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Amybethxox
Newbie Bride June 2021 Essex

It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow but it will happen ...

Amybethxox, 23 September 2020 at 15:48 Posted on Wedding Planning 1 33
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Hiya,
So I got engaged in July and planned to get married on the 5th June 2021, with 200-250 people (biggg families!!)!
I am really struggling with how to move forward, I’m sure like many brides-to-be, but I guess my question is, do I just accept that the wedding of my dreams won’t happen and adapt or do I wait and try again for the dream wedding ?
There has been so many posts that have been inspiring and so positive. We are all going through a crazy journey but I wonder if there’s a space for a group of women- who want to - get together and just support each other. Maybe through WhatsApp or insta? Let me know if you’d be up for sharing this crazy journey with other brides-to-be and build a community, within the hitched community.Amy x

33 replies

Latest activity by HappyOrangeConfetti19696, today at 10:43
  • H
    Newbie Groom September 2021
    HappyOrangeConfetti19696 ·
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    Also engaged July this year and started planning for September 2021. With this week's announcements we're so stuck for what to do! We started planning already and are at the stage to book with vendors but anxious now deposits need paying that it's the right thing to do.


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  • Amybethxox
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Essex
    Amybethxox ·
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    Hey,
    Yeah exactly! We are the same- venues were difficult to find anyway because of postponed weddings but if we don’t ‘confirm’ etc then it is certain it will be snapped up!
    What does your fiancé say?
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  • H
    Newbie Groom September 2021
    HappyOrangeConfetti19696 ·
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    He wants the big do (50 day/100 night) and wouldnt mind waiting, but because we've been together 6 years already I never wanted a long engagement so I'd be gutted if we postponed til 2022 but I'd also be gutted if we spent a lot of money on a covid limited wedding, not the day we want, or got to next year and had to postpone to 2022 when all the good dates are already gone.


    I'm thinking maybe plan for 30 in Sept 2021 but if it's not that much cheaper than our originally planned wedding then is it worth it when we can wait another 12 months?
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  • M
    Newbie Bride April 2021
    MrsAtobe2021 ·
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    We are the exact same, got engaged in July and wedding is 18th September 2021. We had already booked the Church and thankfully the venue is the local cricket club we met at but I don't know if I should go ahead and plan things based on about 100 day guests or just plan for a much smaller number.. we don't want to postpone as neither of us are getting any younger and we want to try for a baby right away.. people keep saying we will be fine by then but I just can't see it, and I'm a fairly positive person 🙁

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  • H
    Newbie Groom September 2021
    HappyOrangeConfetti19696 ·
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    Our venue has been amazing, we haven't secured the date yet because of our worries but they've said we can put £100 down to secure September 2021 and they'll move the date for us if we change our minds in the new year, as most of their brides book in the new year for 2022 and we're going for a Friday so shouldn't have a problem if things need to be pushed back.


    I'm pretty positive too and until now I've been telling myself it'll be fine September, but given the current lockdown restriction ETA is end of march Im a bit doubtful. We're only doing this once and no intention of kids so another 6 months isn't the end of the world for us for a day we want. My heart breaks for those who don't have as much flexibility as that, I'm so sorry Smiley sad It will be an amazing day no matter what the restrictions are as long as youre allowed a small number of close family!
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  • Gabrielle
    Newbie Bride September 2021 Berkshire
    Gabrielle ·
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    Hi Amy,

    Thanks for setting up this forum, I'm in the exact same situation. Got engaged in July, and originally planned to organise the wedding for Sept 2021, found a lovely venue but am nervous about going ahead and booking the date especially after the further restrictions on guests announced this week. We both have big families so would be looking at having over 100 guests in normal times. Feeling really uncertain about what future weddings could look like which makes it really hard to plan ahead Smiley sad

