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Nenas
Beginner March 2012

My wedding report - chocolate_e - 22.3.12 ***Flash heavy***

Nenas, 20 of April of 2012 at 20:39 Posted on Planning 0 52

A bit delayed, sorry! And I don't mean for the beginning of this to be a major downer, but it influenced our day in a big way.

The pics aren't watermarked, so as our photographer Deborah Stott is so amazing, please ask me if you want any of the pics and don't post them elsewhere - thanks!!

And also, its long... very long...

Bit of Background

10 days before the wedding my OH’s Auntie (his Mum’s sister) died from cancer. Her funeral was planned for a week or so after the wedding, so everyone was a bit in limbo around the time of the wedding. However, they were all looking forward to the wedding and saw it as an opportunity to have something to look forward to and take their mind off the funeral as it was quite a long time to wait (over three weeks after she died). Rob’s cousin originally wasn’t going to be able to make the wedding as she is a teacher and we had a mid-week term-time wedding, but she was now on compassionate leave, so while it was for the absolute worse reason, it was nice that she was there and she was there to support her dad (and to keep him from spiralling into despair at the wedding – she knew it would be good for him to be there).

Tuesday 20th March – 2 days before the wedding

The wedding was in Stoke – a good drive from where we live in Kent, so we had quite a few things to sort out before we left. OH’s parents had already gone up to Stoke and were staying in a cottage close to the venue for a week, and his brother and his family were going up the same day as us to stay in their cottage as well (we had our own booked). They were all our usual cat-sitters, so we had to put our two in the cattery for a few days – not something I was looking forward to as they’d only been in once before overnight and it didn’t go very well (that’s a whole different story)! It was heart-breaking leaving them because we could hear one of them crying for us as we left, but we just carried on and tried to put them out of our minds. We actually returned home at this point because I needed the loo and we couldn’t think where else to go! So, about half an hour after we originally left, we were finally on the road to our wedding!!!

We were on the road for about 5 minutes, driving along the road we drive along most weekends, aware of the speed cameras along there, but somehow OH seemed to take no notice and went through a 50mph camera at 56mph, and saw the camera flash in his rear view mirror – not a good start!! Thankfully the rest of the journey was fine and we arrived in Stoke about 2pm, unpacked our stuff into our cottage and then head up to his parent’s cottage. They had a hot-tub there so we took our stuff and lazed in there for a while which was quite relaxing. At that point OH’s brother turned up and announced that his 4-year old had tonsillitis since the weekend and they had considered not coming... why they hadn’t told us this before I have no idea! Anyway, OH’s parents made us all dinner and we head back to our cottage fairly early to get as much sleep as we could.

52 replies

Latest activity by UnionJackDream, 23 of April of 2012 at 20:36
  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    Wednesday 21st March – the day before

    We went back to OH’s parents cottage for breakfast – when we got there the smoke alarms were going off, his dad was swearing at the sausages that were too hot to turn under the grill, his mum was shouting at him not to swear in front of the kids, she was jumping up and down with towels trying to waft the smoke away from the alarms, the 1-yr old was crying from all the commotion and the 4 yr-old was shouting for Nanny to look at her colouring! This cycle happened about 4 more times each time the grill was opened to turn the sausages! Not a very relaxing breakfast..!

    There were a few things that the boys needed to sort out with their suits, so we took a trip to the suit place in Stoke to get better sizes etc. After that we’d arranged to go to the venue to set things up. We were meeting Best man and his girlfriend there for them to give us a hand. We also saw our photographer who was there doing a pre-wedding shoot for another of her couples, and she was really excited to see us and said she couldn’t wait for ours the next day!

    It was really nice setting things up. We started in the ceremony barn and laid out our Order of Service and Order of Day cards and tied on some little wooden hearts on to chairs at the end of a few of the rows.



    We hung up our heart decoration for the back wall, and also the wooden heart garland across the front of the registrar’s table.



