New mum as bridesmaid??

If she wants to do it then definitely still have her!! Don't listen to your mum. If she's your best friend she's be coming to wedding regardless wouldn't she? So makes no difference if she's a BM or not.

I think you have done the right thing in asking her and that your mum is bang out of order telling you not to waste money on your best friend.

Im sure she'll do her best to come - you have to be prepared that something could change, but that goes with any pregnancy or situation.

Offering to pay for her family is also a very kind thing to do...there's been a few people on here in the past that could a thing or two from you!

If you just want her to be there as part of your bridal party I say go for it! How many other bridesmaids are you having? If her dress doesn't need to match any others then you can always dress a few weeks before the wedding when her weight and body shape has stabalised after giving birth. It sounds like its really important to you that she is a bridesmaid so I say go for it!

As a mum of a 13 week old, I can only imagine she will have her hands full in those last few weeks of your wedding preparations. However if she is happy to do it and you obviously really want her to do it then I say why not.

The only thing you might have to think of when looking for dresses is that if she is breast feeding, she might need a dress that accommodates that, plus she might feel a bit self conscious of pregnancy weight gain (I know I did!) so a floaty little number might be a better option for her dress??

What kirstabubble said.

I think if she is a bridesmaid, you need to find a floaty style dress that can hide any left over baby weight, most people dont shift it within 7 weeks as far as I've known. I would say let her do it, she will soon know after they are born if she wont b up to it, and so while you may only find out a few weeks before, is it really worth the upset it could cause your best friend for you to say you dont want her to do it. Personally, if it were me, I'd be gutted if my friend asked me to step down when I thought I could do it.

Thanks everyone - makes me feel much better. I really do want her to be there but I just can't imagine how tough those first few weeks are going to be for her. I was hoping getting nails, hair and make up done would be a nice change!!

I have 2 other adult bridesmaids and we have more or less decided on a dress from dessy - the plan was to order the dress a few sizes up and then take it in as close to the date as we could - and as you suggested it is a floaty number which even at 5 months pregnant looked stunning on her!! Shame less flash below:

That's a beautiful dress!

Gorgeous dress!! I think that style would be perfect for any bridesmaid and especially a new mum

I think you need to reask her about it, she may feel differently now she knows she is going to have her hands full with Two. She will have to consider who will look after the babies when she walks down the aisle, pictures taken with you and the usual bridesmaidy things. It may be now that she hasn't found the right time to tell you she doesnt think its a good idea or even thought about these things. With twins she will probably be around 2 months PP at the time of your wedding, as they are likely to come a few weeks early but i still think its a lot for her to ask of herself when she will probably be running on caffeine! lol

After 15 years of friendship, there is nothing both of you would love more than to share your special day but there are other ways to do that without making it a military operation and more enjoyable for everyone! im sure she will thank you for having this discussion again

I would keep her as a bridesmaid, as she's your best friend. I'm sure she will be disappointed if you ask her to step down now. I don't think either of you are being crazy as your mum says, as long as you're prepared that she will not be able to help in the run up and may not be a huge help on day even, with twins to look after, then you won't be disappointed.

Also, the bridesmaid dress you've chosen is lovely and will be able to cover any baby bulge left after 7 weeks.

Good luck with it all.

I think you making the right decision. You've made a great choice of dress and it's sensible to get it so it can be easily adjusted plus if something happens and she can't make it on the day it's the kind of dress she could easily wear on a fancy night out so it wouldn't be a total loss. You've other bridesmaids for support and doing tasks before the wedding and on the day so all she'll need to do is get dressed up and go to the ceremony; people will understand if she needs to pop off for a nap after the food or go to bed straight after the first dance or whatever. If her husband and parents are going to be there that's three adults to look after two babies for probably 2 hours in total while she's getting ready, at the ceremony and having photos taken, which really should be enough!

I think you need to keep revisiting the conversation; don't keep asking her but just check in that she knows she can tell you if it's too much or whatever, but if you've been good friends for so long that probably won't be difficult. You need to prepare yourself that if there's complications she may not be able to do it or may just feel differently after they're born but IME pregnant women and new mums who want to do something are pretty determined!

My cousin's wife did a 4 hour round trip less than two weeks after her second child was born (first one was not even 18 months too) and this was just to be at a family meal for my Dad's birthday. She'd said all along she wanted to be there, no one really thought she would manage it and she was probably told a hundred times that she didn't need to push herself etc but she felt well and wanted to do it, so she did and had a lovely day.

I don't know about your Mum but when mine had my brother and I there was a lot of advice to be sitting with your feet up as much as possible at the end of pregnancy and for the first couple of months (which she pretty much ignored - arriving at her cousin's wedding on the back of my Dad's bike less than a month before I was due and horrifying my Nan!) so maybe that's what is colouring your Mum's view.

Remember most twins come early, my sisters twins came 2 months early.

as you have said her parents will be there so im sure they will be happy enough to look after them whilst she walks down the aisle with you.

i think you are doing the right thing but i would double check with her before you order the dresses as a lot can change in a few months when being pregnant.

7 weeks should be absolutely fine. She could still be a bit weak and might still be walking a bit slowly but she'll be able to act as bridesmaid. Even if she went 2 weeks over and had a section 5 weeks recovery would be enough to be able to do it. But with twins they're more likely to be born pretty early so it gives her even longer to recover. The only issue you haven't mentioned is breastfeeding. If she is planning to try that at around the age the twins will be it could easily be ever hour so you need to make sure she can do it easily in her dress.

From what you have said you and your friend are very close. With that in mind I'm pretty sure she will be coming to the wedding no matter how tired/sore etc she is feeling. So the only extra bits you are asking of her are to walk down the aisle wearing that dress and pose for some pictures (maybe? dpending on your TOG style). I don't see that as a huge ask for her. She may prefer to get ready seperately as she might not be spare for a whole morning but other than that I don't see an issue. Feeding-wise she will have to do that anyway, that dress looks like it would slide down easily to allow her to pop breasts out if necessary. From my experience with bfing mums of twins it is easiest to feed them at the same time, which as you can imagine requires a comfortable place to sit and especially in the early days pillows etc. It might be worth seeing if there is a comfortable room availble in your venue (only if she wanted to use it however, breastfeeding in public is ace!)

Yeah the dress looks good for bf, but it might be nice for her to have a nice cardi or something that can cover the top of her boobs. Mine have ballooned to size F so I felt a bit uncomfortable just pulling them over the top of a dress because it looked a bit obscene when I saw a pic!

I am in exactly the same situation and was just about to post on here for advice when I came across your thread! My best friend (and CBM) told me yesterday she is pregnant, it's very early days and she is having her scan in January so we'll no more then but she thinks she's due 3 weeks before my wedding! I am so please for her and I did exactly the same as you and said it's totally up to her if she wants to still be a BM. I also live 3 hours drive away from her but she is adament that she is coming and still very much wants to be involved. Luckily I knew she was trying so we haven't even looked at dresses yet but I have no idea where to start! The dress you have chosen looks lovely and I think I will suggest something like this.