I'm looking for some advice or help in deciding what to do.
I can’t decide whether to get married abroad just me and my fiancé or plan a wedding here. The reason I’m so indecisive is we both have very difficult families for various reasons and all I keep thinking is that I’m going to spend so much money for the wedding to be a disaster. If I get married abroad it will be just about the two of us but I would I regret not getting to share those moments with friends and family?
There are many problems between both of our families, the main issue is his family don’t like me and I don’t have very much to do with any of them, the problem in my own family is that they argue amongst themselves and most aren’t talking. I just don’t want to make a decision I’ll later regret, my fiancé is happy with either option which makes it even harder.
Any advice is welcome.
I feel your pain, when it comes to families it can be a bit of a minefield and this is a discussion I have had many times with my Fiance too as we also cant decide and with his family being very dysfunctional and mine being huge and not particularly close I dont want wars over the top table, who to invite or not invite etc.
We have toyed with the idea of getting married abroad too, that way the family that want to be there will make the effort to come, and hopefully it will filter out the ones I dont want there without being rude or not inviting them, so its a win win.
It also means you can have a "reception" when your home for family and friends you do want to come who might not have been able to make the wedding itself.
You also dont have to go abroad, we have looked at Scotland which is one of our favourite places to visit, and Cornwall, again far enough for those we know wont make the effort.
Its yours and your partners day however and if you feel it will be ruined by certain members of the family dont feel guilty about not inviting them or pleasing them its not their day.
Or just do what my friend did, go to Vegas get married and deal with the aftermath once they got home :)
If you need a hand looking, I am an independent travel agent so happy to help you look at options for all scenarios!
If your families are argumentative and don't like you/each other, why would you regret not having them at your wedding?
I think that sometimes, we can so long for a 'fairytale ending' with a big happy family supporting us in our marriage, that we lose sight of reality. If your family is like this, it is very sad, but inviting them to your wedding is not going to provide that happy moment you long for because they are unlikely to change their behaviour just because they are at a wedding.
Only have the people who really support and care for you at your wedding. If that means just one or two close friends and no family, then that is what you should do. The important thing is that you and your fiance can make your promises to each other in a supportive and loving atmosphere, not one of stress and hostility.
My wife and I got married in Cyprus in June 2016. I'm British and she's Ukrainian, and it was just the two of us.
We were kind of forced into the situation: we were unable to get married in the UK as none of her friends would have been able to come (visas), and Ukraine was never on the cards. We considered asking my family to come to our wedding in Cyprus, but decided against it, because her mother wouldn't have been able to afford to do so, and it wouldn't have been fair for me to have my family there and not hers.
Later, we had separate small celebrations with each of our families, and we still plan to have a larger event further down the line.
Do we regret it? I wouldn't say so. The two most important people were there – me and my wife. It would have been nice to have some family, but the fact that we didn't meant we could do whatever we wanted – so we drove to a beautiful spot called Aphrodite's Rock, took some amazing wedding snaps with a timer and a tripod, and had a beautiful day all to ourselves. Don't knock it!
I can't speak for your family situation, because it's very different to mine, but I wouldn't be afraid of getting away from it all and just going it alone the pair of you. It can be pretty magical, and allows you to fully make the most of the time you have together, both before, during, and after your wedding day.
If you're looking for some destination ideas, I made a list here of some that are more off the beaten track: https://markyouroccasion.com/index.php/2020/06/16/european-destination-wedding/. Also, if you're looking for a celebrant to actually do the marrying part, I do that too; you can get in touch via that article I just linked you.
Good luck with your decision making. Long ago, I realised that you sometimes have to be selfish and do what you want, and not what others think you should do. Surely your wedding is the perfect time to be selfish? ;)
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First of all congratulations on your love! You should celebrate love in different ways. Your love as 1+1 which is the strong base to support everything that's around you both. Differences are everywhere, it all depends on how much you can bare. Family is family, myself I have something of a similar experience, for me I decided to keep the good ones close to me, the ones that keep my energy away stay away. This is one option, however all options are very real and true because that's who we are.
Do you want to celebrate your love in a very special and unique place once in a life time love experience in a neutral place? You could read your vows close to seagulls, sea, sun in a hidden pearl in a short flight away from home.
I like to say that I provide the moment of a life, time experience where I help you both to tell your story. Your next love chapter starts as " once upon a time".
Wedding abroad for sure will be an unique memory for the all family. Fell free to contact me for further help.
Enjoy your love story above all !!!
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