    We’d invited OH’s brother, his wife and their 4-yr old (the one recovering from tonsillitis) as she was going to be our flower-girl so we gave her the run-though of what she needed to do the next day. She’s quite shy and quiet so we weren’t sure if she would want to, but she seemed happy with what she had to do and even gave her dad a high-five as they left! We then went into the barn next to it which would be the reception barn. The caterers weren’t coming until the morning, so there were no plates, cutlery etc, but we set things up as best we could.

    We set out all the name cards, the menus (one main one per table, and then one each for anyone who was having something different – veggies, vegans, wheat & dairy-free..!), the table plan, table names (postcard style) and then the favours.




    We had originally decided to do rolled up lucky-dip lottery tickets, but given recent events in OH’s family, we ditched that idea and made a donation to Macmillan Cancer Support and got some wedding favour pin-badges and gave one of those out to each guest.


    After that we were all set up, so we left the venue, not to return until we were about to get married!!

    It was 3pm by this point and we hadn’t eaten since our stressful breakfast in the morning, so went to a Morrison’s nearby. We thought we’d get some sandwiches etc for getting ready in the morning because the ceremony was at 1.30pm and we weren’t going to be eating until 4.30pm (no appetisers at the reception), so we bought a few sandwiches for us to have while we were getting ready in the morning. Got back to the car and realised we hadn’t actually bought ourselves any lunch for that day, which was the reason we’d been there in the first place...back into Morrison’s we went!

    We got back to the cottage and I realised I’d forgotten to drop off my iPod at the venue which they needed as it had all the music for our ceremony on. I thought I’d have a quick check that the playlists were set out properly, and saw that for the aisle music where there should have been just one track lasting 50 seconds, there was also our exit music track on there! I didn’t have a computer to plug it into and I couldn’t delete it directly. I was frantically ringing the venue to see if they had a computer with iTunes on, but they’d left once we’d finished there. I was panicking big time because there was no way for our event manager to pause it at exactly the right moment before the next track started, rewind to the beginning and play it again if we needed more than the 50 seconds. It should have just been on repeat, and with just one track on the list it would have gone back to the beginning and repeated as normal. I got to the point where I didn’t really know what to do about it (ask the venue in the morning and pray to god they had iTunes..?!). My mum and her partner turned up at our cottage at this point and casually dropped into conversation that she’d brought her laptop with her as their B&B had free wifi!! I knew she had iTunes on it so we went back with them and sorted it all out – crisis averted!!

    We met up with the Best Man and his girlfriend again for dinner at the pub around the corner. I was starting to get pretty nervous by this point so spent most of the evening drinking wine (I’m not a big drinker, so 3 glasses for me was quite a lot!) and ordered a massive ice-cream sundae for dessert! I knew I wasn’t going to sleep amazingly well that night, so we got to bed fairly early in an attempt to get as much sleep as possible.

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  • PurpleStar
    Rockstar May 2022
    PurpleStar ·
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    Love the report... can't wait for more !

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  • Soulmates
    Beginner August 2012
    Soulmates ·
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    Aw, lovely so far, can't wait until tomorrows instalment!

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  • Pink Han-bag
    Beginner March 2013
    Pink Han-bag ·
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    Loving your report and I LOVE your heart garland, if you're thinking of selling it please let me know Smiley smile

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    Aww thanks. Someone has already snapped the garland up I'm afraid, but I think I saw some in Hobbycraft (I got mine from a previous bride at our venue!)

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    Thursday 22nd March – The wedding day!

    As I had thought, I didn’t get a lot of sleep. I’d fallen asleep for a few hours but then woken up and found it impossible to get back to sleep – I was tossing and turning for about 2 hours! It didn’t help that the bed was really uncomfortable, so at one point I got on top of the duvet for it to act as a bit more padding from the springs digging into my ribs! That was fine, but I was then cold, so I thought I’d get OH’s dressing gown to put over me which I knew was on the floor near me somewhere. I was searching around in the dark trying to feel out for it, and forgot that the waste paper bin in the room was made of aluminium, and I clattered my hand into it, waking OH with a fright! He didn’t know what the heck was going on, shouting out to me to see where I was (pitch black countryside cottage) and I just broke down crying because I was just so tired and fed up, and mostly scared that I wasn’t going to get any more sleep! It was 3.30am by this point and we were due to get up at 7am!