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  • ExpensiveYellowFlowers59881
    Newbie Bride June 2021
    ExpensiveYellowFlowers59881 ·
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    Hi all,
    My wedding is planned for 12th June 2021 and this latest news has rocked my usually positive outlook. We've been engaged since 2018 and had the venue booked since just before Christmas. Already booked venue, church, photographer and dj, plus sent out save the date cards. Should have just over 100 guests coming but I would be happy if the government lifted it to 50 guests. We both have large families and when trying to write a list of just 30 we were having to choose between bridesmaids and grandparents. We also are planning to start a family straight away after the wedding as I'm 27 now and feel like I can't wait any longer. So the wedding couldn't be postponed. I think if it comes to it we will have a quiet wedding in the church and a big celebration later but it sucks.
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  • K
    Newbie Bride April 2021 West London
    Katie.shorer ·
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    In the same boat. We're booked for April 2021 which looks very unlikely to go ahead. The thing is at the moment none of us know what the future holds so I feel like we're playing chicken a bit as we're going to hold out until January to make a decision. I would hate to push everything back a year to then find out we could have gone ahead. But at the same time I've make peace with the fact it might be 2022 now.
    It's horrible but at least there's lots of us in the same situation! My fiance and I decided we just won't be able to do a wedding for 15/30 as for us it's all about the big celebration.
    On the other hand I'm 33 so like some of you was planning on babies ASAP....... If we postpone I think baby may have to come before wedding!
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  • Amybethxox
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Essex
    Amybethxox ·
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    Yeah, this is so frustrating ! It is the unknown and not knowing what is best ...
    My fiancé and I are the same, we want the celebration as he’d be the first (in a while!) to get married and his family are so excited!
    If you wait until January, do you think you’ll be able to ‘organise/finalise etc’ in 4 months ? I had never thought about that. However, I’m a teacher and I teach an exam year and their exams are in May (if they happen!!) so I’m sure I’d be able to manage planning and the commitment needed at work! I also completely agree with the other posts about babies, I already know conceiving is going to be challenging, so I wanted to start straight away and give us plenty of time!
    Urgh ! I keep hoping that by January a vaccine will be here, numbers will have dropped etc but the reality is, even if all those things happen, the wedding itself will HAVE to look different becausd we’ll have lived with Covid for a year and it will be scratched into our minds !!
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2022
    HappyGoldBridesmaid18836 ·
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    It’s a really uncertain time for everyone. We were originally all booked to get married in May 2021 but we decided to push the date back to May 2022. It’s a bugger having to wait another year but I want to look forward to our wedding and not have the anxiety of not knowing whether it can go ahead as we have planned or having to ask our guests to wear face masks.
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  • Hannahmac
    Newbie Bride September 2022 South West London
    Hannahmac ·
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    Hey, we were due to get married on 23rd May 2020. We moved to 29th May 2021 but have now decided to cancel completely until we can hug everyone. If you (like me) really want all of friends and family there. I say delay again! It's sad but the thought of eventually seeing everyone we love makes it the right decision!! H x
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  • Kirsty
    Newbie Bride August 2022 West Sussex
    Kirsty ·
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    Hey!!
    We were planning an August'21 wedding, but have made the decision to postpone for a year in the Hope's we can have everyone we love. But if not, then I'm getting married in August'22 no matter what!
    Stay strong and I hope you all get the wedding you deserve xxxx
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  • F
    Newbie Bride July 2021
    FL2020 ·
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    We postponed from August this year to July next year, got most of our planning done but not willing to plan anymore until things are more certain. I think we can deal with reduced numbers but I don’t want a wedding where people have to wear masks during the ceremony and my dad can’t walk me down the aisle. After already postponing once I don’t know how suppliers would react to a second postponement. Also don’t want to give up the honeymoon which is booked and not sure it’s moveable!

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  • Dee
    Newbie Bride April 2021 West London
    Dee ·
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    I know that feeling- I’m 33 and we wanted to try ASAP after getting married. Now the dilemma is give in and risk getting married with 15 people or plan something for April -July next year keeping everything crossed the restrictions are lifted. Decisions decisions
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  • Luke
    Newbie Groom September 2020 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Luke ·
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    💖💖💖💖💖
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  • G
    Newbie Bride September 2021 East London
    Gaby ·
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    Hi Amy I totally feel the same would love a supprt group! Would be keen on the idea.
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  • Naomi
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Surrey
    Naomi ·
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    Hi Amy,

    We're in the same boat - we got engaged in August this year and things felt a bit more optimistic even a month ago, so we booked our wedding for end of November 2021 thinking things would almost certainly be better by then! Now I'm just not so sure.

