Father of the Groom Duties Explained

We talk through the main father of the groom duties for the big day and during the wedding so you know exactly how to help


It may feel like the father of the bride gets more of the spotlight on the big day - traditionally walking the bride down the aisle and giving a speech. However, the father of the groom role is also a very important one.

READ MORE: What to Say in a Father of the Groom Speech

If you are the father of the groom and want to know how you can give a helping hand on the big day and during the run up, take a look at some key father of the groom duties that will really help the happy couple.

Parents Paying For Wedding

Image: Ivory Fayre Photography

Offer Emotional Support

Don’t underestimate the value of being an emotional support during the wedding planning process. Your son is planning the biggest day of his life and that is bound to be stressful. You can offer emotional support in a variety of ways - being there to talk to, giving your opinions (when asked!) or simply going out together for a walk or a trip to the pub to take his mind of the stresses of wedding planning.

Help Pay for the Wedding

Although it is tradition for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding, it’s a rare occurrence that the bride’s parents foot the entire bill for the big day. The most common option is for both sets of parents to contribute what they wish and then the couple pay the remaining amount. If you would like to help out financially then tell your son and future daughter-in-law early on in the planning process so they can build it into their budget.

READ MORE: Parents Paying for the Wedding: Etiquette and Advice

Keep Everyone Calm

The morning of the wedding the bride, groom, father of the bride and best man may all be feeling a bit nervous. As father of the groom you have the exciting role of being a part of the wedding party without any speeches or too much pressure, so as one of the more relaxed members of the bridal party make it your role to help keep everyone calm with words of encouragement - and be ready with the drinks if all else fails!

Help Greet the Guests

It will be difficult for the happy couple to greet every single person at their wedding so make the effort to speak to lots of the wedding guests. As father of the groom you are basically a wedding celeb for the day and the other wedding guests will appreciate you giving them your time.

Consider Offering to Give a Toast

Father of the groom toast

If the father of the bride is giving a traditional speech then you may not want to tread on his toes but there is certainly nothing wrong with offering to give a toast on the big day. If you would really like to say a few words on the wedding day then offer your public speaking services to the happy couple and if they are happy for you to make a short speech or toast on the day then go for it!

If your son is marrying a man then you might want to mix up the speech rules and both fathers of the groom give a speech. Talk to your son, his partner and his future in-laws to see what would work on the day. You may both do a seperate father of the groom speech, one of you may simply give a toast or you might want to write something together.

Dance with the Bride

When the dancing begins make the effort to have at least one dance with the beautiful bride, it’s a lovely way to welcome her into your family and it will be a really special moment that you will both remember.

Top Tips for the Father of the Groom

Father of the groom card

Image: Father of the Groom Card by Slice of Pie Designs

Offer to Help

The father of the groom role is far less rigid than the father of the bride role, so you may need to actively offer your help so they couple realise you are happy and willing to help.

READ MORE: Thank You Gifts for the Father of the Groom

Don’t Take Offence

If you offer to make a speech or play a particular role in the wedding and your son says no, try not to take offence. There are lots of people to please and the couple may want to give important jobs to a few different people, it doesn't make your place in the wedding party any less important.

Spend Time with Your Son and Future Son or Daughter-in-Law in the Run Up to the Wedding

Make some extra effort to spend time with the couple as they are planning their big day, they may be under stress that you didn’t realise and spending time in each other’s company will help you be more understanding and means they may be more likely to ask you for help.

Get to Know the In-Laws

If you don’t already know your son’s partner’s family then now would be a good time to get to know them. After the engagement, why not invite them for dinner or have a casual lunch meet-up in a pub or restaurant. You don’t have to be BFF’s but it will make everyone more relaxed on the big day if you already know each other well.

Now you know how to be the perfect father of the groom, take a look at some of our favourite romantic quotes that may be perfect for your toast.


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