    I did eventually get to sleep once OH had calmed me down and woke up at 7.30am – OH had let me sleep in a little bit longer, but we’d given ourselves plenty of time to get ready so it wasn’t a problem that we were half an hour behind. We had a leisurely breakfast, although OH had left the milk out of the fridge so I had room temperature milk on my cereal, which wasn’t very appetising so I only ate about half of it. I fancied a bit of toast but we hadn’t brought any bread with us, so I had to make do without a decent breakfast – never mind!

    I showered and got ready into ‘normal’ clothes and my mum came to pick me up and helped get my dress and various other things I needed up to the venue for 10am when we had access from. I said goodbye to OH and gave him a big hug – my nerves had subsided a little but he was getting quite nervous. All the men-folk were meeting him at the cottage and they were all getting ready there before going up to the venue, but he had half an hour to himself before then, so I think he felt like he was at a bit of a loose end and wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He waved us off though, and that was the last I saw of him until the ceremony!

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  • mummymrs2b
    Beginner April 2013
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    Love it so far, looking forward to reading x

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  • M
    Beginner
    MAG2FMC ·
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    OMG - I'm DROOLING over your ceremony venue! GORG!

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  • *BigBird*
    Beginner April 2013
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    Loving this.. more!!

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    We arrived at the venue and our Photographer was already there taking shots of the venue. There’s a big lake alongside the main driveway and they get swans there every year – the swans were there that morning for the first time that year! The florists arrived just before us so were starting to set the flowers up in the various barns.



    I gave my mum a quick tour of the venue and then set-up shop in the room they had for us to get ready in, The Old Dairy. One of my bridesmaids arrived fairly soon after we did, and the make-up and hair ladies had arrived by then as well (hair lady was a friends of OH’s, and she’d brought her fiancé to help her, so it was quite fun). I sat down and started to have my make-up done (I was a bit nervous about this – the trial had gone well, but I don’t wear much make-up normally, so not used to having people poking and prodding my face!).


    Bridesmaid got her hair done in the other room (The Old Dairy was split into two rooms, but no door between them so we could still hear what was going on), and then came to show me. I hadn’t specified what I’d wanted their hair to be like, so she had gone for a nice low side-bun which looked really nice. My sister (MOH) and other bridesmaid arrived together about then, so my sister went to get her hair done while the other bridesmaid milled around.

    My mum was there too, but I think she was quite nervous because she didn’t really seem to know what to do with herself – she had her coat on for about 45 minutes! I was doing alright at this stage – I wasn’t too nervous at all and was actually quite calm. My sister’s hair was a simple half-up half-down ponytail which looked nice. I was still getting my make-up done, but got called through to the other room – my other bridesmaid didn’t know what she wanted for her hair... she didn’t realise she had a choice so hadn’t thought about it.. SO?!?! Think about it now, I’m a bit busy!!! I didn’t have much patience, so just told her to have a think and do whatever, I wasn’t fussed, so eventually she decided on a curly half-up half-down ponytail. My make-up lady had finished by that point so I went to sit in the other room to wait for bridesmaid to finish having her hair done.

    At one point in the morning, one of my bridesmaids looked at me in a kind of ‘I can’t believe you’re getting married, I’m so happy for you’ way, and I almost went. I looked back at her, felt the tears prickle and just said ‘Don’t’ and had to walk away from her. That was the only wobble I had that morning though so I was quite proud of myself!

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  • *Cloud9*
    Beginner August 2013
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    Can't wait to read more!!!!

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
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    I sat having my hair done while the others sat around doing their own make-up (I hadn’t paid for them to have their make-up done – they’d all said they were happy to do their own!) and we were just talking which was quite nice. I still wasn’t nervous.


    Once my hair had been finished, I decided to open the present and card that OH had bought me. I opened and read the card which was very sweet – he’s not very good writing down romantic thoughts, so he did very well and it was really sweet. I read it out to everyone and they agreed he was a sweetie! I opened the present which was a blue heart charm to tie to my bouquet (he was getting me my new and blue things, so did well!).


