So, let's just say I didn't take the announcement very well yesterday. I've barely slept, and feel a little numb to everything today.
After the speech in parliament we decided to cancel our wedding next year. We've had our special day planned since 2018, we should have been married by now - I couldn't cope with postponing our wedding for the 4th time as I now do not know when is safe to postpone to.
This is crippling.
We are still hoping we can wed on the 14th November this year, in a little registry office with 8 guests. Not what I had wanted at all, but this year in general has highlighted the need to make the best out of a very crappy situation.
I know I'm in good health, I know it's "just a wedding" but to me, I'm in mourning - I'm heartbroken, and I am allowed to feel like this. I'm scared, scared of how I'm going to feel next year of even the year after. I'm not sure how I will cope seeing other brides allowed to have their perfect day when mine was swept away. I really really feel for everything everyone is going through in the pandemic, life is cruel. But just this week, it's about me & my fiancé, I'm being selfish.
So this is it - not really sure where to go from here, my wedding was the backbone to most days and if someone brings it up in conversation I don't think I'm not going to be able to completely break down