Funny Wedding Toasts: Ideas and Inspiration

Looking for a funny wedding toast? We've rounded up the funniest wedding toasts to help you get everyone giggling on the big day


Me got him.
He got me.
We got us.
You got that?

To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage:
Here's to good sense of humor
--and a short memory!

May we never forget
what is worth remembering
or remember
what is best forgotten.

" I have known many,
Liked not a few,
Loved only one
I toast to you"

May our children be blessed with rich parents!

Let us raise our glasses
And then imbibe
To the splendid couple
Who founded this tribe.

"Here's to you and here's to me,
I hope we never disagree,
But if, perchance. we ever do,
Then here's to me, to hell with you."

To keep a marriage brimming
with love in the loving cup-
When you are wrong, admit it
and when you are right, shut up!

" Here's to the woman that's good and sweet,
Here's to the woman that's true,
Here's to the woman that rules my heart,
In other words, here's to you."

Here's to The Bride, her kisses so sweet
she makes things stand that have no feet
she lost her cherry, but that's no sin
for she saved the box that it came in

"Here's to It,
And to It again.
When you get to It,
and can't do It;
Come see me,
because I'm used to It!"

Here's to that moment of sweet repose
When it's cheek to cheek and nose to nose
For after that moment of sublime delight
It's fanny to fanny for the rest of the night

To the bride and groom - may we all be invited to our golden wedding celebrations

May you live as long as you like, and have all you like for aslong as you live

To the bride and groom - may the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out

To the bride and groom - may I wish you health, may I wish you happiness, may I wish you wealth - what else more I wish you

Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

To the bride - may she share everything with her husband, including the housework

To the newlyweds: May "'for better or worse' be far better than worse

To our best friends,
who know the most about us,
but refuse to believe it.

"Here's to the bride that is to be, Here's to the groom she'll wed,
May all their troubles be light as bubbles
Or the feathers that make up their bed!"

"Here's to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart."

"May you grow old on one pillow."

The vows have been read,
The cake has been cut;
Let's hope that (bride's name),
Don't grow a big butt!

Here's to Eve, Mother of our race,
Who wore a fig leaf in the right place.
And to Adam, Father of us all,
Who was Johnny-on-the-spot when the leaves began to fall!

May the best of their past be the worst of their future


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