    Everyone else was dressed by this stage and I was the only one who wasn’t. We still had a while to go, about an hour or so, so there was no rush, but for some reason I felt really reluctant to get into my dress. Not for any bad reasons, but just because I think it would make it feel more real to actually be in my dress. I stalled for another 10 minutes or so, but there was literally nothing else left to do, so eventually went to get into it. Incidentally, I took my socks off and realised I quite literally had cold feet, so we all had a bit of a laugh about that!

    I went into the bathroom to get into my underwear and to step into my dress, took a deep breath and came out, only for no-one to be there – they were all in the other room! I shouted a little ‘Hello..?’ and they all came scurrying! I had wanted pictures of my mum and sister buttoning me into the dress, so it was quite nice to have those taken – it was a nice moment (even though everyone else was watching!), but my mum couldn’t get her fingers around the buttons so my sister did most of them, but it was still nice to have just the two of them helping me.


    We then had some posed pictures taken of us individually and together which was quite good fun and took my mind off things. I still wasn’t nervous, but the time actually seemed to be dragging because we were ready quite early.


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  • Blonde Viki
    Beginner July 2012
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    ??????????

    Fantastic!

    Loving this report - all the details are so beautiful Smiley smile

    Congratulations!

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  • Vanilla Pod
    Beginner September 2011
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    WBVS! Really lovely. You are such a pretty bride! x

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
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    The boys had arrived by then (the second photographer had been with them while they were getting ready at the cottage) and there were also a few early guests arriving. Our niece arrived and came in with her mum. She was a bit quiet and shy because there were lots of people that she didn’t know in there, but I sat down next to her and talked to her a bit – not that I got much of a response! The registrar came in then and went over everything. He was really nice so I was pleased we had him – we’d been worried that we’d end up with some really ceremonial woman with a stupid voice, but this guy seemed nice and quite fun!

    My Dad then came in and let out a massive ‘WOW’ when he saw me – very sweet! I’d wanted some really nice pictures of me and my Dad because I don’t have many, and we’ve become a lot closer in the last few years since he and my mum split up.


    Everyone else (apart from bridesmaids) filtered out to go and sit down after that! I still wasn’t nervous at this point, and mostly just wanted to get on with it... I’d been sat around waiting for about an hour!

    The event manager came over to come and get us. The weather was pretty good – sunny and clear, but it was quite windy! Everyone was battling with their dresses, and I was struggling with my hair, but we just walked over and sorted it all out just by the door into the ceremony room. My niece/flowergirl was stood there as well, being very good, and while looking nervous she headed off down the aisle once the music started! I knew we only had 50 seconds, so had told the bridesmaids to let flowergirl go down first, let her get half way and then follow her down one after the other fairly closely, and not to go down one by one. The Event Manager was telling them to go slower and go one by one, but I was just stood at the back going, ‘Just go, just go. Go, go, go!’ as loud as I could so they could hear me but no-one else in the room could! I took a step into the room and then waited while they sorted out my train. I remember taking a look at my Dad, he said ‘Are you ready?’ and I said ‘Let’s go!’ and we set off down the aisle.

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    More tomorrow!

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  • MonaLisaBrideToBe
    Beginner June 2012
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    Loved your pictures! You looked lovely!! xx

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  • charliebucket
    Beginner May 2013
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    Loving your report Smiley laugh Love your hearts you had for the ceremony table ... where did you get it from if you dont mind me asking Smiley smile xx

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  • Nutella
    Beginner March 2013
    Nutella ·
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    Loving! More please!!

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  • quackers
    Beginner August 2013
    quackers ·
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    The photo's are stunning, the venue is sublime!! and You look so calm and happy!

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    I actually got them from a previous bride at our venue, but I think I saw some in Hobbycraft a while back, so they might still have them Smiley smile

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
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    I wasn’t looking at anyone else, just down to the end of the aisle to see OH. The second I saw him I could feel myself going, so just looked down at the floor to stop myself from crying. I just remember looking at my shoes peep out from under my dress and walking on the petals that had been scattered down the aisle and then I was at the end of the aisle (as a side-note – the music had got to the end of its 50 seconds while I was half way down, so there was a second or two while it went back round to repeat, but that was better than it playing our exit music which it would have if I hadn’t been able to sort it out!).


