Congratulations on your son's engagement! No doubt any proud dad would love the opportunity to stand up and say a few words at the wedding.
While a father of the groom speech isn’t traditional, it is fast becoming a trend among wedding speeches.
Image: Pinterest/Sarah Elliott Photography
Because there’s usually already one dad speaking who customarily covers quite a few things in his own speech, a father of the groom speech has its own set of rules. If there are two grooms, then knowing how to share the father of the groom speech role and what to include can be even more confusing.
Read on for our complete guide to what to include in your father of the groom speech, the perfect structure and the best time to deliver it.
Where Does the Father of the Groom Speech Come in the Order of Wedding Speeches?
Traditionally the order of wedding speeches is father of the bride, groom and best man. If you’re already having all three of these at the wedding, then the father of the groom speech will slot between the father of the bride and groom's speeches.
READ MORE: Wedding Toasts for Parents
If it's a gay wedding with two grooms, it's lovely for both dads to have the chance to speak. You'll want to do a speech each at the start before moving on to the grooms and the best man/men (if you're still sticking with that order).
As both dads are speaking, keep the speech a bit shorter. Around 4-6 minutes is the ideal length for a father of the groom speech. Remember too many dad jokes and your audience could wilt a little bit!
What to Include in a Father of the Groom Speech
The core of the father of the groom speech will be telling funny anecdotes about your son and toasting the newlyweds.
There are two things you need to be wary of: stepping on the toes of everyone else’s speech and covering the same content as the best man.
Each speech has a purpose (be it welcoming guests, thanking those involved in wedding, toasting the couple) so adding in a fourth has the potential to repeat (and usurp) someone else’s words.
READ MORE: The Best Wedding Speech Introduction
The best man’s speech is a chance to gently rib the groom and reveal embarrassing stories, not yours. You must check what tales the best man plans to tell so you don’t get there first and – although it may be hard to swallow – his should be the funniest!
Here’s the basic structure of a father of the groom speech if it's following a father of the bride speech:
- Thank the father of the bride and introduce yourself
- Thank guests again for coming briefly
- Talk about the groom and share anecdotes and memories
- Talk about his partner, meeting them for the first time and how happy your son is
- Welcome his partner into the family and give them advice as a couple
- Raise a toast to the newlyweds
If there's two fathers of the groom, the structure is almost the same - sharing anecdotes, getting to know their partner, welcoming them into the family. However, you'll need to do the full welcoming and thanking of guests that would typically fall into the father of the bride speech. You may want to assign one of you to do all the thank yous or split it between your speeches.
Depending on how the wedding planning and finances have been divided, you may wish to offer your thanks to your son's partner's family for paying and arranging the day. You may simply just want to welcome them as new extended family and joke about looking forward to sharing grandparent duties with them one day!
Ideas for your Father of the Groom Speech
Image: Howard's Photo
The best man will be covering your son’s life from the time he met him, so it’s best for you to focus on his childhood and your family.
READ MORE: The Order of Wedding Speeches Explained
Some things to mention may be:
- His childhood: nicknames, school reports, memorable moments, unusual injuries, hobbies, what he wanted to be when he grew up.
- Your family: how he used to get on with his siblings, if he’s the first or last to marry, what his mum thinks of her little boy all grown up, did you ever imagine he’d marry.
- Marriage advice: any words of wisdom you can offer, favourite or funny quotes.
- The couple: how have you interacted with the couple, what happened when he first brought his new partner home, how he’s changed (for the better!) since meeting them, your wishes for their future.
- His friends: you may have known them as kids too so what’s it like to see them all grown up.
- Grandchildren: if they already have kids, definitely say how proud you are of the them and the couple as parents and if they are planning them, say how excited you are to become grandparents.
READ MORE: The Etiquette of Parents Paying for the Wedding
If you're still stumped on what to say, check out our example father of the groom speeches. They've all been submitted by real dads so you can use their speeches as inspiration or a template for your own.