No children at wedding (with one exception..) How to handle?

Why does anyone, other than you and FH, need to know who is actually on your guest list, whatever age they are? That's your own business.

Once they are at the wedding, nothing can be done! Either that or your say it is immediate family and first cousins only due to headcount/financials. Nowadays many venues only give you 25% discount for kids, its a rip off!

Good luck however you decide to tackle it.

Be direct and honest. This is your day. You're in charge.

Can you make a clear and obvious age limit? 18+ only? Picking an "arbitrary" age of, say 13, might anger some people with 12 year old children. But an age limit of 18 is the legal definition of an adult. So you asking for an adult-only wedding with an age limit of 18 makes sense.

As for the 4-year old, I'd keep it quiet until the wedding or a few days before. Then 1-on-1 tell the one person you think will be miffed the situation. And if the person is on FH's side of the family, make him do it. The other option is just not say anything to anybody about it and just let them get miffed if they want to get miffed. :-) Again, it's your day. Not theirs.

I mean it’s no ones business who comes to your wedding, if you don’t want children that’s your prerogative. And people can be miffed all they want. However, don’t be surprised if you get declines due to the no child policy

Like the other respondent has said, it's really no one else's business. There is literally always someone who will moan about something, though. It could be about your menu choice, your location, etc - but it's your wedding, and you can only accommodate so many.

We decided on a no kids rule except for our four nephews (the youngest will be 10). I heard that my cousin was miffed that he couldn't bring his 6 year old daughter and I was like "so what?". Most everyone else seems to be glad of the opportunity to have a day off from the children.

Even inviting George, he might be a first cousin, but he's a three year old. So you don't have to invite him on the basis of him being a cousin, and let's face it, he will never remember it anyway!

Hi,

We've gone for no kids with the exception of my 3 year old nephew and my bridesmaid's 3 year old girl as she's the same age as my nephew. My 5 month old niece will also be there but she doesn't count really as I'm related to her and she's so small. We've not had much issue with the no kids apart from one bridesmaid who asked me a week ago (I get married next Fri) if she could bring her baby, after saying 2 months ago she was making arrangements and knowing it's no kids for about 18 months. I said no because I couldn't say yes to her and not to others and I'd had my oldest friend decline because it's no kids and she'd have been hurt to see pics of people with kids not in the wedding party, knowing she could have brought hers. I stuck to my guns and told bridesmaid sorry no, then told her if she'd rather attend as a guest so she doesn't have to leave the baby for an extra 5 hours to get ready then that's fine. She took the opportunity and pulled out last weekend. So my advise is to do what YOU want. It's not about anyone else and you're entitled to have no kids except for close family if that's what you want to do. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. Good luck! xx

HI,

We've also had a similar experience. My FH family is also huge and again it's his cousin's that have had children that we can't really afford to be inviting. However, we couldn't have a no children policy as my FH has a daughter and my Bridesmaid flying from Australia has 4 children and I certainly wasn't asking her not to bring her children. We have therefore put this message on our invites:

As much as we would like to invite all the children of our friends and family, it is only possible to accommodate the children of the wedding party. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off.

We've had people moan at us already and we've just said don't come then it's so hard pleasing everyone but at the end of the day it's your day not theirs.

Good Luck x