If you’re madly in love with your partner, and you feel ready for the next step in your relationship, waiting for a proposal can be a nail-biting time. So how do you get your partner to propose?
There are probably many reasons why your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t asked you to marry them yet, but if you’re sure they are “the one”, there are a few little tricks you could try to encourage a perfect marriage proposal…or at least to make your own intentions clear without embarrassing yourself.
Read on to find out how to get a perfect marriage proposal – and with any luck, your partner will be thinking of ways to propose and be down on one knee before too much longer.
Are you ready to get married?
Before you make a move towards a marriage proposal, ask yourself if you are definitely ready. Think about how long you’ve been together and how you really feel about your partner – and think carefully about any comments or opinions your partner has shared about marriage.
If you’re in the middle of a whirlwind romance, try not to rush things or expect too much too soon. The first flush of love can be exhilarating and intense, but marriage is a long-term consideration. If your partner is a cautious, sensible or traditional person – or just wants time to save up for an amazing ring – they may want to wait a while, no matter how strong their feelings are. Patience is a virtue, and biding your time in this situation is wise.
Put marriage on the agenda
Talking about marriage is a great way to get your partner thinking about a proposal. If the subject of marriage has never come up, direct the conversation towards it: do you have any friends or family members that are getting married? Are there any books or TV storylines you can talk about that deal with the subject? You could watch a romantic film together that ends with a dramatic proposal – or, if you’re not a particularly romantic couple, nuptial-themed comedies like Bridesmaids and The Hangover introduce the subject of marriage in a really fun – and outrageous – way; and they both have happy endings!
The delay in your partner’s proposal may be due to fear of rejection; when you do introduce the subject of marriage, be clear about the fact that you love the idea: trying to “play it cool” could simply confuse the issue and send out mixed signals.
Use The Proposers’ “Hint Hint” service
If you want to put your partner in the picture without raising the subject of marriage yourself, proposal planners The Proposers have a very nifty service you can use for free. They will send your partner a “random” marketing email containing proposal pointers and inspiring stories. Your partner won’t be able to trace the email back to you, and it might just provide the nudge required to prompt a proposal.
Talk to your partners’ friends and family
To avoid making your partner feel like he/she is being interrogated on the subject, you could try talking to friends and family. Make sure you broach the subject with people you have a good relationship with: if your partner’s mum is always rude to you, for example, it’s not a wise move to start grilling her on whether or not their son or daughter is the marrying kind!
Raise the issue subtly with someone you trust and canvas opinion from more than one person if possible. If you get the impression that a proposal is on the cards, you’ll have the confidence to drop a few stronger hints about your own intentions to accept – but if you find out that marriage is not on his/her mind, you can decide how to address the subject with your partner tactfully and sensitively to find out why.
The circle of truth
Talking about an engagement ring is the most obvious way you can drop a hint – and if you’re pretty sure that your partner wants to propose, it’s a great way of indicating your preferences. You could share a Facebook photo of a friend’s ring to start the conversation – pointing out what you do and don’t like, and how your dream ring would differ – or spend the afternoon shopping in an area where there are plenty of jewellers’ windows to browse.
They say that honesty is the best policy and, if you have tried the furtive tips above to no avail, it may be time to have an honest, upfront conversation with your partner. Everyone loves the idea of romance, but there is no point torturing yourself for months, agonising over whether or not it is ever going to happen; it’s better to know. And if marriage is a deal-breaker for you, it’s good to be clear on the prospects before you go any further in the relationship.
You don’t have to make a huge deal of this; there’s no need to set up a candlelit dinner, or a weekend away, in order to raise the issue. Just pick a peaceful, intimate moment when you are alone with space to talk, and ask him/her directly where they stand on getting married. If your partner is keen, but just hasn’t got around to proposing yet, simply tell them that you cannot wait for it to happen. This should give them the confidence to propose as soon as they are ready.
Once you’ve had the chat, leave the subject alone: don’t press them for details on when or where. Applying pressure will just make them nervous – and it might spoil their proposal plans. By leaving them to it, you can still enjoy an element of surprise when the magic moment finally happens.
Do it yourself
If you are absolutely sure you want to marry your partner, why not pop the question yourself? There are no hard and fast rules about who should propose to who anymore: and if you’re a woman proposing to a man, it’s just as romantic and meaningful if you do the asking. If you need some inspiration then read up on our 100 favourite proposal stories.
If you are a stickler for doing things the old-fashioned way, don’t forget that 2016 is a leap year. On Monday February 29 you have a golden opportunity to propose to your man without breaking any wedding traditions.