    Our venue have said to us that if we can't have the wedding we want by November 2021 because of Covid they will offer us an alternative date, so it may be worth checking with venues etc if they'd be up for doing the same. I'm 33 and will be almost 35 by next November so I would ideally like to get married then before trying for kids almost immediately, hence why we didn't initially want to wait till 2022. But I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that maybe we'll get married on a weekday in 2022 at this rate!

    Most suppliers I'm talking to have said they would of course postpone if we had to, but the main thing I am worried about is wedding insurance now, as nobody is offering any!

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  • HappyBlueConfetti82011
    Newbie Bride September 2020
    HappyBlueConfetti82011 ·
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    Hi ladies,

    Sorry you are all going through this. It really is a crap time. Our wedding was planned for Sept 2020, we postponed back in May and rescheduled to Sept 2021, and I'm really struggling to stay positive! Keep reading articles that say even after the vaccine is approved it could take a year to administer to everyone and restrictions will have to still be in place. I'm starting to think 2021 will be as much of a write off as 2020.

    Trouble is, when we postponed, our venue and a lot of our suppliers agreed to move the date for free but asked us to keep to our original payment plan to help their cashflow this year, so we've paid out over 10,000 as it stands.

    Like a lot of you on this thread we are desperate for a family (I was hoping to be pregnant by Christmas, pre-Covid) so if we had to postpone again I would want to put the wedding on hold indefinitely and concentrate on having a family, then re-visit the wedding in a few years when all this is over. But I can't imagine the venue and suppliers would agree to postponing again, especially if we don't agree to a new date.

    We've both agreed, no matter what, we will wait until we can have the exact wedding we'd planned, as why shouldn't we! So would wait for a few years if need be, I just feel like we're in a no win situation financially.

    Eurgh, it's all just crap isn't it Smiley sad

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  • S
    Newbie Bride August 2021 Greater Manchester
    Sian ·
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    Same here, engaged on 8th August after 5 years together, we're thinking of getting legally married on 7th Aug 2021 with us and 13 guests inline with the government guidelines (our venue can't add many more with social distancing but perhaps we could have our best friends if the rules change), then have a proper reception and hope that restrictions are lifted by 6th Aug 2022 that way we feel like we're moving forward, are more likely to have our elderly grandparents there and we'd have a three day anniversary.

    Is anyone doing similar?

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  • Amybethxox
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Essex
    Amybethxox ·
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    That is my feeling too. I want our elderly relatives to be there and Covid has made that hit home even more. What do you imagine the ‘reception’ looking like in 2022? Would it be a wedding reception, a party ...



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  • A
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Como
    Adafingr ·
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    Same boat...we got engaged in May but can't be positive enough for our June 2021 wedding...we will possibly go for 55 guests and if needed we will minimise it to 25-30 ...
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  • H
    Newbie Bride October 2021 Norfolk
    Holly ·
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    I'm feeling very similar - we got engaged in September and have already booked our venue (a gorgeous large barn) on the basis of having 100 guests for October 2021. We booked before the most recent restrictions of 15 came in, on the thought process that we would carry on planning everything as if 100 people will be no problem (making sure that all suppliers we used had a COVID re-booking policy that we're happy with), before making a call next Spring.

    However with the new restrictions of 15 in place, I just can't see us being able to have the 100 guests. 30-40 maybe, but not 100! So i'm now switching my mindset to planning an intimate wedding in the same space for the ceremony and wedding breakfast for 30ish people. Then, if by some wonderful miracle we are able to have the 100 guests, we will then have them to the evening reception. If not, we will stick to the daytime numbers and i'm currently trying to visualise what evening entertainment we would have for 30 people without it feeling flat (am thinking a blues bar style, cabaret seating and cocktails vibe!)

    Really feeling for everyone who are in complete limbo at the moment. I seem to change my mindset every couple of days! However I am feeling more confident with the idea of an intimate wedding without the pressure of disappointing people as it's surely going to be the 'norm' for the next year or so. Deciding on an intimate wedding also makes me feel as though I have more flexibility too in terms of being able to add people on if we are allowed to.