    It was a massive relief to see OH and to hold his hand. I could tell he was nervous (I still wasn’t) because he was squeezing my hand quite tight and rubbing my hand with his thumb over and over again. Afterwards he said he was doing that to keep me calm, but I knew it was for himself really

    The ceremony went SO quickly! I know it must have lasted about 20 minutes or so, but if you’d have asked me, I would have said it was about 5 minutes – it really flew! We did have a couple of readings – OH read a short one which lasted about 30 seconds to a minute, and then I read the whole of the Love Monkey reading by Edward Monkton. It was quite long, probably taking about 3-4 minutes, but I didn’t trip over any of it and it came out in quite a nice way (it just sounded lame whenever I practised it in my head!). When I finished everyone gave me a round of applause!!


    After that it was the rings and the promises and that was it – we were married!! It was quite fun signing the register and doing the posed photos with the fake register. It was only at this point that I actually saw some of the guests when they came to take pictures of us – some of them I hadn’t seen in a few years so it was so lovely to see them!

    We exited and went straight off to get our pictures done before we started mingling. We spent about 20 minutes going around the grounds and taking pictures at various places. It was good fun and we got some amazing pictures out of it!





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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    When we’d finished with the pictures of ourselves we mingled for half an hour or so and then had some of the group pictures done. It was really windy where we were set up so I was getting quite cold, but it actually made for some really good pictures!




    I was having issues with my dress at this point - for some reason it didn’t seem to be staying up properly. During my fittings there’d been what felt like wide elastic bit that she would fasten up which would hold the dress up, and then the zip and buttons would just keep it there, but I couldn’t feel the elastic bit and got to the point of getting out of my dress to see if it’d been missed, but no such luck, so I spent the rest of the day hoiking it up which wasn’t very lady-like/bridal, but I was past caring at that point! While I was doing that with my mum and sister, one of my bridesmaids had arranged to have that picture taken where all the boys of the wedding party held me up horizontally. I wasn’t that bothered (I hadn’t requested it as a photo we wanted) and it didn’t work particularly well (OH had almost my entire weight in the middle and no-one seemed to be supporting my feet or head end!) so it was a bit annoying, but we moved on from that onto the confetti shot which was fun!


    A couple more big group shots of everyone and then we did the receiving line which was a great opportunity to see everyone at least once, and even for 20 seconds it was good.

    We did the speeches straight away so that everyone could enjoy their food afterwards. My Dad’s speech was great and got a whole load of laughs. For a man that doesn’t follow football at all, he got quite a few in against OH’s team (Everton) and they got the biggest laughs! OH’s speech was really good too - a good mix of funny anecdotes and sincerity. He had decided to make a very small mention of his Auntie who had passed away, not by mentioning her by name (his uncle and cousin didn’t want that as it’d have been too much for them), but by bringing attention to the Macmillan pin-badges we’d got and asking everyone to wear them for the day as they had special significance to us at the moment. Every single person put them on and had them on all day. It was a really emotional moment, and OH did get a bit choked up, but he managed himself really well, and moved the speech along nicely. It took me a few seconds to pull myself together, so i missed whatever it was that he said next, but it all worked out really nicely in the end. We spoke to his uncle and cousin during the meal and they said it was pitched perfectly and they couldn’t have asked for it to be done any differently. They were really appreciative of how we’d handled the situation and accommodated them as we had done, so of all the things that we’d been worrying about for the day (which to be honest had dwindled significantly since she had passed), that was the only thing that mattered and it had been just right, so we were very pleased.

    After the speeches we cut the cake. The cake went down a storm as our very own MrsC had made some snail cake toppers for us and everyone absolutely loved them!



    The meal went down great – the main was a joint of lamb for each table and we had them bring out hats and aprons for the nominated carver for each table and they went down a storm! There was a real buzz in the room when the carvers started putting their hats and aprons on and carving away and it set the mood for the rest of the meal which went down really well.


