelling the meeting with the photographer. H gets home and sends me for a shower. Somehow, I manage the bus journey into the city and H goes off to deliver the pebbles to the venue and I meet the photographer. After a large Diet Coke I feel a lot better and have a successful meeting with the photographer and her second shooter.

It’s BIL T’s birthday, so we’ve arranged to go out for the day to Manly. On a boat ?.

Again, somehow I manage the journey and we have a lovely lunch in a beachside restaurant. I think a hair of the dog approach might work and I try half a glass of wine before realising that this is not the right approach, although I do manage to eat for the first time that day. The men go off to the pub for a gamble and the ladies take a walk around the shops. Some of us are ready to leave by 5pm so I head back with my parents and PIL, falling asleep on the boat ride and the bus ride home and settle myself on the sofa in the apartment. H is due to get the next boat back, but I fear that he’ll be there all night. I don’t care. I just want to go to bed. Surprisingly, the rest of them are back an hour later, with meat pies they’ve picked up on the way home. We spend the evening of T’s birthday eating pies and birthday cake and drinking cups of tea. Rock and roll.

Thursday 2nd August

Today is the day of our hen and stag parties and the day I’ve been most looking forward to so far. The boys have arranged a “cook your own steak” lunch followed by an afternoon of pool, gambling and sport, finishing with a Mexican meal, before joining us in the city. I have arranged a treasure hunt for the girls, followed by food and drink. In the run up, I’m slightly worried that the treasure hunt is going to be a bit lame, but I have to cater for the old aunts and family friends (of 12 hens, 7 were between 50 and 70!). I’d had my wild hen night; this was more about them than me.

I wake up with the thing that I’ve been worried about since the moment we got engaged – a cold sore! I’ve suffered from them since I was 18, always when I’m run down or tired. I instantly regret the night out on Tuesday night and the subsequent hangover, which I am certain has caused the cold sore. I have some cream, but I frantically text my sister, who also suffers from them, to bring whatever she has with her in the hope that I’ve caught it early enough.

Before then hen, though, is something that I’ve been looking forward to for weeks. The spa! I’m booked in for a leg, eyebrow and bikini wax and then a relaxation massage. The waxing is looooooong overdue and I’ve endured countless comments from H about my “1970s bush” over the last few weeks. The massage is gorgeous and I feel thoroughly relaxed when I leave the spa. I’ve still got 45 minutes before I meet the girls, so I buy a trashy magazine and walk around Circular Quay before sitting outside a café with a coffee. Today is the first day that it’s been really warm and I get hopeful for the weekend’s weather. Up until now, it’s been beautifully sunny, but really quite chilly. I do like a bit of “me-time” every now and again and realise that this is the last time I’m going to be on my own before the wedding.

I meet my mum, MIL, sister, SILs and bridesmaid at the Guylian chocolate café for lunch before we meet the rest of the hens for the treasure hunt. A family friend who was invited to Australia, but sadly couldn’t make it due to a sudden illness, had given FIL some money for us to spend on drinks, so we took half to spend on a bottle of bubbly with our sandwiches and chocolate platters.

We meet the rest of the hens and the treasure hunt is surprisingly good fun. We are split into two teams and given clues for three locations around the area, with questions at each location and items to scavenge and photos to take along the way. We end up at a surprise location, which happens to be the pub in which we’ve agreed to meet the boys later. We have a private room where we order pizzas and rounds of gin & tonics. After a couple of hours in the same room, we’re all feeling a little bit lethargic, so move out into the main bar, where the men have just arrived, including two very good friends of ours who moved out there earlier this year. Whilst I’ve learnt my lesson from earlier in the week, H is absolutely hammered. After a few drinks with the boys, my SILs and I take H home to bed. I look in the mirror and am delighted to see that the cold sore has gone down.

Friday 3rd August

As always, H wakes up with not even a hint of a hangover. Luckily, neither do I. However, I do have another cold sore in a different place. Can you believe it?! I slap on the cream in the hope that what I did yesterday would do the trick again.

We had made vague plans the night before to meet up and do the famous Coogee to Bondi coast walk. Surprisingly, a few people are up for it, although our parents, who had instigated the idea, strangely decide that they don’t want to come after all. We find out why the following day. It’s another glorious day, so I wear a boob tube to ensure that I don’t get any strap marks. H takes this as a sign that my dress is strapless (wrong again) We have a beautiful breakfast in a beachside café and head off on our walk.

I realise that my bag is a cross over the body type bag and I keep having to swap shoulders so that I don’t get strap marks. I have a quiet smile to myself that the only thing bothering me the day before my wedding is whether I get a strap mark. We end up in Bondi a couple of hours later and do a bit of present shopping for people back home. We suddenly realise that time is slipping away from us and we’d better get a move on. We were moving to a different area of Sydney, to a hotel close to the church, with my sister & BIL for the next couple of nights. I have plans to wash my hair and get my nails done before the church rehearsal. H is going to find a pub that’ll be open in the morning for the boys to have a drink before the ceremony. Back at the apartment, I’m packed and itching to go but my sister is taking her sweet time packing. By now I’m starting to get a little bit conscious of the time and am having a little bit of a stress. In the end, I snap at my poor BIL and tell him that we have to go…NOW. We bundle into the taxi and set off on our way. In the taxi, I realise how many people we’ll need to pay in cash the next day and ask H if he’ll go to the bank to draw it out before going to find a pub.