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  • H
    Newbie Bride July 2021 South East London
    Hollie ·
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    That’s what we’re doing - we originally planned for 120 people in July 2021, but have now booked a smaller venue which can accommodate up to 60 people. We’re inviting around 50, but have a list of people for 30, and indeed 15 people depending on restrictions. Our caterers have been really flexible and are happy to confirm exact numbers nearer the time. I’m 36 now and don’t want to wait to get married and start our family, so we’re going ahead regardless, even if it’s just us and the registrars!! 😂
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  • Rox1991
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Shropshire
    Rox1991 ·
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    We’re getting married 9th May 2021. I’ve set myself for the fact that probably we will have 15/30 people and have an intimate ceremony with close family. The venue have said we can then have a big party the year after with everyone. Nice to spread it out I guess as the wedding day always goes so quickly! We are still sending invites out to 60, but just mentioning a note on the invites to make people aware that it could change and if they book any accommodation to make sure it’s refundable in case. All a bit up in the air though! Really hoping by January we have a better idea of where we stand. Completely agree with people that if they are allowing people to go to pubs and restaurants, why not weddings!??
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  • M
    Newbie Bride April 2021
    MrsAtobe2021 ·
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    We are now going down to Cornwall at the end of the month to book a sort of elopement in April 21 with just parents and siblings, then have our wedding reception in 2022 when things will hopefully be better.

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  • Amybethxox
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Essex
    Amybethxox ·
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    Oh my goodness; I would love this idea.
    I feel for the FIRST time in a LONG time that this could actually make me feel happy about my wedding.
    We could never have organised and afforded 200-250 people in Cornwall but we could afford a ‘weekend wedding’ of maybe 50 (Max!) in Cornwall!! We could then do a 2022 wedding reception.Xx
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  • M
    Newbie Bride April 2021
    MrsAtobe2021 ·
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    I honestly feel like such a weight has been lifted, I was feeling so anxious and couldn't cope with the uncertainty. I feel so excited, just want to get it booked now so praying we don't go into another lock down for half term!
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  • Amybethxox
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Essex
    Amybethxox ·
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    I’m assuming you may be a teacher too?
    You may have just given me my wedding ‘answer’ so thank you lol! Let me know how it goes when you go to Cornwall and whether it is quite easy please.
    C
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  • M
    Newbie Bride April 2021
    MrsAtobe2021 ·
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    No, not a teacher, homeschooling during lockdown proved how bad I would be at that 😂, but I have two primary aged children so plan my life around term times lol, but yes, I will definitely keep you updated! X
    • Reply
  • C
    Newbie Bride March 2021 Hertfordshire
    Claire ·
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    So sad that so many people are going through this. We got engaged in January and have booked our wedding for March 2021. We are due to have a small (40 guest) wedding in Iceland. We naively flew to Iceland in March a week before everything kicked off and booked our dream venue for the following year.

    The excitement of planning has been filled with dread and anxiety. No more counting down the days, as every day that goes by we get closer to having to make a really tough decision. There are so many elements at play, our lockdown restrictions, Iceland's lockdown restrictions, travel restrictions.....urgh it hurts my head so much!! The issue we have is everyone has already booked their flights and moving them may not be easy until closer to the time. I think I know in my heart of hearts it won't happen but I am clinging on to the little bit of hope I have left. The next question is if we do postpone, how long for?? We are limited to certain months due to weather and location so end of 2021? Move it to 2022?? So stressful. But I keep telling myself, I have the best husband to be and we are both healthy and people really are dealing with worse things.

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  • Claire
    Newbie Bride June 2021 Northumberland
    Claire ·
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    Hi
    We got engaged in September and planning a short engagement (my 2nd time) due to my age (41) and starting a family with my fiance. We have found an amazing place but at 8k for venue 24/6/21 and most of guest travelling from northern ireland scared to book.
    We both work in NHS and i don't think anything is going to happen soon in terms of covid, don't want to delay but on the other hand don't know what to do.
    • Reply
  • R
    Newbie Bride June 2021
    RomanticBrownStationery38545 ·
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    Hi,

    We got engaged in Sep 2019 after 8 years together. We booked the wedding for June 2020 for 100 people, then in March we decided to move it to October as half our guests will be travelling from Ireland and had already booked hotels/flights that could only be moved forward to this year, along with some of our suppliers. Luckily come August when we had to reschedule again all our suppliers and the guests bookings were allowed to be moved to June 21 thinking it must be safe for then. No idea what to do now. I can't see us or the suppliers moving for a third time and any of our guests having to go through the same again. Whatever the hell the rules are then we may just go ahead or run away somewhere.

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