How to Avoid Wedding Guest List Politics

Make sure you and your other half are on the same page before you start writing your wedding invitations...


Deciding to get married is one of the happiest and most momentous occasions in most people’s lives. However, the giddiness might grow feint when engaged couples are faced with the wedding planning realities of family politics.

Wedding size can be a controversial consideration for some couples. One partner may want a small, intimate wedding, while the other may want to shout from the rooftops that they are getting married and send wedding invitations to the entire world to witness their happiness.

It is essential for couples to discuss their dreams on the one hand and their means on the other. What kind of wedding have you and your groom always wanted? Who is so important that you could not get married without them present? Sharing these thoughts with your loved one will help you decide on what is important before the wedding planning starts to take over.

The budget is the most important consideration when considering the guest list. You may be tempted to send wedding invitations to everyone you have ever known, but chances are you will regret it when you start off your newlywed life having blown the budget. Be sure to only invite as many people as are within your means and check out your chosen wedding venue thoroughly to ensure that all your guests can fit in comfortably.

Of course leaving people off the wedding invitation list could create some sticky situations. While people’s feelings should be considered, couples should feel confident that the most important part of the wedding is that they are celebrating their love - and the opinions of a distant relative who you met once when you were three should not taint that. A good compromise is to invite a close-knit number of people to the ceremony and the wedding breakfast, and invite more people to the reception.

It helps to know who you definitely do not want at your wedding. Are you inviting exes? What about an acquaintance who gets embarrassing when he drinks too much? Do not send wedding invitations to people who will stress you out on your big day.

Many couples create an A and B list to help them manage their guest list. Once you have sent out invitations to you’re A-list guests, you will be able to determine how many extra people you can invite from your B list when you begin to receive acceptances and declinations. However, you need to be sensitive to whether people on the B-list — who receive invitations later on — will feel insulted if they were to find out they did not make the cut the first time round.

Creativity goes a long way when it comes to navigating the politics of wedding invitations. If your budget does not allow for workmates to be invited, be open and honest about it and perhaps suggest after-work drinks to celebrate your nuptials instead.

Wedding invitations should be sent between six and eight weeks before the big day, but save the date cards are a good idea if your guests need to make special travel and accommodation arrangements.


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