As soon as we get to the hotel, I head straight out to get my nails done across the road. For some reason, I assume they’ll do my nails and toenails at the same time, but they don’t, so it takes twice as long as I think it’s going to take. The rehearsal is at 5. I am leaving the nail bar at 4.45. There isn’t enough time to wash my hair. I’m stressed. I run back to the hotel, quickly change and shove my hair up and run up to the church just on time. I ask H if he managed to get the money out. He tells me that he didn’t have time. What comes next has been called the “death stare” ever since that night. I am speechless. I think none of our suppliers are going to get paid which is embarrassing. I cannot believe that he had time to go and find a pub, but didn’t have time to do the one thing I’d asked him to. He hasn’t had many jobs to do and he’s messed up a really important one. He says that he was busy doing “other things” although I have no idea what could be so important. We don’t have time to discuss it, because the minister is ready to get started with the rehearsal. Everyone else is whispering about the death stare. I am still speechless and take it as a personal insult that he hasn’t done this one job. After the rehearsal, he manages to convince me that our fathers both have enough cash on them to lend us for the day and we’ll pay them back as soon as we can get cash out. I’m still not entirely happy, but at least none of our suppliers are going to be let down.

Friday night, we’ve booked two tables at our favourite restaurant in Darling Harbour. FIL buys me a large gin & tonic and I start to feel a bit more relaxed. We have an amazing set meal of sharing platters – bruschetta and meats, followed by pasta and then the biggest pizzas you’ve ever seen!

By the end of the meal, H and I are both getting a bit tired and I still have to wash my hair, but we’d told some of the guests who weren’t joining us for the meal that we’d be at a particular bar afterwards. Ever the hosts, we traipse to the bar to find half a dozen friends waiting for us for a drink. We force down another drink and despite the best man having other ideas for H, we get a taxi back to the hotel, say our goodbyes and settle into our respective rooms.

I sort out the wi-fi and get Facebook up on the i-pad, to find lovely good luck messages from everyone. I go and finally wash my hair, leaving my sister watching one of our favourite shows, Sex & The City on the TV. We joke about setting the alarm the next morning for 6.30, knowing full well that we’ll be awake much earlier than that, just as we were on her wedding day. By the time I finish drying my hair, she’s fast asleep on the sofa, so I move her to bed and we both fall asleep around 1am.

*patiently waits for more*

I want to eat that pizza.. now.

Damn stupid healthy eating/ exercising regime!! Looking forward to reading about the rest of it

How the hell did i manage to miss the first part of your report ?

What a fantastic venue - you know my thoughts on Sydney ❤️

This is the best report i've read in ages...Wish there was a pizza place like that over here! Can't wait for the rest

More more more!!!!!!

Fabulous so far, LOVE the look of that pizza .... can't wait to read the rest ?

I need more ...This is so great

PS. I know where your coming from with the coldsores, ive suffered since a young girl and they pretty much pop up when your desperate for them not to ☹️

Ahhhhh! Need more!

I TOLD you you needed to start your report - I knew is was going to be bloody ace!!!

Loving it so far and haven't skim read once!

I'm usually a lurker, but had to comment as this is the best report I've read!! Me and OH met in Sydney, and we've joked so many times about just buggering off out there again and getting married.

So far so many places you've mentioned make me yearn for it - esp the Guylian Hot Choc cafe! Why haven't they arrived over here?? And the Bondi--Coogee walk - after we met OH came back to the UK and I was there for another six months; we did Bondi--Coogee on our last day there together before he left and I remember it being awesome but tinged with sadness and confusion as I really liked OH (who at the time was just this random guy I'd only just met), and really didn't want him to go home. My second favourite photo of us is on that walk (the fave is at O'Malley's Irish Bar the night we met even before we got together). I read your pre-wedding thread too - I worked in an office right next to your original venue!

Patiently waiting for more...

Ah Megsykins, that's brilliant! It's such an amazing place.

Just realised I can probably fit in the morning of the wedding with pics from my own camera, so here goes...

Saturday 4th August – Wedding Day!

Uh-oh! My alarm didn’t go off! I’ve woken up naturally at 7.10. I cannot believe it. I wake up my sister (A) and we are both in thorough disbelief that we didn’t wake up at the crack of dawn like we did for her wedding. The hair and makeup ladies are coming at 8 and we’ve told bridesmaid HE to come “any time before 8 because of course we’ll be awake”. A’s phone rings at 7.15, it’s HE and she’s downstairs already. She’s been up since 5 because she was too excited. I realise I’d better hurry up and have a shower, so I lather myself in the matching shower gel and body lotion for my perfume and get dressed into my “bride” hoodie in readiness for the morning ahead. I cannot believe how calm I still am. A’s husband, who has stayed with H, pops in at some point to find H’s swimming shorts. They’ve decided to go for a swim to clear their heads! I ask how H is and M says he’s fine, which I’m glad to hear. I check into Facebook for more lovely messages and post a photo of the view from my window that morning.