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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    We did quite a lot of mingling throughout the meal and afterwards. Between the two of us we managed to get around everyone at least once during the meal and then if they stayed to the evening at least once then as well which we were quite pleased with. We were both absolutely shattered given the lack of sleep from the night before and just the general run of the day, but we figured we could be tired the next day, we were only going to have one wedding to enjoy so we just powered on through!

    Our photographer came to get us as the light was fading for some more pictures which turned out fabulously!




    We did take ourselves off for 10 minutes just before our first dance. We went into the room I'd got ready in and just caught up with each other and sat together for a bit. It was actually the first time in the day we'd had a proper kiss (that wasn't during the ceremony or for any of the pictures etc) which was definately nice! We had a out first dance (In My Life by The Beatles), which to be honest was pretty cringeworthy as neither one of us are dancers and dont really enjoy it when people are watching us! But we made an effort and even choreographed a twirl in the middle of it!


    For the rest of the evening we danced the night away! I was a bit annoyed with my bridesmaids as NONE of them danced apart from about 3 songs. They were sat chatting to each other for the whole 4 hours of the evening do, which just meant that H and I had to be the ones up on the dancefloor if it was looking a bit quiet, when really we could have been mingling and chatting to our guests. But never mind, we had a fab evening and had really enjoyed our day!

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  • Nenas
    Beginner March 2012
    Nenas ·
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    If you've got this far then thanks for reading and I hope the flashes made it worth it! I know there's loads, but I love our pictures and want to show them off to everyone!!

    A few tips that I would offer for future brides:

    find out for sure before you pick your dress up exactly how it fastens, or at least have a bridesmaid/mum watch the dress lady fit you into it!

    Do try to take yourselves off at some point in the day, even just for 10 minutes to see each other and have a little bit of privacy. Eyes will be on you all day even when you don't notice it, so 5 minutes with your new H on your wedding day is not too much to ask. People will not notice you've gone.

    Whenever you open your cards and presents etc, make a note of who bought/gave you what! We opened all our cards the next morning and in the excitement completely forgot who gave us pounds, dollars, vouchers and little presents such a picture frames, snow globes, good luck horse-shoes etc. Its made it all the more difficult now we're writing our thank you cards!

    A few N&Ps:

    MrsC for our snail cake toppers! They were fabulous and looked brilliant on top of the cake. Everyone commented on how great they were and we love them!

    Deborah Stott, our photographer. She is so talented and such a lovely person. We're going to really miss being in touch with her and having her a little part of our life for a few months. We absolutely love our pictures and are so so pleased we chose her.

    Someone on here (i forget who, sorry! ETA - it was Old Bear, thank you Old Bear!) suggested the Love Monkey reading. It was perfect and went down really well, and helped to make our ceremony very personal to us. I doubt i would have found it without you mentioning it, and it was so perfect, so thank you!

    And all you lovely people on here and on the FB group. Have got to know a few of you and you've helped me through the final stages of my wedding planning - it makes it all the more fun to have like minded people to talk to about things with!

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  • vicster
    Beginner December 2011
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    Absolutely stunning... congrats! love the night time shots

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  • honeysparkle
    Beginner June 2012
    honeysparkle ·
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    Beautiful. Glad all went smoothly. congratulations. Your pics are fab

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  • Bittersweet
    Beginner June 2012
    Bittersweet ·
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    What a lovely report and gorgeous pictures. Congratulations to you both!

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  • M
    Beginner July 2012
    mrs jenkins 2 b ·
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    What a fab day you had, all looks amazing.

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  • *BigBird*
    Beginner April 2013
    *BigBird* ·
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    Loved this report! You looked stunning. Congratulations to you both.

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  • ESW
    Beginner September 2012
    ESW ·
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    I've been reading this every night while you have been writing it, I thought I would wait till the end to say what a GREAT REPORT.

    I love love love the snails, and the photos are all amazing, I will take on board the 'future bride notes'

    Congratulations and have a happy and fun marriage

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  • charliebucket
    Beginner May 2013
    charliebucket ·
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    Thanks Smiley smile

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