Chat and get advice from other brides-to-be.
Hey all, Just looking for some reassurance more than anything. Our caterers don't offer a choice of meal as standard (they will cater for vegetarians or dietary restrictions but we can't offer a choice to all 130 guests. We pick one starter, one main, one dessert for everyone, and a vegetarian meal if anyone is a veggie). If we wanted to give a choice of 2 options for each course it would cost an extra £5 per person, which doesn't seem a lot but our caterers are already VERY expensive (we are paying just under £20,000 in total for canapés, wedding breakfast and evening food for 130 guests. This doesn't include drinks). So I'm really loathe to pay £5 per person just to give people a choice.I just worry that people will think it's odd not getting a choice of what to eat. My brother commented that 'surely it's normal to get to choose' - and it made me wonder if he's right. What is everyone else doing for their wedding breakfast? Are some of you also not offering a choice to guests? Will guests care? We've thought a lot about the food and we're really excited about what we've chosen and I'm pretty sure most people will enjoy it. Basically I'm from Essex and H2B is from Sussex, so we're having traditional East End Pie 'n' Mash, with 2 types of gravy in jugs on the table for guests to choose from - the traditional parsley gravy ('liquor') and normal brown beef gravy. The normal beef gravy will represent H2B's upbringing in Sussex - lots of homely, comforting food - and obviously the liquor represents me from Essex. The caterer has said that if there's the odd fussy eater that the waiters can see isn't eating their meal, they will discreetly offer a chicken meal (they always have chicken in the kitchen to serve in this instance), which I think is really good, and that's why I don't think we need to offer a choice really.Really appreciate everyone's honest thoughts on this!ThanksGeorgie
We're just serving one option. I think most guests will just be grateful of a meal, plus you're not serving anything obscure, who doesn't love pie and mash! Dietary requirements are different, but were not too worried about any fussy eaters, at the end of the day we've paid a lot of money for them to come and enjoy food and wine on us. I've mostly been to weddings where I've only had one meal option too - I don't remember any other guests complaining :)
It's perfectly normal to just have one option, I am. I have only been to one wedding where we had a choice of A or B for each course -which we had to order in advance when we sent our RSVP.
Going for a failsafe, like pie or in my case just a roast beef dinner (tomato soup to start and profiteroles for pud) is the best option to be honest. Sure some people like to show off how posh and sophisticated their wedding is by having a really unusual meal, but (In my dad's words) "poncy" food doesn't always get eaten, if you're buying 100 dinners for people, you have to make sure they're going to eat it!
Also... RSVPs are stressful enough, imagine having to chase people's yes or no's and then trying to pin down their meal choices too!
Thanks for the reassurance both of you, this really helps. I didn't think it was odd to only offer one choice but I think I started second guessing everything especially after my brother's comment. I completely agree about the 'poncey' food - we're getting married in a super elegant, grand venue so we've decided to do a total juxtaposition with the food and go for real homey, comfort food which will be really unexpected given the venue. Hoping it goes down well, we're super excited!
Don't worry, I honestly don't think I've ever been to a wedding where I've had a choice of food, unless it was a buffet.
We're not offering choices either. I think nowadays people realise that weddings are expensive and stressful so are happy with what they're given! Also, Pie and mash? YUM! I'd be really happy with that if I was at your wedding! :)
Don't worry and enjoy! x
I think pretty much my only wedding regret was offering people a choice of food. I'd initially wanted to take the 'like it or lump it' approach (obviously allowing for diet but not giving a choice), but I was convinced by others that offering a choice was the correct thing to do.
It was a nightmare, we had fish and a veg option and I had no idea how many people didn't like fish and gave us so much grief for it, as it meant they had to suffer a veg option. Honestly some people acted like it was the worst offense to force them to have a meatless meal because we chose to have fish as the meat option??The worst offender though complained via OHs mum (didn't come to us direct) to say he didn't like fish or veg, so he'll have the chicken or beef?? There was no chicken or beef??
Anyway end of rant...
I think Pie/mash and gravy sounds amazing, but I eat pretty much anything, and the backup chicken sounds good. However, I wouldn't make it known on the invites, otherwise you'll get people asking for different options/complaining about it! If they get served pie/mash on the day and they don't like it, no one will say anything to you!! I think offering choices only works if you offer a lot of choices, which I found out the hard way, as we easily could have offered more bt naively thought it wouldn't be an issue!
Ive never been to a wedding where I've been offered anything other than a meat/fish or veggie option. I don't think people really expect to be offered a choice, at the end of the day its a free meal!
Also pie and mash sounds amazing. Just what they need to set them up for a night of partying!
Met : April 2013
Engaged : May 2016
Getting Married: March 2018
£20,000 split between 130 is over £150 each... for that price Id damn well want a bloody choice
Sorbet - that's kind of irrelevant and not what the original poster was asking. Clearly a choice isn't an option with the package they have so she was just asking if it's ok not to have a choice. She didn't ask for opinions on the package or prices.
Thanks FutureMrsT123; you're right, that's not what I was asking at all. The only reason I mentioned the cost is because I'm reluctant to pay extra on top of that just to give people a choice.Yes, my caterers are expensive but they're amazing and I'm happy with them. My venue is a complete dry hire so the total catering cost actually includes all of the staff, tableware, bar set up, event manager etc. It's not just the cost of the food! The cost of the food works out at about £55 per head for canapés and 3 course meal, plus evening food on top.
Sorbet - as a wedding guest you wouldn't know how much the catering has cost so it's an irrelevant point to make. I just wanted to know how you would feel as a guest if you were presented with a meal and wasn't given a choice beforehand. It seems from most peoples' advice that this is kind of the norm with weddings anyway so all good! Thanks again for all your reassurance everyone!
Ive opted out of doing a wedding breakfast (my family are a nuisance) instead we are having afternoon tea, mainly because I love tea :). The only choice my guests are having is what sandwich to pick from 3 different flavours.
Ive never been to a wedding that has a choice, but remember its your day and its what you want especially as you are paying for it
I've been to both types of weddings in the last few years - choice and no choice. I think it is nice to offer the choice if you're able to (we want to offer the choice via RSVPs if the cost isn't much different when we make those decisions) but at the same time, I've never expected to have the choice as a guest and always have been happy with just being given three courses!
At the end of the day, its a wedding, not a restaurant!! I don't think guests will care - you may be unlucky and get the odd ones that do but chances are (hopefully) they won't say anything to your face on the day!
As others have said, it is normal to not be offered a choice and the fact that your caterers will offer an extra dish to people not eating is really nice! Hopefully people don't see this happen too much and all start requesting it though, they shouldn't as pie and mash sounds lovely and having the choice of liquor and normal gravy will help any "fussy" eaters - but unfortunately you can't please everyone no matter what you do - go with what you both want as you are the ones paying for it!
I think what you're doing sounds perfect! We've been to weddings with and without choices and don't mind either. As someone with dietary requirements the only thing I'm bothered about is having SOME food I can eat! :)
We're offering choices, but only because we can do so without any additional costs at our venue.
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