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Savvy October 2021 Oxfordshire

What would you do? In laws

ExpensiveGreenDiamonds59574, 19 of October of 2020 at 13:09 Posted on Planning 0 3
I have no relationship with my in laws. It started out badly ( his mum doesn’t want to share her precious son) and well I’m not rich enough or white for his dad. It’s been a host of casual racist comments and lying about me and telling everyone they can find I’m a gold digger. Funnily enough they are the only people who have a problem with me. I’ve been ambushed at family events and it’s just been a shit show with me finally just telling them a piece of my mind and going no contact. Initially we were going to elope and not invite anyone partially because I had no relationship with his family and me wanting a beach wedding. Then corona happened so we chose a small wedding. When they heard about the wedding, things got worse and they decided to have like an intervention type family meeting with his brothers and their wives to decide if they wanted to come. I hated the entire idea but my OH was trying everything to still have a relationship with his family. They convinced him that the entire family had to be there so we needed a different venue to have a bigger wedding. So now we’re planned a big do but of course that’s not changed the relationship with them and it’s gotten worse. His dad keeps making little digs saying none of his family want to come the wedding. It’s really starting to affect my OH and I can tell he’s hurt. I know he’ll be really hurt and I think the relationship with his family will end if they don’t come. But I can’t bear the thought of him spending the next year wondering if they will come. I’m considering just telling him to let us cancel. I did suggest not inviting them so he doesn’t have to go through this but he really wants them there.

3 replies

Latest activity by Laura, 20 of October of 2020 at 07:42
  • Voiceoftruth
    Dedicated October 2021 Oxfordshire
    Voiceoftruth ·
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    If I were in this situation, I'd suggest eloping without leaving the country - not as good as going overseas for it, but at least then you could stick with the original plan far enough to not have his family at the wedding.

    Or elope anyway - you'd have to spend a lot longer away due to quarantining, or you'd have to elope somewhere deemed relatively safe... but on the whole, if his family are causing this much of an issue, better to be in a position where they don't have to be invited anywhere!

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    Rockstar June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    I don’t understand why your OH would even want them there when they don’t like you. As the above person said, elope. You could go to Gretna green in Scotland, just the 2 of you.
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  • L
    Beginner October 2020 Berkshire
    Laura ·
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    I would elope! Your wedding is about you and your OH and not them.
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