I really want a 3 night hen do in Ibiza but I don’t think any of my friends can afford to come. One has suggested a uk hen but the idea of that really depresses me. How could I go about offering to pay for some of my friends so I at least had 2 friends to come with me? The hotel I have picked is £260 all inclusive so they would need to get their own flights and club tickets but I would try to help with flights too if that was too much. I don’t want to upset anybody.
Hmmm this is a hard one. It very generous for you to offer to pay for the hotel. But tbh if costs are a concern it might still not be the ideal solution. As flights/ club tickets etc quickly add up. If you keep pushing it might feel like they have to do it. Also it's a bit hard to pick your "favorite" friends who are worth to do a hen do with you, while others get left behind. If your friends voice costs concerns I think you should take them serious. It surely wasn't easy for them to turn your idea down but financial concerns will ruin your hen do if you push them out of their comfort zone. After all a hen do in the uk can still be amazing and especially with everything going on atm, an abroad hen do might not seem a priority for most. Your friends might have suffered financially due to the pandemic and are worried about their jobs. After all their lifes are not on hold just because you get married and they might struggle in other ways/ prioritise different. And attending weddings is not free (travel, outfit, accomodation, gifts) either. I am not saying you cant to it but maybe sit down and have a budget chat with them to see what is realistic and comfortable doable without pushing them. They were honest about their budget and I personally feel like as a good friend you should take that serious/ accept this as is and not make them feel bad about it. Also not everyone might be happy/ able to take multiple days holiday for a hen do when they might already have to take days for the wedding. When is your hen do? Because travel concerns might be a part of it too. Hen dos are important for some people, I understand but in the end if you got all your friends there you will have a good time no matter where. And you can always spent the saved money on a lovely honeymoon. All the best
Yes I do agree with above that even if you offered to contribute to flights, hens always add up with spending money and accommodation and also needing to take time off work. It's a big commitment - especially during these times when there isn't a lot of job security. It's good that your friends have been honest with you about budget - you'd much rather they did that then spend money they didn't have and resent the experience (I've had a few friends who have had that experience with hens they've been to).
Why does the idea of a UK hen depress you? UK hens can be a lot of fun - and what's most important is having your friends with you, especially when most weddings and hens have been postponed all year. I think you might be surprised by how special UK hens can be and I'm sure your friends would put a lot of effort into making it special for you, while also being something they can afford. Why don't you have a sit down with your friends and see what they're suggesting for a UK hen? You can get across your priorities for your hen to them (e.g if you want a city where you can go clubbing - obviously covid dependent as not sure when you're planning your hen for or if you want all your friends to stay in one big house).
If you are really keen for a friend holiday in Ibiza, you could save it for a milestone birthday once things have calmed down.
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Hi thanks so much both for your advice your totally right I hadn’t thought of it like that and having thought about it a uk hen could be much better. We’re all in our 20s and some are mums so it’s difficult. I’m the first to get married and always thought that was what I wanted to do but it’s more important that everyone is happy and I wouldn’t want to make anyone worried about attending or affording it it’s just wrong. Planning it for a birthday instead is a great idea thankyou x