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Savvy December 2020 East Central London

No longer a 2021 bride

kentgirl2020, 23 of September of 2020 at 07:18 Posted on Planning 0 12

So, let's just say I didn't take the announcement very well yesterday. I've barely slept, and feel a little numb to everything today.


After the speech in parliament we decided to cancel our wedding next year. We've had our special day planned since 2018, we should have been married by now - I couldn't cope with postponing our wedding for the 4th time as I now do not know when is safe to postpone to.


This is crippling.


We are still hoping we can wed on the 14th November this year, in a little registry office with 8 guests. Not what I had wanted at all, but this year in general has highlighted the need to make the best out of a very crappy situation.


I know I'm in good health, I know it's "just a wedding" but to me, I'm in mourning - I'm heartbroken, and I am allowed to feel like this. I'm scared, scared of how I'm going to feel next year of even the year after. I'm not sure how I will cope seeing other brides allowed to have their perfect day when mine was swept away. I really really feel for everything everyone is going through in the pandemic, life is cruel. But just this week, it's about me & my fiancé, I'm being selfish.


So this is it - not really sure where to go from here, my wedding was the backbone to most days and if someone brings it up in conversation I don't think I'm not going to be able to completely break down Smiley xd

12 replies

Latest activity by HollyClapshawEvents, 22 of October of 2020 at 12:07
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Sending huge hugs to you. This is a horrible situation and you totally have the right to feel upset about it. Give yourself the time and space you need to grieve. Let it out to a good friend (someone you can trust to understand and not to tell you that other people are worse off!!!) and if other people - people you don't feel you can share with - try to talk about it, just say 'thanks, but it's too painful for me to talk about'. Most people get this.

    But I also want to say that your wedding, whenever it happens, with however few guests, will still be special, because you're marrying your best friend. Our wedding was nothing like we planned, and yes, I was a little sad about the 'couldn't haves', but nothing can take away from our joy at being Mr and Mrs. So however limited it ends up being, your wedding day can still be a joyful one xxx

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  • ExpensivePinkFlowers63608
    Savvy April 2021 Somerset
    ExpensivePinkFlowers63608 ·
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    I feel exactly the same, and we ARE allowed to feel like this, you're right. I get annoyed hearing other brides moan about having just one wedding postponed (even though of course their feelings are just as valid!), or if they've only just got engaged and they're doing the 'woe is me' already. It's infuriating.

    I broke down after the news too. Max 15 guests for probably (government's own words!) six months. I've cancelled two weddings. Our third date is in April. Six months is March but they're not suddenly going to go from 15 back to normal - I guess at best it will go back to 30. In which case, what was the point in me cancelling our September date? Especially as now my brother isn't coming in April whereas if we'd kept September he would've. I am beyond devastated. If only the government had announced this just one week earlier I would've rebooked our September date (which was literally three days ago - 20th Sep) because it would've been better, even with restrictions than it will now probably be in April!

    Also, I'm not a young bride - I'm almost 40. I don't have children. I've never been married, and I've waited a flipping long time for this. I've never had what other people get to have and I only asked for this one thing - it's been taken from me three times.

    So my god, I feel your pain, I really do.

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  • Paige
    Beginner March 2021 Shropshire
    Paige ·
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    It is so sad! While I can't imagine how it feels to postpone multiple times or to cancel, I just feel so deflated as everything going on has taken all of the excitement of planning away and I almost wish we hadn't booked anything, but of course we weren't to know what 2020 was bringing!

    Our wedding is in March 2021 and we had just come to terms with a 30 person wedding before the announcement that the numbers had been reduced again. There's been many tears this week and a lot of stress but we keep trying to remind ourselves of what we do have, rather than focusing on what we can't have and remembering that getting married is the most important part (but we have let ourselves feel angry and disappointed plenty too!).

    We plan to go ahead in March and have a bigger party later with everyone, because celebrating twice feels like the best way to make up for such a crappy wedding experience!

    Sending hugs to you all!

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  • E
    Beginner April 2022
    ExpensiveIvoryBridesmaid83959 ·
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    Hi Smiley smile we were supposed to be married Friday just gone, we postponed to 14/3/21 and I’ve postponed again to April 22. I’m hoping by then things will be back to normal. I feel your pain it’s such a horrible time at the moment. Xx
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  • K
    Savvy December 2020 East Central London
    kentgirl2020 ·
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    Thank you Smiley heart - thankfully those who have asked and I've said I don't want to talk about it, have been really understanding Smiley smile

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  • K
    Savvy December 2020 East Central London
    kentgirl2020 ·
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    Your reply made me cry again. It's awful how the dates have been ripped away from us. We've been planning our day for two years, March was our third postponement. We will be married, and it will be special.

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  • K
    Savvy December 2020 East Central London
    kentgirl2020 ·
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    Definitely come to realise that with guests it's quality over quantity! I hope you have a lovely day in March - we deserve it

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  • K
    Savvy December 2020 East Central London
    kentgirl2020 ·
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    Ah 2022 seems so far away, I hope by then there is more clarity on life in general and we're in a better place. It will most definitely be worth the wait x

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  • ExpensivePinkFlowers63608
    Savvy April 2021 Somerset
    ExpensivePinkFlowers63608 ·
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    Sorry, didn't mean to make you cry!

    It's frustrating, it's infuriating, it really is. If it was the same restrictions for everybody, I wouldn't mind so much but it's different rules for different things and just seems so so unfair when I will know everybody at our wedding and can easily 'track and trace' them. I know where they've been and where they come from, so I feel the risk is so much more minimal than say... a football match. Or a grouse shoot.

    But hey ho.

    The only thing that has consoled me is the idea of a big party in 2022 to make up for a messed up 2020/2021. We're going ahead with April 2021 regardless now, I can't bear to change it again, but we're gonna party like it's 1999 in 2022! And hey, at least a covid wedding will be memorable, right?

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  • L
    Beginner May 2020
    LuxuriousYellowDecor61051 ·
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    So sorry you’ve had to postpone so many tines and now cancel ? I can empathise with the feelings of loss and frustration!
    We had been planning our May 2020 wedding for a couple of years but postponed to March 2021. No idea if that’s going to go ahead at all, with 15, 30 or 100 guests. I hate the unknowns!Can I ask how your cancellation process went? I want to start looking into it but have no idea where we stand at all!
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  • K
    Savvy December 2020 East Central London
    kentgirl2020 ·
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    Hey lovely - thank you.


    My cancellation process has been OK but as expected quite stressful.
    What I would do is start listing your suppliers by highest downpayment to lowest. Contact them in that order and see what they are willing to give you back. Check all your contracts too, and if they start being arsey quote the contract if its in your favour. We’ve so far lost approx £2000, we have some super small suppliers and I felt awful contacting them for a refund but if I didn’t, overall we would have lost around 25k.
    After you’ve done this you’ll be able to figure out if it’s worth cancelling or holding out for a postponement. Our venue did offer to lower the price as we’d have reduced guests but we declined. Some suppliers who wouldn’t refund did offer us credit notes to use on anything else they offer(cake / flowers etc) and our photographer / pianist are reducing their price but still able to come to our small wedding in nov.
    Hope this helps x
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  • L
    Beginner May 2020
    LuxuriousYellowDecor61051 ·
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    Thank you so much for replying. Our venue (and associated caterer) is the biggest cost, and the contract is 100% not in our favour. At the moment, even with 6 months to go we’d still have to pay the full fee!
    Sending all the positive thoughts your way for your November wedding!
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