to hymn or not to hymn?

What's his reasoning?

If he doesn't want any "religious stuff" in a church wedding, to be honest I'd be questioning why a church wedding in the first place.

Do you agree with him?

Hymns every time! We can't have a church wedding (for reasons I won't go into) but one the things I will really miss during our civil ceremony are the hymns.

Ask if the church has a choir - they can add a lot of volume to the singing if your OH is a bit worried that it'll sound a bit quiet!

A church service and no hymns just doesnt sit right, I mean its your day and you get the final say but to me it just wouldnt be the same, we have condensed the number of hymns to having only 2 I think the norm is about 3, I've know people to go for 4, but your vicar would certainly influence that you have hymns if not just presume that you are.

I went to a wedding recently where there were no hymns and I thought it would be a bit weird but actually, it was fine. The vows are the important bit ?

It kind of depends on the reasons behind it, is he worried that people won't like to sing or does he not like the religious-ness of it? We are having two carols (so that people will sing) and one hymn because I still want it to be a wedding and not a carol service. (We get married 23rd December)

The church bit is because of me, and i like hymns as I would have 2.

I thinks it because of the singing bit, that he doesnt like (he thinks hes a mans man)

im not sure what to do, i think hes trying to save money aswell, as the organist is £40 for the hymns.

But surely you'd need to pay the organist anyway for your enstrance music etc? Or do they charge extra for hymns?

I couldn't do without 'em. Music is such an integral part of our service and I wouold think it very odd to go to a church ceremony with no hymns.

I would be quite surprised if you could have a church ceremony without some hymns - have you checked with the minister?

It's as wrong for you to force him to get married in a church if he really doesn't want "anything religious" just as much as it is for him to force you to not get married in a church because you want to. Simply "going along with it" to keep the peace, either of you, isn't really a very good way to get married.

I'm not sure "being a mans man" is a reason not to sing... I'm pretty sure many of the Welsh Male Voice Choirs, often from collieries, were pretty much full of "proper men"...

We had to choose a minimum of 2 hymns and 1 religious reading. We could have had more, but certainly no less.

At every wedding I've ever been to, and maybe it's just something to do with the people I know and am related to, but nobody ever makes an effort to sing the hymns and I think there's nothing sadder than hearing the priest trying to belt out some hymns and nobody making the same effort, it's just a low level murmur. If I was having a church wedding there's no way I'd bother with them for people not to care.

As someone said above, if you can afford a choir then go for it, they would really make a massive difference.

My partner is not religious, so doesnt mind where get married. So im not forcing him to church, but i believe in God, and he just wants me to be his wife. (doesnt sound romatic, but it is I promise)

im not having the traditional wedding music, it will be a song played in the church, so the organist would be just for the hymns.

i cant afford a choir otherwise, i definately have them, as their voices are beautiful.

Im just not sure at all, and i know the hymns will definately all be murmurs, as im the most religious one out of both family and friends.

Our vicar said we didnt have to have hymns.

This is stressing me out (typical out of everything that could go wrong, its the hymns)

I'm not remotely religious but will obviously attend church weddings (If I HAVE to, sigh ). I know very few hymns other than those I used to sing at school. These hymns always seem to draw contempt from "proper church goers" as being too infantile and therefore indicative of one's lack of churchiness. However, although you personally may be very churchy, your boy and families aren't. So I suspect picking the "easy" ones might encourage them to sing. What's that one which has a chorus of "Hallelujah" repeated, with the second "Hallelujah" going up really loud and high? My friend had that and people belted it out. Keep it simple with ones people know.

If the vicar says you don't have to have hymns, that does make it easier. It doesn't matter what your guests may or may not expect - it's your wedding.

There is no need to get stressed about this though - the most important bit is the "legal bits" - the vows and "I do's" - so if you are happy with no hymns, he is happier with no hymns, and the vicar doesn't care, then problem solved.

However, if you really want hymns, then it's a discussion you and your h2b need to have and come to a compromise/agreement.

Thanks everyone, its really helped

Ill have one more chat with him about easy songs that we all know, but I think we will be having personalised vows aswell, so there will be a lot of romance, and religion involved.

We have a great vicar, Ill be inviting her to our afterdo, as I have got to know her a lot better as I have been attending for 6 months (getting married outside our parish) and she is so lovely.

What about hymn like give me joy in my heart and jerusalem (which is sung a sporting events)? I would go with ones everyone should know that is what we have done we are having those two plus amazing grace. In the hope that people will sing, i have also been telling everyone i want proper singing!

WSS - I suggested Bind Us Together to my friend for her wedding as it's really easy to pick up and really easy to sing. Everyone sang it quite loudly!