It’s about 11pm on the Friday night at home and, within a very short space of time, I’ve got 129 “likes” and 67 comments!

Shortly afterwards, I get a call from reception to say that the hair and makeup ladies have arrived. I’m a little bit nervous about my hair, because I wasn’t entirely happy with the trial, but was too much of a chicken to mention it at the time. I’ve already decided how I’m going to tactfully suggest some changes but the hair lady who walks into the room is a completely different lady from the trial! I’m not sure whether to be glad or worried, but I have a lot of faith in the makeup lady, so I’m happy to go with it. The only thing I’m disappointed about is the fact that I’d made additional wine charms for the two ladies and now one of the initials is wrong. New hair lady, Amanda, sets about curling my hair. I tell her how I had some concerns about my hair trial and she seems very laid back about it all. Half way through my curling, BIL, M, pops in with our breakfast of pastries, fruit and coffees. Anyone who has been to Australia will have heard of the bakery chain Baker’s Delight. During my first trip to Australia, I discovered the wonders of the “Cheesymite scroll” which is basically a dough, rolled up, Chelsea bun style, with vegemite and cheese. I have known ever since we booked the wedding that this would be my breakfast on the day.

I send M back with the presents that I’ve bought for H, personalised map cufflinks (showing Boston, where we got engaged, and Sydney)

a Spaceform token with the first few words of our first dance (“Have I told you lately?”)

and a booklet that I made up for him, full of advice from his nearest and dearest for the wedding day and a happy marriage.

I go back to my hair and M knocks on the door again five minutes later with a present from H. I am gobsmacked. He is the world’s worst present buyer. He doesn’t do birthdays, never does cards and usually buys my birthday and Christmas presents when I’m with him and have told him something I want. It’s a heart shaped jigsaw, with one piece missing. You’ll need a bit of background here to understand the significance. All week, H had been joking about how I have had the wedding planned for the past ten years and he was just the final piece of the jigsaw that I was desperately trying to jam in and make fit. The note accompanying the jigsaw said “Hope the final piece fits”. I am genuinely shocked but hugely touched that he has been so thoughtful. It suddenly dawns on me that this is what he was busy doing last night when he was supposed to be getting the money. I feel terrible.

It’s just gone 10am and mum and MIL arrive with my dress and the hair and makeup ladies quickly get started on MIL as she’s going back to the apartments to finish getting ready. They’re done with her in a flash and the next hour or so passes by with hair & makeup for everyone. My hair ends up being completely different to how I’d originally asked for it, but I’m absolutely delighted with it.

I think it’s about time to order some bubbly, so I send for two bottles from room service and we demolish them pretty quickly!

The photographer arrives at some point during this time and discreetly takes some getting ready shots. The flowers are also delivered and I’m excited to take my first look at them. They’re just what I wanted.

After sitting back down in the makeup chair with my glass of bubbly, I take a deep breath and tell the makeup lady that this is the first time I’ve felt nervous all day. That feeling quickly passes and I’m calm for the rest of the morning. The hair and makeup ladies are finished by 12 and we can’t believe that we’ve got two hours just to chill! We watch a bit of TV, check out a few more comments on Facebook and take some pictures with the photographer. She tells us that we’ll need to start thinking about getting me into my dress and I think she’s being a bit hasty as it barely took five minutes when I tried it on in the dress shop.

The bridesmaids and mum get into their outfits and I hand out the bridesmaids’ jewellery (thanks to Lynsey’s Designs).

I have a bit of a panic and take my sister to one side when I realise that my underwear is sheer and shows the tattoo that my mum doesn’t know about! Some quick thinking from my sister and placing my mum behind me, I manage to step into my dress and keep my 12 year secret for another day! I have obviously forgotten that my mum isn’t as quick and nimble as the dress lady and we’re suddenly in a bit of a rush! All three are trying to lace me into my dress and we’re finally done in enough time to have a few photos.

And that's all I can do without my pro pics. I'll get the next instalment up ASAP!

Oooh, you are teasing! Loving it all loads so far. The breakfast sounds AMAZING. Vegemite/Marmite with cheese = one of the best inventions ever.

I've been waiting for this report ever since i saw your cheeky flash, and so far, it's been worth the wait! The jigsaw nearly made me cry that is just so lovely! Cant wait for the rest.

Fab report! Can't wait for the rest of it ?

And boy, do I love that puzzle (where's the smiley for happy tears lol). It's how I see my OH - he's the puzzle piece I've been missing and looking for for so long. None of the others have been the right shape, but he fits me perfectly and makes me whole x

Looking forward to the rest

I never normally sit and read reports fully (just skim through and skip to the pics) but yours is so good I am reading it all bit by bit ?

Can't wait for the next bit!

*crying*

Awaiting the next installment, what a great report

Wowsers! This is incredible! Hope your pics come quick - I don't want to wait!!!

Wow the jigsaw was amazing that got my lip wobbling!!

Love it and now need to read the next instalment and see THE pics.